Definitions by QuacksO
human hoof and mouth disease
If chronic lack of verbal inhibition is an issue for you, one possible way to lessen the chance of coming down with human hoof and mouth disease is to wash your feet several times a day and only walk on clean surfaces.
human hoof and mouth disease by QuacksO April 30, 2020
virginilante
Da non-existent "portmanteau" word dat Mork From Ork was actually thinking of when Mindy --- alarmed at Mork's naively "taking the law into his own hands" by shooting out streetlights in an effort to save electricity --- asked him if he knew what a certain term meant; he told her that it refers to a guy who's looking for a "vigilin" --- i.e., girl who hasn't yet been "deflowered". "Vigilins are an endangered species nowadays".
Perhaps a "virginilante" could also refer to someone who tries to maintain the "unbroken" integrity of young ladies' maidenheads until they get married.
virginilante by QuacksO April 30, 2020
barbareian
A "deep jungle" dude who doesn't know any better than to take off all his clothes after having a few drinks in da pub.
If you invite a clueless back-woods native to accompany you back to civilization and hang out wif you around town, it might be wise to only take him to a tavern that's part of a nudist's camp, if you don't want your new buddy to get in trouble for "going all barbareian" on you.
barbareian by QuacksO April 28, 2020
cereal squatters
Refers to people who habitually store their breakfast-crunchies in your pantry-cupboard instead of keeping them in their own house.
People who live with other folks often have a bog problem with said fellow humans' selfishly snitching their tasty snacks to chow down on themselves, so I can see how these unfortunate souls might indeed legitimately need to become cereal squatters, just to keep their pricey comestibles out of the reach of their grabby co-habitats. If shelf-space is a problem, however, you could suggest that said Wheaties-stashers combine two or more boxes into one larger bag or wide-mouth bottle, so that more food can be stored in the same space.
cereal squatters by QuacksO April 25, 2020
shelfish
How da Walrus and Carpenter acted towards da naively-trusting oysters when --- after supposedly inviting dem to merely come along for a sparkling-conversation-filled beach-stroll --- da gluttonous duo ended up heartlessly chowing down on said hapless salt-water bivalves.
Lewis Carroll's famous "seaside shenanigans" poem is a good morals-lesson-teaching essay for young children, since it shows them how wrong it is to be shelfish.
crytearia
Da standards or sets of rules dat determine whether it would be reasonable/acceptable for you to "bawl 'n' blubber" yer eyes out over some matter or issue dat upsets you.
In "Alice In Wonderland", Alice absolutely "cried me a river" due to her feeling lonesome and unable to leave da large circular meeting-hall where da White Rabbit had led her. In the end, however, it all turned out to have just been a dream, so I dunno if most folks would have considered there to have been sufficient crytearia to justify all of Alice's copious eyes-streaming, even allowing for the fact that she was "just a young child". Same deal wif da selfish two-faced Walrus in Lewis Carrol's other masterwork for children, "Through The Looking Glass" --- said large leathery-skinned mammal may indeed have ACTED all "sad 'n' sorry" for da oysters dat he and his gluttonous carpenter-buddy had unashamedly stuffed their cheeks wif, but he was actually even **more** luscious-shellfish-meat-greedy than da Carpenter, which was blatantly demonstrated by his not only selecting da largest oysters for himself, but also holding up his handkerchief between himself and da Carpenter to hide how many of said sumptuous delicacies dat he was actually eating.
big-box "discount"
Not to be confused wif da economy/bulk price dat you gain from purchasing super-sized-containers of groceries and household products at places like Sam's Club or Costco, this snortingly-sarcastic term refers to where a company packages their products in a much-larger cardboard package than said items actually take up, giving THEM the "discount", since they charge about as much for said parcel of goods as that seemingly- larger amount should logically cost.
To save space in my cupboard, I was able to fit almost two times the number of granola bars in a box as were in there originally --- talk about a big-box "discount"!
big-box "discount" by QuacksO April 25, 2020