QuacksO's definitions

cop-out

Refers to any pathetically-threadbare "easy-but-ineffective solution" excuse used to maintain the infamous "blue wall of silence" and avoid having to terminate --- or at least adequately discipline --- a morally-delinquent officer for grossly unacceptable actions.

Disgruntled citizen, speaking to his wife over morning coffee and reading the newspaper: Huh --- says here that the sheriff claims his deputies just need "additional training" in the wake of a spate of police-brutality and racial-profiling complaints... what a cop-out! The problem is that those piglice are dyed-in-the-wool assholes, and he knows it --- "training" isn't gonna help THOSE sadistic bullies; they behave that way due to their basic evil/hurtful nature, not because they are merely not "learned" or "familiar" enough about their assigned duties or how they're supposed to act!

by QuacksO March 22, 2017

real estate

The various areas of a person’s body, particularly the “juicy” parts”.

Guy who wants to give a girl a massage: Don't worry, hun... I promise I’ll just touch the “acceptable” parcels of real estate --- when the sign says, “Keep off the grass”, I keep off the grass! (Acknowledgements to Charles Bronson)

by QuacksO November 26, 2011

auntiequated

Denotes da "super-old-fashioned" items and/or "old-school" lifestyle dat your parent's sister prefers.

My mom's family came from very humble beginnings, so I always loved spending time with my mom's elderly sister Bess, since her way of speaking and doing things was so delightfully auntiequated.

by QuacksO September 21, 2019

underminor

A capable/knowledgeable grownup --- such as a somewhat-rebellious-minded older relative like an aunt/uncle or grandparent, local pediatrician, grade-school counsellor, high-school classmate, etc.) who snortingly ignores parental wishes (i.e., "undermines") regarding young offspring (i.e., "minors"), giving said children the "goodie-items" they desire (spending money, sweets, toys, etc.) but that the children's Spartan-hearted parents don't want them to have, provides information/assistance with learning/tasks which the youngsters are unable to accomplish on their own but their parents refuse to merely tell them the needed answers or otherwise significantly help them in their efforts because "they need to figure it out for themselves", tells them and/or helps them to find out about "mature" topics (such as the age-old "young innocent's query" of "How was I born?", or the awkward/alarm-raising question, "What does an "adult-level"/violent/swear word that the Puritan-minded parent is horrified to discover that the young/impressionable child was introduced/exposed to mean?") that their over-protective parents refuse to explain/discuss with them yet because said parents think that their children are "still too young" to be told about such things, etc. Kids absolutely adore this kind of "willing to talk/help" person; parents hate their guts!

I'm kind of "on the fence" regarding telling/giving "da small fry" what they want against their parents' wishes... on da one hand, I fully respect a parent's desire to protect and nurture his offspring in an appropriate manner, but what about the (often very numerous, unfortunately!) instances when the parent **incorrectly** declines to help/enlighten the child, such as not assisting him in cases where he honestly does indeed have no idea how to proceed, or refusing to discuss/explain about a topic that **would indeed** be okay/appropriate/necessary for him to know about at his age?? I know how horridly frustrated I used to get as a small child when grownups wouldn't answer a simple question or help me with some mundane endeavor, and then later I'd resentfully find out that it actually WOULD have been perfectly okay/possible/appropriate for said grownup to have helped me, and thus I had needlessly been subjected to untold suffering and confusion by the adult's refusal to step in! What I would have given for a good underminor whom I could have run to in these "times of need" --- nowadays as a grownup myself, I SO INDEED make an effort to be a "child's advocate" --- I try hard to be helpful and generous in these ways whenever I see a confused/tearful child who needs info about/assistance with something.

by QuacksO September 30, 2018

wrestaurant

An eating-establishment where "it's like pulling teeth" to get service, decent portions, etc.

If Ebeneezer Scrooge --- well, before da three spirits reformed him regarding his greedy/miserly ways, of course --- had tried his hand at operating a diner, folks would have disgustedly referred to said outfit as a real "wrestaurant".

by QuacksO March 25, 2022

M.D. Golden Rule

Can mean either MODERN DAY GOLDEN RULE or MEDICAL DOCTOR/DENTIST GOLDEN RULE. Illustrates the degraded/depraved state of the human psyche in the self-centered dog-eat-dog world of the 21st Century.
Modern Day Golden Rule:
(1) "Do unto others BEFORE they do unto you"... in other words, CLOBBER EVERYONE AROUND YOU INTO A SHAPELESS PULP SO THAT THEY CAN'T "GET" YOU FIRST! (Never mind that those other hapless mortals may not have had any thought/intention whatsoever of harming you... why take the chance???)
(2) "Do unto others IF they have done unto you"... in other words, never do anything nice or helpful for anyone unless you get PAID to do it, or unless THEY DO SOMETHING FOR YOU IN RETURN. Nunna this "charity/volunteer" or "out of the goodness of your heart" bullcrap!
(3) "Do unto others AS they have done unto you"... in other words, TAKE REVENGE! Whup their sorry butts twice as hard as they hurt you (even if they never intentionally meant to offend), or sue the pants off 'em in court!
Medical Doctor/Dentist Golden Rule: "Do unto other SO THAT THEY ARE FORCED to do unto you"... in other words, INTENTIONALLY CAUSE A HEALTH CRISIS WITH YOUR CLIENTS, so that they will then be compelled to pay you hefty fat fees to "cure" them!! Perform needless/destructive surgery, give them medicine that you know they will react allergically to, pick around on their teeth to create new cavities if none are already present, and so on.

I try very hard to just behave myself, keep a low profile, and not get sick if I can possibly help it --- there are too many human jackals out there who practice the M.D. Golden Rule.

by QuacksO February 8, 2013

mortar and pistol

What former-Prez Ray-gun used in his various attempts to "crush" opposition to his foreign policies that were pro-big-biz at the tragic cost to the local inhabitants of said oppressed/conquered areas.

It's fortunate that the Iranian hostage-crisis was settled before "Prune-Face Ronnie" was elected, or the tense-but-stable situation might have gotten far worse if said senile loud-helicopter-utilizer had started using his "mortar and pistol" policies to try to get said captured Americans freed.

by QuacksO February 4, 2022