QuacksO's definitions

alibris

An "I couldn't have been the culprit because I was elsewhere" narrative dat you give da cops, saying dat you were at a house of learning at da time when da crime dat they're investigating happened.

Da term "alibris" can also refer to a tale of innocence dat you give da staff at a book store or reading room when they ask you about a book dat has not been paid for, signed out, or returned.

by QuacksO November 27, 2023

show up in uniforum

To have a whole troop of badge-wearers go to interact with someone, rather than just having one or two of "da area's finest" go talk to him.

Oftentimes a supposed "offender" is merely a meek harmless individual who likely hadn't actually been aware dat he'd broken da law --- or maybe even dat he'd offended anyone to begin with --- and so there's no need to "show up in uniforum" at his front door... most likely just having a single officer unobtrusively approach him and quietly discuss options would be more than sufficient!

by QuacksO January 29, 2025

while So-and-So looks on

Pointless reference to an "outside" or "auxiliary" person who just happens to be both visibly present and observing da action dat's shown being performed by da main subject of a photo.

Okay, okay --- I suppose dat a lot of da readers of a newspaper/magazine-article might indeed like to know da names of all of da human-eye-candy individuals who are shown in an accompanying photo, but to identify da merely-extraneous photo-bombers by saying, "while So-and-So looks on" seems a bit overly dramatic! Surely they could just write, "So-and-So (left) shows So-and-So (right) how he does such-and-such"...??

by QuacksO December 15, 2023

debtonation

Refers to da "explosion" of I.O.U.-creating activity dat has periodically occurred throughout human history.

Biff Tannen's successfully getting gambling legalized in California caused a catastrophic and widespread debtonation dat apparently rocked da entire US --- in this alternate timeline, Tricky Dick had presided for four terms and was seeking to get re-elected for a fifth, the Vietnam war was still going on, and so on.

by QuacksO November 14, 2022

Shylock Holmes

A late-19th-century consulting-detective who charged wayyyyy too much for his services.

If you think that Shylock Holmes charged too much for helping you legally, you would be totally "shocked" at how much his faithful sidekick, Doctor Wattson, charged for HIS medical services!

by QuacksO August 17, 2020

rhythm method

A supposedly-effective/reliable means of avoiding pregnancy, this technique practically guarantees that you will "crank 'em out like an assembly line" on an even and regular basis!

Jim Bob Skullduggary and his wife practiced the rhythm method when they first started out to raise a family, and you see where THAT got them!

by QuacksO December 29, 2017

calone

A non-German perfume that smells so intensely yucky or cloying that other folks typically clear out whenever someone wearing said crap-lotion comes anywhere near, leaving said scent-steeped person "all by his lonesome".

Slathering on copious quantities of calone can often be highly effective if you're not in the mood to be intimate with someone, but occasionally said ass-craving person will either not have a good sense of smell, can hold his breath for extended periods, have thought to bring along a damp rag to tie over his nose, or be so lust-crazed that he will feel that his getting laid is worth enduring the horrible stench.

by QuacksO December 29, 2018