QuacksO's definitions

candied camera

A "subjects photographed without their knowledge" show where you're given sweets to recompense you for having your picture taken.

Many children hate da whole "watch the birdie" ordeal, so using da "candied camera" method can help said ordeal feel less stressful.

by QuacksO April 15, 2021

ol' factory canal

A man-made watercourse that flows past a charmin' "antique" mill where skilled craftspeople produce clay noses for store-mannequins and wig-display craniums.

Disgruntled high-school student: BLAST IT ALL --- here I signed up for this class 'cuz I'd assumed we were gonna take a fun-filled field-trip to see an "ol' factory canal", but instead we just got stuck in a regular boring classroom and studied an insipid textbook about the human smelling-system!

by QuacksO April 15, 2019

statutory abuse

Refers to the not-necessarily-full-blown-mistreatment-but-still-distressing act of treating someone like an inanimate life-sized carved likeness of a human being.

Tiffany is so kind and lovable to me overall that I don't really consider it statutory abuse when she rests her foot against me while adjusting her socks/pant-legs or drapes clothing and towels on me while she's straightening up her room or getting ready to head out --- I know she isn't intentionally trying to belittle me; she's merely using my hips/arms/shoulders/head as convenient spots to temporarily rest/stash stuff, plus of course I know better than to "bother the maid when she's cleaning".

by QuacksO August 12, 2018

follow the money

Refers to the shameless act of stealthily sneaking along some distance behind a returnables-gatherer who is practicing the toss-across collecting method, and surreptitiously retrieving the bottles and cans that the gatherer has stockpiled on the other side of the road, along with any additional empties that are already on that side. By carefully hanging back far enough behind the collector and therefore staying out of his sight, the opportunist will likely never be observed, and thus the collector will be greeted with just a "barren" roadside all the way when he turns around to start bagging up his laboriously-collected empties on his trek back home again.

I usually try to start out at first light to collect returnables, so that any lazy-a** local delinquents who would want to "follow the money" will not even be awake yet, and thus they will not observe me or know to try following me around town that day to pilfer all my hard work.

by QuacksO December 10, 2018

asspirin

A special form of acetylsalicylic acid that you ingest to help reduce aches caused by the a**holes in your life, and/or to help you to better deal with anyone who is a royal pain-in-the-a**.

I wonder if asspirin could also help relieve the smarting pains of humiliation you'd feel if you'd unwittingly made a total jacka** of yourself in public???

by QuacksO September 25, 2019

tail number

Da current tally of "willing" chicks whom you've met during commercial-airline trips.

If you want to "rack" up an impressive "tail number" without having to use up all of your frequent-flier miles just to snag one or two hotties per trip, try getting a seat on a cheerleader-transport flight, since there will be lots of cute rumps all gathered together on just dat single journey, and so your "little black book" might attain a good number of entries all at once, rather than their just being added one-by-one from da random hot-in-da-crotch female passenger whom you'd happen across on each separate plane-ride.

by QuacksO January 10, 2025

seekquel

A "further adventures of" narrative regarding subsequent ferreting out of objects and/or clues, researching for da truth, etc.

If a movie leaves a lot of unanswered questions, a good follow-up film would be a "seekquel", wherein da characters assume roles of reporters, scientists, etc. to uncover said obscure facts and then reveal them to da audience.

by QuacksO February 26, 2024