Definitions by QuacksO
public condomnation
1. The act of performing "raincoated" intercourse in front of a crowd of people, to demonstrate/promote the practice of safe sex.
2. Noisy/widespread denouncement of latex-based birth control in favor of abstinence or rhythm-based copulation. In this case, the term is often uttered in a sarcastic/disgusted tone, where the speaker feels that the outspoken actor is behaving hypocritically, since he himself either does not actually practice celibacy/safe sex, or he does other obnoxious/abrasive/irresponsible actions in his own life that cause others far more burden/emotional pain/distress than would be produced by young lovers' having sex while wearing protection.
2. Noisy/widespread denouncement of latex-based birth control in favor of abstinence or rhythm-based copulation. In this case, the term is often uttered in a sarcastic/disgusted tone, where the speaker feels that the outspoken actor is behaving hypocritically, since he himself either does not actually practice celibacy/safe sex, or he does other obnoxious/abrasive/irresponsible actions in his own life that cause others far more burden/emotional pain/distress than would be produced by young lovers' having sex while wearing protection.
I get so totally turned off by those bible-blabbers and their public condomnations on the radio every week , especially when we all know that a good half of them secretly screw around themselves when nobody's watching!
public condomnation by QuacksO October 27, 2015
sexual blackout dates
Those dreaded 5-to-10 days of the month when a girl has to deny "downstairs access" to the special guy in her life.
Horny stud: I try to time my monthly visits to my gal's house so that I don't arrive during her sexual blackout dates.
sexual blackout dates by QuacksO April 24, 2015
Rear-view cleavage
The groove between one's buttocks, sometimes visible if the person bends over too far, or if his/her pants/shorts are too short/loose. Unlike a buxom girl's chest-cleavage, a sumptuous-sized endowment "back there" is not an alluring feature, as a girl is considered **more** attractive/desirable if she has a **small** cute round rump.
Wistful stud: I sure wish I could find a bosomy gal with a nice firm little ass --- all of the chesty chicks I've befriended so far have had a rear-view cleavage that's at least as ample as their chest-meat.
Rear-view cleavage by QuacksO April 9, 2015
"free kittens" deal
Refers to an offer/proposal/situation where the items or circumstances appear to be favorable or legitimate as they are initially presented, but then turn out to be a "bottomless pit" of required labor, responsibility, and/or financial resources.
A brand new ink-jet printer for only $29.95 may seem like a bargain, but it's actually a "free kittens" deal, because replacing the ink cartridges will cost more than the printer.
"free kittens" deal by QuacksO March 4, 2015
Sturgeon General
Sturgeon General by QuacksO February 24, 2015
official meaning
A savvy person's correct interpretation of what a two-faced public OFFICIAL (policeman, politician, etc) truly MEANS by a seemingly harmless/helpful/conciliatory remark.
Hall monitor, to delinquent student whom he is chasing: "I just want to talk to you."
"Official" meaning (what "The Book" states that the security guard supposedly means): "I'm not going to detain or even lay a hand on you --- I merely wish to verbally ask you what your issues are, sympathetically discuss them with you, and try to help you find a solution that will be palatable to all concerned parties."
Official meaning (what the dude with the badge is really saying): "You're in big trouble, kid --- I don't give a rat's ass what you say or how innocent you are; I'm gonna slap da cuffs on you and put you in detention! It's how I get my rocks off."
Delinquency-hearing board-member, to an under-review adolescent who is peering uncertainly around the meeting-room door: "Come on in and sit down, young man --- we don't bite."
"Official" meaning: "You have noithng to fear from us, son --- we're totally fair and just, and we only wish to hear your case and decide appropriate discipline, if any."
Official meaning: "We fat cats around this table are all in cahoots, and we enjoy makiing things warm for 'unpopular' youngsters like you. We practically have the power of life or death over you, and we gleefully use that power, too."
"Official" meaning (what "The Book" states that the security guard supposedly means): "I'm not going to detain or even lay a hand on you --- I merely wish to verbally ask you what your issues are, sympathetically discuss them with you, and try to help you find a solution that will be palatable to all concerned parties."
Official meaning (what the dude with the badge is really saying): "You're in big trouble, kid --- I don't give a rat's ass what you say or how innocent you are; I'm gonna slap da cuffs on you and put you in detention! It's how I get my rocks off."
Delinquency-hearing board-member, to an under-review adolescent who is peering uncertainly around the meeting-room door: "Come on in and sit down, young man --- we don't bite."
"Official" meaning: "You have noithng to fear from us, son --- we're totally fair and just, and we only wish to hear your case and decide appropriate discipline, if any."
Official meaning: "We fat cats around this table are all in cahoots, and we enjoy makiing things warm for 'unpopular' youngsters like you. We practically have the power of life or death over you, and we gleefully use that power, too."
official meaning by QuacksO January 26, 2015
guy equation
A simple algebra-type (A, B, C, and D) formula that illustrates the primary brain activity of a typical male when viewing members of the opposite gender.
She: Why do you want to know what size bra I wear?
He: Oh, just 'cause I'm a guy, and so I follow the guy equation --- A. We're guys. B. Guys love boobs. C. Double-D.
He: Oh, just 'cause I'm a guy, and so I follow the guy equation --- A. We're guys. B. Guys love boobs. C. Double-D.
guy equation by QuacksO January 24, 2015