Definitions by QuacksO
visa versa
Tongue-in-cheek description of a certain type of give-and-take "assistance contract", whereby either:
(1) Person A provides companionship/intimacy to Person B in exchange for his spending money on Person A (i.e., using with his **Visa** card), or
(2) Person A agrees to marry Person B --- or at least to provide Person B with one or more "services" of a similar nature as in Example 1 --- so that Person B will "pull strings" with the authorities to provide Person A with a green card or temporary citizenship (a "visa"), so that Person A will be able to legally reside in Person B's country for an extended period of time.
(1) Person A provides companionship/intimacy to Person B in exchange for his spending money on Person A (i.e., using with his **Visa** card), or
(2) Person A agrees to marry Person B --- or at least to provide Person B with one or more "services" of a similar nature as in Example 1 --- so that Person B will "pull strings" with the authorities to provide Person A with a green card or temporary citizenship (a "visa"), so that Person A will be able to legally reside in Person B's country for an extended period of time.
Financially-solvent dude: It seems like nearly all the cute chicks I've met expect me to go by the "I grant you what you desire, and visa versa" deal... why does romance seem to always have a string attached?!??
visa versa by QuacksO February 2, 2017
alternative mounds of joy
Refers to any of a girl's "sumptuous 'n' squeezable" bulges of pliable muscle-tissue other than her boobs or butt --- specifically, her shoulders, bicepses, and calves. The theory is that even if a soft-flesh-craving dude cannot acceptably access any "T&A" on his present female companion --- either because she prefers a more platonic relationship or they're presently in too public a setting for him to be able to touch her intimately --- he can still at least partially alleviate his raging "kneadable protoplasm" desires by filling his thirsting hands with these other "delicacies" instead.
Horny stud: Tiffany and I haven't talked about "taking it to the next level" yet, but I get the feeling that she would prefer to remain just at "second base" for the time being, so I think I'll just stick to massaging and caressing her alternative mounds of joy for now... hey, she's totally got delightfully warm and doeskin-soft flesh all over, so I feel satisfied and honored just being allowed access to even that much.
alternative mounds of joy by QuacksO February 1, 2017
long-winded discussion
Refers to any meeting between two or more people that takes place after they have all partaken of voluminous quantities of baked beans or spiced cabbage, resulting in a comparably voluminous quantity of drawn-out butt-trumpet rasps.
"July is National baked bean Month" Pppppppp-rrrrrttttt. "Excuse me." Google "baked beans speech" for the entire hilarious long-winded discussion.
long-winded discussion by QuacksO January 31, 2017
ellendegeneration
The most recent crop of humans who have been apathetically corrupted by watching petty-sensational-BS talk-shows on cable.
Old fogy: I can't believe what horrid selfish lazy crap comes outta the mouths of the ellendegeneration these days... why, when I was a child, we had to blaw, blaw, blah, blah...
ellendegeneration by QuacksO January 28, 2017
fly by wire
A term that addresses multiple types of "overseas" activities:
1. The modern-day system used by large commercial aircraft for added safety during flights to foreign countries.
2. Refers to the actions of a scam-king foreigner --- he asks people to send him money "by wire-transfer", and then promptly makes haste to "fly the coop" once he receives the fraudulently-obtained funds.
1. The modern-day system used by large commercial aircraft for added safety during flights to foreign countries.
2. Refers to the actions of a scam-king foreigner --- he asks people to send him money "by wire-transfer", and then promptly makes haste to "fly the coop" once he receives the fraudulently-obtained funds.
I got a sob-story e-mail message from a guy from Nigeria, asking me to Western Union him some temporary cash to help settle the multi-million-dollar estate of his terminally-ill grandfather who's on his deathbed, and then he'd share out with me ten percent... yeah, right! Sounds to me like da classic "fly by wire" con-game...
fly by wire by QuacksO January 22, 2017
it's God's will
The "ultimate manipulative phrase" that self-centered/dictatorial people use to try to pressuringly persuade others to acquiesce to their wishes, usually with purely selfish intentions, and often with disastrous results. Alternatively phrased with equally false/deceitful statements such as "Well, I prayed about it, and God told me that this was what you should do" or "Well, if you really love God and are a true Christian, you would do this", it is generally designed merely to guilt-trip someone into performing an unreasonable/dangerous/potentially-injurious action which usually ends up merely benefiting the requester, while laying excessive burden/risk on the reluctant provider.
Teenage daughter: I don't like this man; I don't want to marry him. He's way too old for me, and I have glimpsed his "other side" a few times, and it ain't pretty. I'm too young to think about stuff like that yet, anyway --- I want to enjoy the social dating scene first, and meet lots of nice guys before I choose a permanent spouse.
Parent: Well, your father and I prayed about it, and it's God's will that you marry this man.
Teenage daughter: Yeah, right --- **sure** you did! Just like your other relatives did when THEY got married --- and look what miserable relationships a lot of THEM have now! They're locked into unhappy marriages that they can't get out of because **God** wouldn't approve of a divorce from one of his *sacred unions*!! Nice try, Mom --- no THANKS!
Parent: Well, your father and I prayed about it, and it's God's will that you marry this man.
Teenage daughter: Yeah, right --- **sure** you did! Just like your other relatives did when THEY got married --- and look what miserable relationships a lot of THEM have now! They're locked into unhappy marriages that they can't get out of because **God** wouldn't approve of a divorce from one of his *sacred unions*!! Nice try, Mom --- no THANKS!
it's God's will by QuacksO January 22, 2017
Dr. Jackal and Mr. Hide
Refers to the common and acutely frustrating "doggedly pretending not to understand and thus getting the help-requester to repeat/rephrase his tale of woe over and over till he finally gives up" strategy that many adults/older siblings resort to in an effort to eventually discourage a youngster in his efforts to motivate said elder to intervene on his behalf, but the elder does not wish to get involved or bestir himself. This destructive and selfishly-deceitful practice involves a similar "hiding behind a veil of fake confusion" ruse used by the jackal in the famous fable --- the jackal pretends to never quite be able to understand the situation and thus flimflams the frustratedly enraged tiger into tempestuously re-entering the cage so that the jackal could lock him back inside again, thus preventing him from devouring the Brahman for dinner.
I tried to get my uncle to step in and settle the quarrel I was having with my cousin, but he always just kept smiling amusedly and scratching his head in apparent bewilderment and asking me to repeat my story and "explain myself" over and over --- I know full well that my story was perfectly clear and easy for him to understand, though, so I suspect now that he was pulling the old Dr. Jackal and Mr. Hide ploy on me just so that he wouldn't have to get involved in the dispute.
Dr. Jackal and Mr. Hide by QuacksO January 18, 2017