Definitions by QuacksO
Sometime in the next millennium...
Humorous way of saying, "My request is totally non-urgent; I'm just asking if you could please perform this action when it's convenient for you."
Just like the independent/cautious-minded Angus MacGyver (in one of his TV episodes, he grimly remarked, "When someone assuredly tells me not to worry, THAT'S when I START WORRYING!"), anytime someone begins an assistance-request with, "Sometime in the next millennium...", I get nervous, since in all probability it's gonna be an exceptionally difficult/arduous/boring task that they're asking me about, and/or the undertaking may actually be a lot more urgent than even the requester realizes.
Sometime in the next millennium... by QuacksO September 19, 2018
hat-plop emphasis
Refers to an occasion where you are accompanying your buddy on a warm-weather stroll and he has asked you to temporarily carry his floppy sun-hat, and then during your shared conversation, you voice a strong and/or important statement that carries a significant amount of "weight" to it; you therefore "drive home" your point by dramatically/flourishingly squashing your friend's hat back onto his head.
Using hat-plop emphasis to drive home your point is not intended to be offensive or demeaning in the least, of course, but it must be performed appropriately/diplomatically in order to avoid your seeming arrogant or insulting. One of the best ways to accomplish this is to smile and raise your eyebrows somewhat as you carry out this maneuver; extra credit if you also make a loud humorous spluttering sound with your tongue/lips --- like imitating the long raspy passing of gas --- as you do so, ensuring that the person knows that you have merely playful/harmless intentions in your actions.
hat-plop emphasis by QuacksO September 19, 2018
My religion's not like the others
The bu**s**t statement that pushy/self-righteous Bible-thumpers --- no matter what denomination --- hastily tell you in an attempt to reassuringly counter your protest of, "No thanks --- I've never had any luck with religion or churches; everyone there is always arrogant and hypocritical to me, and expects too much of me." Uh-huh... **sure** they are --- believe that, and they'll tell ya another one --- plus they've probably also got some swampland in Florida to sell you. :P
Disgusted teenager: I had a recently "converted" zealot from a local religious group tell me that, "Oh, you'll love us, trust me --- my religion's not like the others that you've had negative experiences with! OUR God is the True God, and He will treat you much better!" Yeah, right --- and the KKK claims to actually a virtuous people-respecting organization as a whole --- "it was just a few radical extremist splinter-groups that were violent, and gave the whole organization a bad name"! It's what they ALL say... just about EVERY group or organization enthusiastically claims to be "different" and "much better than the others", when in reality most of them are just about the same in terms of how they treat you or how they behave.
My religion's not like the others by QuacksO September 18, 2018
So aside from the ending, Mrs. Lincoln, how did you like the play?
A jokingly-sarcastic way of making light of a truly serious situation --- Abe was **shot to death** at the play's "ending", for goodness' sake!! :P
A couple of excellent occasions to dust off da ol' "So aside from the ending, Mrs. Lincoln, how did you like the play?" gag would be if either someone has just been helped out of the mud and is so incredibly soiled that he's having to be stripped naked and cleaned off with a pressure-washer, or you go to visit him in the hospital after a serious accident and he's all swathed in casts and bandages and/or hooked up to a myriad of tubes and wires, and so you're trying to cheer him up a little.
So aside from the ending, Mrs. Lincoln, how did you like the play? by QuacksO September 16, 2018
Wheeeeee-flup-flup-flup-flup-flup-flup-flup!
An "instantaneous fury"-producing sound that you groggily hear in the fairly-early morning when you are still only half-awake --- it means that someone in your family has accidentally let a roller-type window-shade "gallop away from him" and "over-roll" untidily, instead of his keeping a proper hold of its lower edge and thus allowing it to gently/smoothly roll up in the normal way and stop near the middle/top of the window.
Dear Prudence,
My sister let the front window-shade go "Wheeeeee-flup-flup-flup-flup-flup-flup-flup!" this morning --- AGAIN! I try to not be cross with my sister, since I know that she merely forgets to grip the shade tightly enough as she releases it, allowing the shade to slip out of her small delicate hands and zip up rapidly on its own. But it still really irks me whenever I hear the "escaped" shade flapping and fluttering around, since it means that my sister then has to meekly ask me to rewind it for her (not being mechanically-inclined, she's never been able to rewind the spring very well herself); it entails my having to laboriously remove the entire messily-bunched-up-and-unfurled shade from its mounts, carefully re-roll the fabric neatly, re-tension the shade-spring, and then re-mount the roll onto its brackets again --- yuck! What should I do?
Exasperated
Dear Exasperated,
Join the club --- I fully sympathize; nobody likes to repeatedly perform a tedious task when conceivably it could be avoided fairly easily. I suggest that you either (1) add a ring-pull to the shade so that your sister can actually hook her finger through something when she operates the shade, or (2) replace the slim flat wooden stick at the bottom of the shade with a hollow lightweight plastic/aluminum tube; this added bulky thickness will prevent the end of the shade from slipping back underneath the roll and go whizzing around until the spring runs out of steam.
---Prudie, creatively
My sister let the front window-shade go "Wheeeeee-flup-flup-flup-flup-flup-flup-flup!" this morning --- AGAIN! I try to not be cross with my sister, since I know that she merely forgets to grip the shade tightly enough as she releases it, allowing the shade to slip out of her small delicate hands and zip up rapidly on its own. But it still really irks me whenever I hear the "escaped" shade flapping and fluttering around, since it means that my sister then has to meekly ask me to rewind it for her (not being mechanically-inclined, she's never been able to rewind the spring very well herself); it entails my having to laboriously remove the entire messily-bunched-up-and-unfurled shade from its mounts, carefully re-roll the fabric neatly, re-tension the shade-spring, and then re-mount the roll onto its brackets again --- yuck! What should I do?
Exasperated
Dear Exasperated,
Join the club --- I fully sympathize; nobody likes to repeatedly perform a tedious task when conceivably it could be avoided fairly easily. I suggest that you either (1) add a ring-pull to the shade so that your sister can actually hook her finger through something when she operates the shade, or (2) replace the slim flat wooden stick at the bottom of the shade with a hollow lightweight plastic/aluminum tube; this added bulky thickness will prevent the end of the shade from slipping back underneath the roll and go whizzing around until the spring runs out of steam.
---Prudie, creatively
Wheeeeee-flup-flup-flup-flup-flup-flup-flup! by QuacksO September 16, 2018
flubbergasted
The feeling of utter bowled-over amazement that Professor Brainard's observers felt during the Prof's assorted performances and demonstrations using flubber.
Sarah Reynolds: I used to be kinda skeptical of Philip's true inventing capabilities and the actual value of all his assorted wacky inventions, but after seeing what that amazing green goo could do, I am totally flubbergasted.
flubbergasted by QuacksO September 15, 2018
scuba-diving
Where you use a straw or swizzle-stick to probe down into da big “scuba”* ice cream in yer cone to determine if da diner’s soda-jerk remembered to include yer prize at da bottom, or to check and see if there is indeed a delightful sticky-creamy chocolate-fudge center.
*Apologies to Abbot & Costello for swipin’ their joke here. :P
*Apologies to Abbot & Costello for swipin’ their joke here. :P
Redneck psychologist: I’ve found that one of the best --- and least painful/intrusive --- ways to determine if a client has obsessive-compulsive tendencies is to take him out for ice cream at a fast-food joint that offers a fun little prize down inside the cone, and then I simply observe whether my client performs a “scuba-diving” action before he finishes the ice cream.
scuba-diving by QuacksO September 15, 2018