Definitions by QuacksO
barberian
A sarcastic term for a member of a primitive-but-savvy "deep jungle" tribe of natives who save money by giving each other haircuts instead of paying a professional to do it, causing all of the "clip-joints" in the area to file for bankruptcy.
I've taken the whole "barberian" concept to a while new level --- I don't have much "brain fur" to begin with, and it's always kinda thin and stringy anyway, so each year I just use electric clippers to "buzz my head bald" when the weather-temperatures moderate in the late spring, and then over the following months my hair and beard eventually grow back sufficiently to keep me warm enough in the wintertime.
cost-cutting maneuver
A fumingly-sarcastic reference to a shamelessly "sneaky 'n' unethical" (and unfortunately very common!) "buy-pressure" strategy practiced at many hardware/specialty-supplies stores; the ploy consists of a staffperson's hacking off a length from a roll of bulk-product like rope, wire, hose, or cloth, and only **afterwards** informing the customer how much the product is priced per foot, hoping that said customer will then feel obligated to buy the piece "since it's already been cut off the roll".
I once had a totally pathetic "cost-cutting maneuver" tried on me at a bicycle-repair shop --- I needed a rear shift-cable, and so the clerk cut off my required length of cable from the store's bulk roll, without first telling me the super-steep per-foot price or asking me beforehand if I wanted to pay that much. It was only when he actually brought the "ringing up the sale" screen up on the computer that he revealed the astronomical amount that it was gonna cost me --- a whopping SEVEN DOLLARS AND CHANGE! --- for just three or four feet of the cable! Fortunately, I had the "bravery" to just look mildly shocked and hastily remark, "Eeeyewww... that's a lot more than I can afford --- thank you anyway, though. I'll just get one at WalMart instead." Hey, it wasn't MY fault if the salesman had created a harder-to-resell cut piece of cable --- I hadn't asked him to chop me off some of the cable yet, I'd just told him that I needed a replacement shifter-cable, so it wasn't my "responsibility" to now PAY for said cable! He should have told me beforehand how much it would cost per foot, and then asked me if I wanted to buy it before he'd actually hacked the length off the roll!
cost-cutting maneuver by QuacksO November 1, 2018
aFordable
Describes the cost of the base-model Tin Lizzie, if you didn't factor in the infamous "nickle 'em to death" subsequent maintenance-bills due to the shoddy quality/durability of the flivver's parts!
Disgruntled teenager: My parents offered me my choice of a birthday gift, as long as it was "aFordable", and so I'd naively interpreted that to mean that they were gonna buy me a car --- what a disappointment it was when I learned that they had merely meant that they were setting a limit of twenty-five dollars on the gift's cost!
pass and stow
Evasive maneuvers (i.e., pass the buck and stow your wealth in overseas accounts) that you must take to stay a step ahead of the law if you perform shoddy metal-casting work for Uncle Sam.
If I was in charge of having some politically-important metal-fabrication work done, I would want to perform very careful/thorough research to locate a truly-reputable foundry --- there are far too many "pass and stow" outfits out there!
pass and stow by QuacksO October 31, 2018
inhairitance
All I got in my parents' will was the family barber shop --- what a crappy-a** inhairitance! I greatly value my personal space and wish to extend da same consideration to others, so I totally detest both having my own mop trimmed AND trying to perform such tedious and claustrophobic tasks on anyone else.
inhairitance by QuacksO October 31, 2018
leaning tower of pizza
The leaning tower of pizza has been there long past the "use by" dates of the comestibles contained therein, so that's the reason that it's still there --- nobody wants to eat the pizzas because they would be stale by now.
leaning tower of pizza by QuacksO October 31, 2018