PositiveZero's definitions
When two people interlock faces such that each of their mouths is close to the other's ear. This is generally the only way to have a conversation in a crowded club or bar.
"I got the digits of this girl that was probably pretty hot. I'm not sure though, I didn't get a good look at her since we had to ear-69 to talk."
by PositiveZero June 19, 2008

To give up, or entirely avoid, trying to instruct/enlighten a person because it's likely to be too much work.
Strong Mad: ::etching DAGRON into a desk::
Strong Bad: Strong Mad? You keep on doing your thing, man.
---
Incompetent employee: I've been copying and pasting data from the database into Word in order to build this ridiculously long set of database insert statements.
Competent employee: You know there are tools you can use to do that more intelligently?
Incompetent employee: There's what I can what to what?
Competent employee: ::walks away, shakes head:: Never mind, just keep plugging along, sport.
Strong Bad: Strong Mad? You keep on doing your thing, man.
---
Incompetent employee: I've been copying and pasting data from the database into Word in order to build this ridiculously long set of database insert statements.
Competent employee: You know there are tools you can use to do that more intelligently?
Incompetent employee: There's what I can what to what?
Competent employee: ::walks away, shakes head:: Never mind, just keep plugging along, sport.
by PositiveZero June 19, 2008

One motivated by nothing but money (and maybe sex). An otherwise empty vessel that contributes next to nothing to process that he profits from.
Guy 1: The placement agent I talked to was all over the place when it came to how much money the position offered. Seems like he was just trying to placate me
Guy 2: Um, yeah. He's a headhunter, dude. In an industry of motherfucking vermin, he is the lowest of the fucking low. A bottomfeeder. Scum of the earth, man; a total greedtomaton.
Guy 2: Um, yeah. He's a headhunter, dude. In an industry of motherfucking vermin, he is the lowest of the fucking low. A bottomfeeder. Scum of the earth, man; a total greedtomaton.
by PositiveZero April 17, 2008

So the guy just picked up this clearly male squirrel, broke its neck, set it on fire, and started buttfucking it, cuz he's into homopyronecrobeastiality.
by PositiveZero November 1, 2005

Almost having sex, but having the universe dick you over in some way. Like, so close that, could you freeze-frame the moment and displace a single electron one nanometer, sex would've occurred.
Guy1: She was totally into it, but wanted to wait until the next day to do it for the first time. Then she got back together with her boyfriend the next morning.
Guy2: Shoulda sealed the deal that night.
Guy1: Yeah, I got quantum-fucked.
Guy2: Shoulda sealed the deal that night.
Guy1: Yeah, I got quantum-fucked.
by PositiveZero January 13, 2009

Spending over $100,000 in taxpayer funds to implement a shit collection of shit band-aid solutions on some existing piece of fucking shit.
Gov guy 1: "Man, I can't believe you spent a hundred bucks on that piece of shit car."
Gov guy 2: "Yeah, it's not gonna work. We better invest a few hundred K in improving it."
Gov guy 1: "You know you can get a solid, working car for $10,000, right?"
Gov guy 2: "Yeah, but then I'd have to admit that I threw away that initial hundred bucks, and I'm much too proud. So, you know, I'ma implement The Platinum Solution"
Gov guy 2: "Yeah, it's not gonna work. We better invest a few hundred K in improving it."
Gov guy 1: "You know you can get a solid, working car for $10,000, right?"
Gov guy 2: "Yeah, but then I'd have to admit that I threw away that initial hundred bucks, and I'm much too proud. So, you know, I'ma implement The Platinum Solution"
by PositiveZero April 14, 2008

That Windows Vista, man. Such abortionware.
by PositiveZero April 7, 2008
