Pleasure Boy 1, Erotic fiction author's definitions
(noun) A person, usually a girlfriend, who is dirty, slutty, and sexually uninhibited, who will do anything and everything you ask her, except she'll do this only for her boyfriend/husband. She doesn't sleep around. She's a dirty little whore, but she's your dirty little whore. She's a slut that you keep in your pocket. A pocket slut is different from a regular slut who will be a dirty little whore for anyone who asks her, with no commitment required.
"Ah, man! Cheryl let me tie her up and do anal on her last night. Damn it was hot!"
"Sweet, dude! She seems so pure and innocent around everyone else, but when you get her alone she's a total nympho whore! How do you do it?"
"She's a pocket slut. I so own her."
"Sweet, dude! She seems so pure and innocent around everyone else, but when you get her alone she's a total nympho whore! How do you do it?"
"She's a pocket slut. I so own her."
by Pleasure Boy 1, erotic fiction author February 12, 2007
Get the pocket slutmug. Like fractional sex, fictional sex is sex you make up to boost your stats (the notches on your belt in other words). Or, it can also be sex you deny ever having, out of fear of having too high of a bed count, or out of embarrassment that the person you had it with was sketchy. Basically, if you lie about whether or not you got laid, it's fictional sex.
Bob: Dude, I nailed Cassandra last night! I'm up to 22 notches on my belt already. How many you got?
Dan: Twenty-two? Yeah right! How many of those 22 are fictional sex? Probably more than half. I'd be surprised if you even nailed ten chicks.
Andrea: I heard you left the party with Bob last night. Does that mean you're up to nine different guys now?
Casandra: Shut up! Nothing happened. We just kissed a bit and I made him take me home. And I'm not up to eight yet either! I've only done like three guys. Honest.
Andrea: Yeah... sure... three guys this month. Sounds like fictional sex to me.
Dan: Twenty-two? Yeah right! How many of those 22 are fictional sex? Probably more than half. I'd be surprised if you even nailed ten chicks.
Andrea: I heard you left the party with Bob last night. Does that mean you're up to nine different guys now?
Casandra: Shut up! Nothing happened. We just kissed a bit and I made him take me home. And I'm not up to eight yet either! I've only done like three guys. Honest.
Andrea: Yeah... sure... three guys this month. Sounds like fictional sex to me.
by Pleasure Boy 1, erotic fiction author April 6, 2008
Get the Fictional Sexmug. Ejaculation for the sake of visual appeal, rather than physical appeal, usually onto one's sexual partner, and especially as part of videotaped sex. The implication is that such a visually appealing shot will generate monetary profit for the video in question that it wouldn't have otherwise had without it.
by Pleasure Boy 1, erotic fiction author December 11, 2004
Get the money shotmug. From Mitch Hedberg's comedy bit about the vending machine with an HH button. He presses H twice instead of the HH button and gets the wrong snack.
Generally, an exclamation of extreme frustration.
Specifically, an exclamation of extreme frustration when you made the wrong choice based on insufficient or faulty information, usually said of something trivial like getting the wrong snack out of a vending machine.
Generally, an exclamation of extreme frustration.
Specifically, an exclamation of extreme frustration when you made the wrong choice based on insufficient or faulty information, usually said of something trivial like getting the wrong snack out of a vending machine.
"I was gonna get a candy bar; the button I was supposed to push was HH, so I went to the side, I found the H button, I pushed it twice. Fuckin'...potato chips came out man, 'cause they had a HH button, for Christ's sakes! You need to let me know. I'm not familiar with the concept of HH. I did not learn my AA-BB-CC's. God god dammit dammit." - Mitch Hedberg
Ah, man! I ordered the deluxe platter and it turns out it's a fuckin' veggie burger and a soy-based milkshake. God God Dammit Dammit!
She told me over the internet that she was a virgin, and I was all excited, but it turns out she's also really ugly. God God Dammit Dammit!
Ah, man! I ordered the deluxe platter and it turns out it's a fuckin' veggie burger and a soy-based milkshake. God God Dammit Dammit!
She told me over the internet that she was a virgin, and I was all excited, but it turns out she's also really ugly. God God Dammit Dammit!
by Pleasure Boy 1, erotic fiction author July 7, 2008
Get the God God Dammit Dammitmug. 1. (noun) Sex with someone so easy (or ugly) that they don't even count as a full notch on your belt. Similar to Fictional Sex, sex that's either made up to boost one's numbers, or falsely denied to reduce the bed count.
2. Sex that's so lousy, it doesn't even count as a full fuck.
3. Sex that's so amazing, or so difficult to score, it counts as several notches on your belt.
2. Sex that's so lousy, it doesn't even count as a full fuck.
3. Sex that's so amazing, or so difficult to score, it counts as several notches on your belt.
1. Bob: "Man, I fucked 1/3 of a girl last night."
Dan: "What do you mean? Where was the rest of her?"
Bob: "It was fractional sex, this chick named Amy. All I had to do was buy her one drink and she was back at my place. She was so easy, it doesn't even count as a full lay."
2. Krista: "How many guys have you been with, Amy?"
Amy: "Two and a quarter?"
Krista: "Two and a quarter? How do you fuck 25% of a guy?"
Amy: "It was this guy name Dan. He was so shitty in bed, it don't even count as a full lay. He had a little dick and he only lasted two minutes."
Krista: "Ah, fractional sex. I've had a few of those. I'm up to 3.4 I think."
Amy: "3.4, huh? Sounds like fictional sex to me. You're forgetting about those two guys you did on Spring Break, and that Jerry guy, and that professor you went down on, and-"
Krista: "Shut up! You made your point."
3. Will: "Well, it took me seven months, $500 in dating expenses, and four bullshit love poems, but I finally got Destiny in bed last night. And man, it was so worth it! She blew my fucking mind! I swear that counts as ten notches on my belt right there."
Steve: "Ah yeah, fractional action, huh? Nice."
Dan: "What do you mean? Where was the rest of her?"
Bob: "It was fractional sex, this chick named Amy. All I had to do was buy her one drink and she was back at my place. She was so easy, it doesn't even count as a full lay."
2. Krista: "How many guys have you been with, Amy?"
Amy: "Two and a quarter?"
Krista: "Two and a quarter? How do you fuck 25% of a guy?"
Amy: "It was this guy name Dan. He was so shitty in bed, it don't even count as a full lay. He had a little dick and he only lasted two minutes."
Krista: "Ah, fractional sex. I've had a few of those. I'm up to 3.4 I think."
Amy: "3.4, huh? Sounds like fictional sex to me. You're forgetting about those two guys you did on Spring Break, and that Jerry guy, and that professor you went down on, and-"
Krista: "Shut up! You made your point."
3. Will: "Well, it took me seven months, $500 in dating expenses, and four bullshit love poems, but I finally got Destiny in bed last night. And man, it was so worth it! She blew my fucking mind! I swear that counts as ten notches on my belt right there."
Steve: "Ah yeah, fractional action, huh? Nice."
by Pleasure Boy 1, erotic fiction author February 20, 2007
Get the fractional sexmug. 1. "I'm gonna jump with my baby, no I don't mean maybe tonight" - Big Bad Voodoo Daddy
2. "We're heading out to the jump."
2. "We're heading out to the jump."
by Pleasure Boy 1, erotic fiction author December 13, 2004
Get the jumpmug. 1. (noun) Similar to a Pocket Slut, a selective slut, acts slutty, sexually uninhibited, and loose, but only to entice the guys she's attracted to. She'll wear tight clothes, talk and act skanky, and dance like a ho, trying to get attention, but gets offended when guys she's not interested in (ugly guys) hit on her as well. A selective slut apparently doesn't understand that her actions effect all guys, not just the ones she's interested in. When a hot guy takes notice of her, he's being "responsive to her sex appeal". When an ugly guy takes notice of her, he's a "leering pervert".
2.(verb) A girl "selective sluts" a man when she acts overtly sexual towards him, but turns off her charms as soon as someone else is watching... usually.
2.(verb) A girl "selective sluts" a man when she acts overtly sexual towards him, but turns off her charms as soon as someone else is watching... usually.
1. Phil: "I tried hitting on that girl in the red, the one with the skirt so short her panties are showing, and she told me to fuck off, all bitchy and shit. Damn!"
Craig: "Yeah. She's a selective slut that one. If you were tall dark and handsome with a flashy car, she'd be all over you."
2. Janie: "I was tryna to selective slut that hot guy from Automotive, all bending over, stretching, and moaning and shit in the break room, but fuckin' Eddie from plumbing kept coming in and interuppting!"
Danielle: "Shitty! But who cares what Eddie thinks. Just keep going next time."
Janie: "I don't want Eddie hitting on me! He's gross!"
Craig: "Yeah. She's a selective slut that one. If you were tall dark and handsome with a flashy car, she'd be all over you."
2. Janie: "I was tryna to selective slut that hot guy from Automotive, all bending over, stretching, and moaning and shit in the break room, but fuckin' Eddie from plumbing kept coming in and interuppting!"
Danielle: "Shitty! But who cares what Eddie thinks. Just keep going next time."
Janie: "I don't want Eddie hitting on me! He's gross!"
by Pleasure Boy 1, erotic fiction author February 19, 2007
Get the Selective Slutmug.