Law's Law 

A mathematical equation representing productivity (especially on all nighters). It is as following:

P = (1/C*S)(E)

Where P is productivity, C is the catchiness of the song playing, S is sleepiness, and E is energy drinks consumed in the last hour.

Bro 1: Man, I had a shitton of homework last night.
Bro 2: Did you at least get it all done?
Bro 1: Law's Law, bro.

Law's Law by MonsieurLaw December 6, 2011

Law's Theory of Chess References 

Law's Theory of Chess References has two main points.

1. After a while, in any argument, debate or discussion, there will inevitably be a reference to a chess piece, chess tactic, chess master, or something Chess like.

“Control of the patent rights will signal checkmate to their actions against us.”

“You don’t have to be a chess master to understand how this simple pyramid scheme will make us all rich. Yes a check, make it out to cash, will be quite acceptable”

“ The Wrestler considered his suplex the best part of his end-game arsenal.”

Note: It is not a Chess reference if you refer to a disreputable rapscallion, as having a ‘Checkered past”

2. In any sporting event, no more than ten minutes into the start of any contest, one or several of the sportscasters will utter some variation of "It's a chess match, with these two coaches, every time they meet in competition."

Note in the final 2 minutes of any NBA or NCAA College Basketball game, any substitution of good rebounders, good outside shooters, taller defenders, versus best free throw percentage shooters, requires that one or more sports commentators speak these words:

"Yet another substitution, Yes, it has become a chess match, " and the Color Commentator again paid homage to Law's Theory of Chess References before the 3rd quarter.

Law's Theory of Chess References by knightwithoutarmoire May 7, 2020

Augustine’s law’s 

Augustine's laws were a series of tongue in cheek aphorisms put forth by Norman Ralph Augustine, an American aerospace businessman who served as Under Secretary of the Army from 1975 to 1977. In 1984 he published his laws. The book and several of the laws were the topic of an article in Sound and Vibration magazine in March 2012. His most cited law is number 16, which shows that defense budgets grow linearly but the unit cost of a new military aircraft grows exponentially.

“In the year 2054, the entire defense budget will purchase just one tactical aircraft. This aircraft will have to be shared by the Air Force and Navy 3 days each per week except for leap year, when it will be made available to the Marines for the extra day.“ - Augustine’s law’s: XVI

Augustine’s law’s by yyuryyubicuryy4me July 14, 2018

Mother-in-law's Contracture 

When a person's lips grant a facial expression of sadness when at rest or even when expressing joy. The lips fail to reach a horizontal orientation even when the person is attempting to smile.

Husband: Your mother looks looks so pissed off right now.

Wife: Nope, she is smiling.
Husband: Yeah, but she has a huge frown; it looks like an upside down U, like the old dude in Up.
Wife: Oh, that's because hse has the mother-in-law's contracture.

Mother-in-law's Contracture by MILFwithMILcontracture January 11, 2011

Malcolm’s Law 

Very similar to Murphy’s Law or Sod’s Law, but with one important difference. Instead of “if something can go wrong it will do”, it now becomes ”with a Malcolm on the project it won’t just go wrong, but it will go wrong in the worst possible way.” See also Finagle’s Law.

“It’s a total disaster; there is no way that it could possibly have happened!”
“With that Heale Malcolm involved what did you expect? It’s Malcolm’s Law, mate.”

Malcolm’s Law by AKACroatalin August 17, 2016

Pyke's Law 

For every good event or thing that happens, something equal to or worse will counter it.

I hate Pyke's Law, I got my new drivers license, but now my grandma died.

Pyke's Law by dalek1111 July 22, 2020

harambe's law 

Harambe's Law

"You are a racist/sexist/xenophobe/homophobe/abelist" is code for "you are winning this argument, and I hate you for that."

The first person in a discussion to call someone Racist, Sexist, Xenophobic, Homophobic or another pejorative term is deemed to have automatically lost the discussion because they have admitted they have no facts or logic to support their position, and thus resort to name-calling to silence further embarrassment.

"I voted against Hillary because she is a greedy, ambitious, government drone."

"You're racist for supporting Trump!"

"Harambe's Law prevails. YOU GET NOTHING. YOU LOSE. GOOD DAY, SIR!"

harambe's law by Benny1985 November 15, 2016