Platezz's definitions

Distorted bitch

A term given to people that make completely unrealistic bitmojis on snapchat. Specifically referring to the people that make their bitmojis appear as if they are 99.9% more attractive than they are in reality. This can make many people victim after adding someone on snapchat based on their bitmojis promising looks, but lowkey you are about to start a streak with a 15 ton loch ness monster that happens to still be in junior high... Dafuq is this..

I added this girl on snapchat with a decent looking bitmoji the other day. Turns out it was an old ass gilf that was trying to smash. That distorted bitch played some disieving ass shit on me. Oh well I guess, I'm not picky we got 14 day streak rn lol!

by Platezz January 25, 2018

bona lisa

When a really bland looking chick gives you a boner for a some odd reason. At this point in your life you will really stop and think about how low your standards have become..

Me: Dude I don’t know what it is about our 80 year old librarian woman, but damn she keeps giving me a bona lisa.

Friend: I feel like you need to see a therapist my dude

by Platezz January 25, 2018

Edited hoe

Girls that overly use snapchat geofilters to the point where you don't remember if they are actually hot or not. These type of girls are normally fugly which is why they rely so much on the filters. *Posts pictures with the dog filter at least 9,000 times a week give or take..*

Friend: "Dude, checkout out this chick I've been snapchatting! She's hot af!"

me: Umm she's a total edited hoe.. If I remember right she's like 260lbs with acne..
Friend: "Son of a bitch, I already asked her out."

by Platezz January 25, 2018

shitting out a triangle

When someone is lying so much that the more shit they pull out of their ass it just makes their situation worse. The sequence of where a bad lie gets you.

"Bro, I don't want to leave this party yet, but my mom keeps asking me where I am. I'm totally shitting out a triangle right now, because i told her I am almost home. She'll kill me if she finds out.

by Platezz January 25, 2018

Narnia vagina

when a very small girl has a very large gaping vagina. It will leave you baffled as you try many different positions but you never once hit the g-spot let alone the walls surrounding. It’s like a whole new world that leaves scientists baffled about where it ends.

This young little lassie that I was hooking up with the other night had a narnia vagina. I felt like such a fool.

by Platezz January 25, 2018

Moon streakzz

The act of leaving streaks of ass sweat on chairs, desks, faces, homework, back of pants, and even on the top of coffins.

I felt so pleased with myself after leaving moon streakzz along my teacher’s desk

by Platezz January 25, 2018

Night Smear

The act of dragging your ass crack down a person's nose while they sleep. This is best after you get done working out that way you are soggy af. When they wake up they will wonder why everything smells like shit and why their nose is so sticky.

victim: Why the fuck does everything in my damn house smell like shit!
me: Someone at the party gave you a Night Smear last night after you passed out.
victim: I'm going to kill those motherfuckers!

by Platezz January 24, 2018