9 definition by Paastastic7

Top Definition
A massage boner in an uncontrollable erection you get on the massage table if anything or anyone comes even close to your junk. It's unavoidable and potentially embarrassing when this happens, especially if the massage is done by a dude.
Robin: Was so embarrassed last night.
Reg: Why ?
Robin: Man, I went for a massage and it was a dude. Couldn't help getting the hugest massage boner when he rubbed my thighs and his elbow brushed my junk. Wouldn't settle down for 10 minutes.
Reg: Did he finish it off?
Robin: Hell no.
by Paastastic7 June 13, 2013

Mug icon
Buy a massage boner mug!
It's code for large breasts. Can be used in the presence of women so they don't know what you are talking about. Or to avoid any Human Resource trouble.
Harry: Yo man,check out that chick. She's got a rich family.

Eddy: No shit. Looks like two puppies fighting in a stocking.

Harry: I'd motorboat that shit in a second.
by Paastastic7 August 14, 2014

Mug icon
Buy a rich family mug!
An overly large or long pubic hair.
Paul: Dude, did you see that red pubepunzel dangling on the side of the urinal ?

Mark: Did I ever, I tried but couldn't piss shoot it off the edge, it was to large.

Paul: Must have come from Taylor, that fucking ginger never trims his junk and I saw him go in there five minutes ago.
by Paastastic7 August 14, 2014

Mug icon
Buy a pubepunzel mug!
A Cleveland Brown is a name given to a particular type of woman who like the team has a "great uniform but bad helmet", meaning her body is fantastic but she has a face made for radio.
Todd: Man am I having a bro-lemma. This bartender at The Fainting Goat pub is the ultimate Cleveland brown. Amazing legs, rich family, great turd cutter, but when she turns around. Bam ! That face just kills me with her summer teeth and mono-brow. And trouble is she keeps on asking me to take her home. I don't know what to do.

Thomas: Just imagine how horny she is cause no one is taking her up on it. I would do it just for that.

Todd: Yeah, you may be right.
by Paastastic7 June 24, 2013

Mug icon
Buy a Cleveland brown mug!
The act of having sex with a girl for the sole reason of adding to your career total or to break a slump in your current sexual activity.
Paul: Did you pull any ladies last night from the club?

Simms: Yeah took one home. Not much of a looker. Needed an empty net goal to get my confidence back.

Or..
Simms: Yeah I potted an empty net goal. My season totals were looking sad this year and I need to pad the stats.
by Paastastic7 June 13, 2013

Mug icon
Buy a Empty net goal mug!
A deeberto is a dude who brazialinizes his name into a singular handle in order to try and impress people with his soccer skills. Usually a men's leaguer who also has the latest and hottest gear, but sadly zero game.
Calvin: He check out the new player on the Gunners, damn those are some sweet kicks he's wearing. Could be a player.

Mark: Nah, he is just some deeberto trying to play the part. Odds are he's horrible.
by Paastastic7 June 13, 2013

Mug icon
Buy a deeberto mug!
This is a signature move at a special or dirty massage parlor during your last 5 minutes the masseuse will perform a drive-by; meaning gently brush your junk a few times with the back of her hand as she massages your legs. This causing a massage boner. She then asks " Would like me to finish that off for you?" Of course then the extra fee negotiation begins as no man can resist once the boy is at full attention.
Bryan: Holy shi*t. Went to this massage place last night and the chick gave me sweet drive-by. I was pointing true north after that.

Dwayne: Well did she finish it off?

Bryan: Yeah she did, for an extra 15 bucks.
by Paastastic7 June 13, 2013

Mug icon
Buy a drive-by mug!