Definitions by Nutzen YerMouf
Mississippi brown hole
Secret gay anal sex between a prominent politician or religious leader who publicly opposes homosexuality
Pastor Mark gave a huge speech about the horrors of homosexuality. Later that day he was caught giving the Mississippi brown hole to a gay prostitute.
Mississippi brown hole by Nutzen YerMouf May 12, 2018
telenasus
Origin: Latin nasus, nose
adjective: telenasic
The psychic ability to smell something without being physically present to smell it.
adjective: telenasic
The psychic ability to smell something without being physically present to smell it.
1) Frank had the telenasus ability. He could watch a porn on his computer, focus intently on the woman's vagina, and use his telenasic ability to smell the vagina. He loved it most of the time, but sometimes the woman in the porn was not so fresh smelling or he would catch a whiff of penis or anus.
2) Johnny hated having telenasus. Someone on the other side of his office could fart and he would be able to smell it. When watched TV he has to put nose plugs because whenever the actors would be in an area that stank, Johnny could smell it. Every dumpster, every rank body that hadn't showered and spent all day under hot lights, all of it. He knows which actors don't brush their teeth and which ones need to wash their balls more. It was a curse.
2) Johnny hated having telenasus. Someone on the other side of his office could fart and he would be able to smell it. When watched TV he has to put nose plugs because whenever the actors would be in an area that stank, Johnny could smell it. Every dumpster, every rank body that hadn't showered and spent all day under hot lights, all of it. He knows which actors don't brush their teeth and which ones need to wash their balls more. It was a curse.
telenasus by Nutzen YerMouf May 10, 2018
fascist cum bucket
fascist cum bucket by Nutzen YerMouf May 10, 2018
office chimp
The fat stupid guy at work that sucks up to the boss, spouts simplistic platitudes, and thinks he is more experienced because he has worked there 20 years but you always seem to be fixing his fuck ups.
The office chimp at work came over to help me. I just wanted him to get away from me because he annoys me and he fucks things up all the time.
"There's no 'I' in team, that's what I always say." The office chimp stated.
Just to be a dick to him and hopefully drive him away, I brought up Maureen's promotion that he was hoping to get.
"It's okay, good things come to those who wait. I will get it next time." The office chimp replied.
Jesus fucking Christ, I thought to myself. Would you just go the fuck away.
Our boss walked by, and the office chimp stopped what he was doing and fucked up the order of my documents in the process.
"How are you doing today Frank?" the office chimp said overly cheerful.
Frank answered, "Good, glad to see you helping out over here."
"Got to teach these young guys, I have been here 20 years and they can learn a lot from me. Of course the people are our most important asset too! We wouldn't be anywhere without them and we need to step in and show we appreciate them." the fucking moron office chimp said.
"There's no 'I' in team, that's what I always say." The office chimp stated.
Just to be a dick to him and hopefully drive him away, I brought up Maureen's promotion that he was hoping to get.
"It's okay, good things come to those who wait. I will get it next time." The office chimp replied.
Jesus fucking Christ, I thought to myself. Would you just go the fuck away.
Our boss walked by, and the office chimp stopped what he was doing and fucked up the order of my documents in the process.
"How are you doing today Frank?" the office chimp said overly cheerful.
Frank answered, "Good, glad to see you helping out over here."
"Got to teach these young guys, I have been here 20 years and they can learn a lot from me. Of course the people are our most important asset too! We wouldn't be anywhere without them and we need to step in and show we appreciate them." the fucking moron office chimp said.
office chimp by Nutzen YerMouf May 9, 2018
agile methodology
No one has a clue what this means. Companies use the term to make themselves look organized and modern, employees use it because companies do. Many companies who claim to use agile actually use the waterfall approach and do not know the difference.
Interviewer asked, "Have you ever used the agile methodology?"
Job candidate replied, "Yes of course."
Interviewer responds, "Good! I think I have all I need."
-------------10 minutes later------------------------
Interviewer speaking to co-worker, "He actually knows what agile methodology is! We need to hire him!"
co-worker responded, "What the fuck is agile?"
"I don't have a fucking clue so we need this guy"
Job candidate replied, "Yes of course."
Interviewer responds, "Good! I think I have all I need."
-------------10 minutes later------------------------
Interviewer speaking to co-worker, "He actually knows what agile methodology is! We need to hire him!"
co-worker responded, "What the fuck is agile?"
"I don't have a fucking clue so we need this guy"
agile methodology by Nutzen YerMouf May 9, 2018
scrum methodology
An agile methodology primarily used for software application development related projects where you talk more about what you are going to do and spend less time actually doing it.
"Do we really need to have these update meetings every 2 hours? You want to know what I did for the past two hours, I was in other meetings, just like the two hours prior. I haven't wrote jack shit for code, but I am really getting sick of hearing Brenda say, 'Can you see my screen now?'"
Project manager responds, "We practice Scrum methodology here. If you don't like it go to Diane's team, they use Crystal Methods"
Stoned application developer responds, "Crystal Meth? Where is Diane's team?"
Project manager responds, "We practice Scrum methodology here. If you don't like it go to Diane's team, they use Crystal Methods"
Stoned application developer responds, "Crystal Meth? Where is Diane's team?"
scrum methodology by Nutzen YerMouf May 9, 2018