Minotaurectomy

Procedure to remove a man's bullheaded virility, performed by a female, using a few choice words.

Seeing him snort and paw the ground, while angling his horns in her direction, she was planning tonight's minotaurectomy, which would preferably be non-surgical, but hey.

by Monkey's Dad January 05, 2020

from my cold, dead heart

Proposed National Rifle Association slogan.

Faced with the staggering number of American school children and other innocent victims killed by unstable men with military-style assault rifles, reassured yet again that background checks and licensing would not in any way threaten his right to gun ownership, that no one proposed to take away his firearms, he planted his feet, growling his modified NRA non-sequitur, "I'll give up my gun when they pry it from my cold, dead heart."

by Monkey's Dad April 01, 2021

Permababy

A creature, human or otherwise, who retains the characteristics of an infant, no matter how long they have lived.

Yes, we know she looks like a puppy, but she's thirteen - a Permababy.

by Monkey's Dad December 23, 2019

woemanizer

A man who tries to overcome his sorrow and grief with an unending string of women.

Everyone judged him for the number of women who came into and out of his life. It felt to be the only way he could banish his unremitting woe, from losses and pain he could never share. He was a woemanizer, and he alone understood why.

by Monkey's Dad October 03, 2021

Satan Nicholas

Saint Nicholas' sinister colleague, whose task is to deliver appropriate gifts to the less-than-good girls and boys on Christmas eve.

He awakened to the sound of a Harley landing on the roof - right on time - and man, had he prepared his list in hopes of a visit from Satan Nicholas. In an hour he'd run downstairs and find a Chucky doll, gift certificates to Tattoos-R-Us, the Vape store, and Murder-and-Mayhem Video Games. It pays to be bad, he mused. And next year he'd be worse.

by Monkey's Dad December 05, 2023

A.I.2 Artificial Ignorance

The black sheep sibling of Artificial Intelligence, promiscuously spreading misinformation and calumny which can never be corrected, denied or retrieved, set in digital stone.

Although Jack was happily attached and leading a blameless life, he awakened one morning to the news that he was on Tinder, listed with a gender identity and sexual preference he had never actually heard of, was the target of several concurrently pending lawsuits, had been arrested for bestiality at the age of twelve, failed in his fifth attempt at getting a GED, declared bankruptcy twice, and, perhaps the greatest insult, had appended to his profile an unflattering photo of someone else with his exact name. All of this was out there forever. Forever, and it was sure to spread. There was no one to complain to. Nobody. Welcome to the age of A.I.2 Artificial Ignorance.

by Monkey's Dad September 12, 2023

Psychlorama

A large pictorial representation of a sufferer's inner life, encircling the patient and often having real objects - ie; other people, as a foreground.

No matter how clearly her shrink explained that it was only a Psychlorama, the patient increasingly believed that what she was seeing was the actual world.

by Monkey's Dad October 16, 2019