An exceedingly rare quality, possessed by very few women, illuminated from within. Most of the world's celebrated beauties do not have it and cannot acquire it, as shown by their age-driven pursuit of cosmetic surgery, and the tragically self-erasing results. For a woman so blessed, it is simply a gift, immune to the passage of time.
She appeared to be ageless, radiant with transcendent beauty. Wherever they found themselves, she was the most beautiful woman in the room, not by degree but entirely in a class of her own. Strangers, both men and women, stared, sometimes approaching to comment. It was more than her exquisite proportions and facial symmetry. Paired with those things, it came from an inner quality of goodness. The man beside her was sometimes told that he was transcendentally lucky, which he knew to be true.
by Monkey's Dad December 05, 2023
A person who lies awake worrying about all the maladies, disorders and syndromes they may have, present and future.
The messages flooded in at bedtime, from her brother, her cousin - who was a doctor, mind you - studies and statistics forwarded by so many well-intentioned friends, warning of sicknesses which awaited her, if she didn't already have symptoms, which she suddenly realized she probably did have, recommendations for pills, and more pills, changes in diet, which, omg, she vowed to try, promising another sleepless night as a hypoinsomnichondriac.
by Monkey's Dad April 19, 2020
I can't wait for you to grow up
An acronym, conveying that the affectionate sender has long ago abandoned any hope that the recipient will ever grow up.
An acronym, conveying that the affectionate sender has long ago abandoned any hope that the recipient will ever grow up.
Again, her birthday, and again... turning twelve. What could he say? With steady fingers he texted "icwfytgu", secure in their shared understanding that she would remain twelve for the coming year, and for those to follow.
by Monkey's Dad June 22, 2021
Soup Nazis.
According to WWII scholar and Holocaust historian Marjorie Taylor Greene, the Gazpacho Police are now roaming the halls of Congress.
According to WWII scholar and Holocaust historian Marjorie Taylor Greene, the Gazpacho Police are now roaming the halls of Congress.
"Nancy Pelosi's Gazpacho Police, spying on members of Congress..." complained Greene. A person of her erudition could not possibly have been confusing cold vegetable soup with the Gestapo, Hitler's secret force, tasked with sending people to the concentration camps.
by Monkey's Dad February 10, 2022
1) A new word, entered here, meaning the opposite of "negate". A positive counter to "negate's" negative. To gate is to affirm, verify, support, confirm, validate, agree.
Also...
2) A hinged barrier used to close an aperture in a wall, fence, or hedge.
3) A suffix denoting any kind of scandal, real or imagined - "Pizzagate" - following the 1972 Nixonian Watergate imbroglio, itself named for a Washington Hotel.
Also...
2) A hinged barrier used to close an aperture in a wall, fence, or hedge.
3) A suffix denoting any kind of scandal, real or imagined - "Pizzagate" - following the 1972 Nixonian Watergate imbroglio, itself named for a Washington Hotel.
She entered the courtroom, confident that the DNA evidence, supported by eyewitness testimony, would gate her client's claim of innocence.
by Monkey's Dad March 28, 2021
She refused to be vaccinated, certain that Bill Gates had engineered the whole pandemic to take over the world. The shot would implant a microchip in her brain. Bill Gates would know where she was at all times, what she bought, the websites she visited, what songs she liked. She had learned this from her i-phone, which was always on, always in her hand. She was a certifiable vaccadoodle and if she perished from Covid, at least Gates would never know.
by Monkey's Dad February 15, 2021
The historic root of human dysfunction. The sense that each of us belongs to a group - or tribe - from which we derive our idea of who we are, what we call ourselves, what we believe, whom else is a member and who is excluded.
Whether rooting for a sports team or voting along party lines, we divide ourselves into 'us' and 'them', as humans have done for millennia. It leads us to war. At a minimum we endure a chronic state of para-warfare.
He could not fathom how she had voted for Biden! She in turn looked with speechless amazement at his mindless devotion to ... she could not bring herself to utter that reviled name! Neither could ever change the other's mind by an inch. They were exemplars of tribal identity, each believing their side was right, the other side wrong, the finding of middle ground a fantasy for Springsteen/Jeep commercials during the Super Bowl - itself a tribal enactment - and nothing more.
He could not fathom how she had voted for Biden! She in turn looked with speechless amazement at his mindless devotion to ... she could not bring herself to utter that reviled name! Neither could ever change the other's mind by an inch. They were exemplars of tribal identity, each believing their side was right, the other side wrong, the finding of middle ground a fantasy for Springsteen/Jeep commercials during the Super Bowl - itself a tribal enactment - and nothing more.
by Monkey's Dad July 27, 2021