Monkey's Dad's definitions

Nasal Flasher

A sexual deviant who derives pleasure from exposing his or her nostrils in public, wearing a mask over their mouth but under their nose.

As with other bodily orifices, it is presently taboo to expose one's nostrils in public. So naturally there is a new breed of Nasal Flasher, making eye contact with strangers while in this way semi-naked. Not to be confused with the millions who do not understand that the nose and mouth are connected, and walk around with their own nostrils exposed.

by Monkey's Dad March 29, 2021

SickaDoodles

The ultimate and final-straw mixed breed dog.

"Oh, what aDORable puppies!"

"Aren't they?! We got them from the world's only breeder, in Baise-mon-Cul, Quebec. Twelve year waiting list, and you don't want to know what they cost. But. These dogs rank number one in temperament, intelligence, musical aptitude and table manners, superior to every other breed recognized by the AKC. Superb with kids, cats and tout les chien avec d'argent."

"That's so charming! And they're... no, please, let me guess. Umm... SickaDoodles! Am I right?! Totally SickaDoodles."

by Monkey's Dad October 1, 2023

simultaneous snoregasm

Profoundly peaceful sleep shared by a couple after lovemaking.

Feeling what he knew would be her final orgasm of the night, he joined her, in perfect sync, and they fell into a state of simultaneous snoregasm, neither of them stirring until sunrise.

by Monkey's Dad February 27, 2020

Toxitocin

Oxytocin's evil twin, a hormone and neurotransmitter released into the bloodstream, producing violently unpleasant sensations, in response to certain stimuli.

She realized that for the first time in five years her mind and body were at ease. Biden was president. Covid vaccinations were available, stimulus checks were in the mail, which no longer took weeks to arrive. The trump-era infusions of corrosive Toxitocin which, at the sound... the very mention!... of the t-word, of that bluntly pugilistic name, the whine of that little voice! the sight of that absurd hairdo! had surged and coursed through her veins and synapses, was ebbing away. It was over. She felt almost alive again.

by Monkey's Dad March 14, 2021

ingraptitude

A talent or propensity to be ungrateful.

She had finally had enough of his ingraptitude, deciding that the next time he woke her at 2:30, from a sound sleep, he would be set free to find out just how many women wanted to 'take care of' him at that hour.

by Monkey's Dad March 2, 2020

The Halls of Epidemia

Classes on Zoom.

Higher education from home.

As she logged in to her Tuesday morning creative writing seminar, she looked around at the Halls of Epidemia, which looked almost exactly like her bedroom.

by Monkey's Dad April 6, 2020

coronaviral

Something which spreads at unprecedented speed.

The swift lockdown of the planet was coronaviral.

by Monkey's Dad March 17, 2020