Social-distance Drinker

Someone who only drinks alone.
For years he had only drunk in company, politely, and certainly had never taken a drink by himself, one of the warning signs of alcoholism, or so he had read. Now though... now it was different. Alone all day and night in his apartment, evening couldn't come fast enough as he looked forward to his first glass of wine, and his fourth, a social-distance drinker for the new era.
by Monkey's Dad April 03, 2020
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hand-to-hand wombat

When two women attempt to claw the other's eyes out, settling instead for the slapping of faces and pulling of hair, usually over a perceived insult or stolen man; typically confined to any TV show designed to condescend to women and thus reap huge ratings.
The words "bitch" and "whore" were screamed, soon followed by the inevitable hand-to-hand wombat.
by Monkey's Dad April 09, 2021
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formerly-known-as

Your X - or ex - with a nod to the convolutions of Twitter.
"Check out the babe."
"No need. ... She's my formerly-known-as"
"Sorry."
by Monkey's Dad November 02, 2023
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till further notice

A comprehensive state of suspension, with the world in the grip of coronavirus.
He accepted that he would go nowhere and see nobody till further notice. There was only uncertainty, and nothing to do but wait.
by Monkey's Dad March 25, 2020
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WAINS

Acronym for - why am I not surprised?
Yeah yeah, Jenna and Stephanie hooked up after the party. WAINS
by Monkey's Dad June 01, 2021
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9 minutes of silence

Observed by many, across America, to honor the life of George Floyd, murdered by asphyxiation.
In the sunlight of a spring afternoon, they stood together, side by side, and held a vigil - 9 minutes of silence - the time that George Floyd was pinned to the street and asphyxiated by the kneeling weight of a Minneapolis cop.
by Monkey's Dad June 02, 2020
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flattering the curve

A presidential projection, meant to flatter himself while flattening the curve, without basis in medical fact.
With his Sharpie he drew a limp line, flattering the curve of new infections.
by Monkey's Dad March 24, 2020
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