Cabin Footprint

The amount of carbon dioxide - essentially zero - emitted due to the consumption of fossil fuels by a person in the grip of Cabin Fever, staying at home during the pandemic.

She wasn't flying. She wasn't driving. She wasn't even walking, except to pace her apartment in a state of cabin fever. She figured she could at least be proud of her tiny cabin footprint.

by Monkey's Dad April 06, 2020

trashionalization

Justifying the crushing of someone else's point of view, feelings, work or beliefs.

His trashionalization for demolishing her argument was easy. Family separation at the border was inhumane, and everyone else at the table knew it.

by Monkey's Dad March 07, 2020

Kardashed expectations

Disappointment when the real world of 2020 does not keep up with the Kardashians.

Would like, Kim, Kourtney, Khloe, Kris, Kylie and Kendall ever, like, accept being canceled? It was rigged, fraudulent, they weren't leaving, and someone was gonna pay for her Kardashed expectations.

by Monkey's Dad September 09, 2020

irrationalize

To explain behavior or attitude with illogical, implausible reasons.

"Because my closest friends will be there", she said, "everyone I most like spending time with", explaining why she refused to go to the party. He could counter any reasonable explanation with facts, but hearing her irrationalize, he became flummoxed and just gave in.

by Monkey's Dad March 15, 2020

vaccutemporal

An experience of life without time. The absence of a temporal dimension. An extension of simultemporal experience, in which past, present and future are equidistant and simultaneous.

Having grown accustomed to simultemporal experience - living time all at once, rather than sequentially - he was increasingly forced to acknowledge states which were vaccutemporal, wherein the sense of time in any form dissolved.

by Monkey's Dad August 07, 2021

appearances matter

A wistful notion from the recent-yet-distant time when people saw each other.

Glancing into her closet, filled with lovingly-chosen clothing she no longer wore, slipping on her plastic coat, her mask and rubber gloves to go 'shopping', she recalled what her mother had taught her when she was young, that appearances matter, and wondered when it would be true again.

by Monkey's Dad May 14, 2020

long distance relationslump

The toll on a couple normally kept apart by distance, now further separated by travel restrictions.

Their New York-L.A. thing had felt dynamic, sharing best-of-both with alternating weeks. After months of facetime but no actual faces, and no actual bodies, they were in a long distance relationslump.

by Monkey's Dad April 17, 2020