Merchant's definitions

donkey porker

Someone who repeatedly has sexual intercourse with a donkey. Or a synonym for dumbass, moron, retard, asshole, jerk, or bastard.

"What a donkey porker you are, Hanley!"

by Merchant August 31, 2005

Blue

An alien much like the Greys (aka Zeta Reticulins) who usually accompanies Greys on their abductions and have blue skin as apposed to Reticulins' gray skin, have round black eyes as apposed to sideways seed-shaped, and usually wear burlap-like cloaks.

"Strieber describes, with out actually using the term Blue, what the Blues look like and he claims they smell like plain cinnamon and wet cardboard"

by Merchant August 31, 2005

Parisian Whore

An insulting term partaining to French-speaking women. Particularly ones from Paris but also can relate to all French speaking women.

"Look at that discusting moustached Parisian Whore over there, OH JESUS!! It's looking this way! RUN!!!!!!!"

by Merchant August 31, 2005

Reticulin

Also known as a Grey, these aliens have large upsidedown-seed shaped heads, black slanted seed-shaped eyes, tiny slits for mouths, usually no nose or nostrils, tend to be about three and a half feet tall, communicate through telepathy, and tend to reportedly smell like plain cinnamon and wet cardboard. They are called Reticulins because they supposedly come from the Zeta Reticuli star systems.

The Reticulin seemed to move slowly so the Sarge took his chances and cracked a heavy baseball bat over its head, snapping its neck and crushing its skull.

by Merchant August 31, 2005

Shabalakhan

Shabalakhan is what Rolf on Ed, Edd, and Eddy yelled when jumping to attack Eddy with a shoe when he thought he was a giant insect in his basement.

"What is it?" "It's so gross!" "Knarely!" "Rolf will get the ravenous creature, SHABALAKHAN!"

by Merchant August 31, 2005

Schwartz

A penis-powered version of the famed nerd's-holy-grail, the light saber. Yes this penis-powered light saber was used in the film Space Balls. (title has nothing to do with penises, or so I think)

"Ah ha! I see your schwartz is as long as mine!"

by Merchant August 31, 2005

UMP

A 9mmparabellum and .45ACP caliber submachinegun manufactured by Heckler & Koch, Germany. Also the sound Ted Kennedy makes if you knee him in the scrotum.

THWACK! "UMP!" Bingo!

by Merchant August 31, 2005