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Malcolm X-crement's definitions

Kegel

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An alternate term for bowling- according to the noted linguistic expert, Fred Flintstone.
Hey Barn, care to go kegeling?
by Malcolm X-crement October 17, 2006
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fart

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1. Noun: A flatus, expelled through the anus.
2: Verb: The act of expelling flatuses through the anus, usually fouling the surrounding air with a strong objectionable stench while producing a commical noise.
3: A contemptable or stupid person.
1. That fart that I just cut really smells good!
2. Open the window, I have to fart!
3. Mr. Crustybaum is such an old fart!
by Malcolm X-crement October 15, 2006
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nip

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verb. To partake of an alcoholic beverage.

2. verb. To cut off something- especially so as to prevent further growth.

3. A Jap.
Time for a little nip from the bottle!

2. I'm gonna nip it in the bud!

3. I'm watching the banned Bugs Bunny episode called Nip The Nip.
by Malcolm X-crement April 9, 2006
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phuc ewe

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1: An alternate way of spelling "go screw yourself".

2: A good screen name for internet forums and junk email accounts.

3: What author Kim Phuc got after mating with a ram.
1: Telemarketer: "Hello, I'm calling...." Joe Sixpack: "Phuc Ewe! click....Bzzzzzz...."

2: Timmys' mom: "Timmy, who are you writing to on the computer?" Timmy: "Phuc Ewe, Mom."

3: "Me so horny...me love sheep long time....oh..look...me have little baby, Phuc Ewe and her twin sister, Phuc Ewe 2."
by Malcolm X-crement February 1, 2004
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Wal-mart

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1. Place where 90% of my wardrobe comes from.

2. Store where annoying music and LOUD commercials are blared over loudspeakers, in a curteous attempt to drive shoppers from the store in disgust, before they spend too much money.

3.Store that has merchandise of often decent quality at the lowest prices, now- but just until it has driven all competition out of business....then watch the prices rise!

4. Provider of jobs for people who are too stupid and too lazy to be engaged in meaningful employment. (I once encountered a clerk who was unable to deduct ten-percent from a price in her head!)

5. Store where you can buy cooking utensils- then become hungry and walk to McDonalds without going outside, then walk to the pharmacy, for medicine to relieve the diarrhea caused by the McDonalds.
I need to update my wardrobe- to Wal*Mart!
by Malcolm X-crement January 18, 2004
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Perfect Woman

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Creature, much like Santa Claus, The Easter Bunny, Sasquatch and the Good Nigger- often spoken of, but one has never actually been seen by a reputable witness.
I met the perfect woman last night, just before I sailed my yacht back to my mansion.....yeah...that's the ticket!
by Malcolm X-crement January 5, 2004
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A brand of commercial washing machine, known for their reliability and durability.
Lets go to the coin-op laundry and use the Norge!
by Malcolm X-crement January 5, 2004
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