An old people's home. So named because they go in all healthy and plump, and come out all dried and shrivelled, in a box.
"Mum and Dad sent Nana off to the raisin factory. It's called a Retirement Village. It's where you retire from having a life"
by MagickDio March 14, 2010
Comes from the way pissed up folk say "best friend." To be a "bessfriend" for any length of time is incredibly unfortunate. You attain this dreaded status by having a drunken person latch onto you and tell you all their problems, cry on your shoulder and generally kill your groove. Several times, through hiccups and sobs about ex partners, you will hear the words "You're like my bessfriend, you are." Note- you don't even have to really KNOW this person to be their bessfriend for the night.
The worst bessfriend situations occur when they are members of the opposite sex. You either get cock blocked or pussy locked all night by the weepy eyed, wretched looking individual clinging desperately to your wrist.
The worst bessfriend situations occur when they are members of the opposite sex. You either get cock blocked or pussy locked all night by the weepy eyed, wretched looking individual clinging desperately to your wrist.
"Why didn't you come to the club last night? We all wondered where you got to. Did you go home?"
"No such luck. Some mental bitch in Yates's decided to make me her "bessfriend" for the night, and I just could NOT shake her!"
"No such luck. Some mental bitch in Yates's decided to make me her "bessfriend" for the night, and I just could NOT shake her!"
by MagickDio April 24, 2010
When a situation is more than just fucked, more than plain old dreadful, and you can't talk your way out of it, it's fierce wretched. Hella bad.
"My mum cam home early today and caught me and my brother fucking our boyfriends."
"Seriously?? That's fierce wretched"
"Seriously?? That's fierce wretched"
by MagickDio May 14, 2010
A striped, many legged demon that usually resides in a Christmas tree and judges all who pass it by. Capable of delivering a harsh mind blow to those who do not believe in it. Your safety depends on respect for the Fnorg.
by MagickDio February 06, 2010
The person we all know who practically pants with lust when they're waiting to cross the road because someone drove by in a very fast car.
They like to talk about cars, buy magazines about cars and watch cars on eBay that they have no intention of buying, just to see how much it goes for. They normally have at least one poster of a car in their home, and will regularly show you a picture or YouTube clip of the car they dream of owning one day. They scoff at the speed limit, have at least three points on their driving license and watch Formula One as if it's actually interesting.
These people are awful. Jeremy Clarkson is an example of a famous automophile.
They like to talk about cars, buy magazines about cars and watch cars on eBay that they have no intention of buying, just to see how much it goes for. They normally have at least one poster of a car in their home, and will regularly show you a picture or YouTube clip of the car they dream of owning one day. They scoff at the speed limit, have at least three points on their driving license and watch Formula One as if it's actually interesting.
These people are awful. Jeremy Clarkson is an example of a famous automophile.
by MagickDio July 12, 2011
1)A situation where all was not well, sexually. This can apply to a dry spell or a sex session that went totally wrong
2) An individual who either never gets laid, or is appalling at it.
2) An individual who either never gets laid, or is appalling at it.
1) "I didn't pull last night, AGAIN. I'm going through a really unfucktionate time of late"
"Laura puked when she tried deep throating me. That was unfucktionate.
2) "That creepy guy who lives with his parents and wears white knee socks is so unfucktionate"
"So I finally went to bed with Steve, only to find out that the dude is crazily unfucktionate"
"Laura puked when she tried deep throating me. That was unfucktionate.
2) "That creepy guy who lives with his parents and wears white knee socks is so unfucktionate"
"So I finally went to bed with Steve, only to find out that the dude is crazily unfucktionate"
by MagickDio February 05, 2010
1) A list of people you want to shag
2)A list of sexual acts, each of which has a number of "points" attached to it. This is usually a list drawn up with a group of mates, and a competition ensues to see who can get the highest score. It's not usually a list of delightful acts to blissfully orgasm your way through, it's designed to be more of a test of endurance. For example, rimming someone over 2 and a half times your age would gain you 200 points, whereas performing full oral servicing on someone 2 and a half times your weight would net you 1000. There's usually a trophy act which involves all holes and someone smokin' hot but it's infinitely easier to nail the god awful stuff.
2)A list of sexual acts, each of which has a number of "points" attached to it. This is usually a list drawn up with a group of mates, and a competition ensues to see who can get the highest score. It's not usually a list of delightful acts to blissfully orgasm your way through, it's designed to be more of a test of endurance. For example, rimming someone over 2 and a half times your age would gain you 200 points, whereas performing full oral servicing on someone 2 and a half times your weight would net you 1000. There's usually a trophy act which involves all holes and someone smokin' hot but it's infinitely easier to nail the god awful stuff.
1) I just added Michael to my hit list, he's delicious.
2)K~ "Ok, I rimmed the 56 year old bloke. Chalk up my 200"
D~ "I made that weird kid cum in his trousers at the bar, which is 100, and tossed that footballer off under the table , which is another 150, so that's 250 for me!"
T~"Well, I gave that 30 stone woman full oral servicing, so I need 1000 points and some kind of super strength mouthwash"
2)K~ "Ok, I rimmed the 56 year old bloke. Chalk up my 200"
D~ "I made that weird kid cum in his trousers at the bar, which is 100, and tossed that footballer off under the table , which is another 150, so that's 250 for me!"
T~"Well, I gave that 30 stone woman full oral servicing, so I need 1000 points and some kind of super strength mouthwash"
by MagickDio April 27, 2010