95 definitions by MagickDio

Those odd pinpricks of sparkling light that fill your vision before you pass out, and linger in your sights for at least 10 minutes after you've come round.

The person we all know who practically pants with lust when they're waiting to cross the road because someone drove by in a very fast car.

They like to talk about cars, buy magazines about cars and watch cars on eBay that they have no intention of buying, just to see how much it goes for. They normally have at least one poster of a car in their home, and will regularly show you a picture or YouTube clip of the car they dream of owning one day. They scoff at the speed limit, have at least three points on their driving license and watch Formula One as if it's actually interesting.

These people are awful. Jeremy Clarkson is an example of a famous automophile.

1) Girls who indulge in girl on girl action when surrounded by girls only. Despite being hetero, they get their jollies the gay way, rather than have no action at all. Common in students at all girls boarding schools.

2) A girl who announces she's gay when being chatted up by a bloke she finds repellent.

3) The heterosexual emo females, who believe that gayness=coolness and therefore have all been gay/are currently gay/will be gay very soon but will embrace their genuine sexuality when that is in fashion.

There comes a point in an argument where your opponent runs out of logical material to use against you, yet refuses to conceed. This is the moment you enter Crazy Time. Men will recognise it as the part where women start yelling, through furious tears, about things that happened years previously, and putting a whole new spin on them, then telling the man exactly what he meant by what he said. Except it's rarely anything anyone would ever mean, or even think. Women will know it's Crazy Time when men start saying things like "I'm ending this argument right now!" and then continue bellowing about how it cannot be allowed to go on, and arguing over why it needs to be finished. Men can never finish an argument. They can only halt it "for now". The very same argument will be referenced and recommenced during the next period of Crazy Time.

To be in "cock mode" is when men decide to give their brains a rest and let their penises take over. Cock mode is not a sensible way to operate on a night out. It will lead the unfortunate male into a diseased or unattractive female.

A guy ceases to run in cock mode within 3 minutes of ejaculating- usually when cognitive thought returns and the hideous beast they have just lain with comes into full focus.

Cock mode can be a good thing if you're in a long term relationship with a girl who does your head in. Switch off your brain and let your penis listen to the inane chatter instead, and then secure a nice orgasm for you. Sorted.

An orgasm which is given out of an uncomfortable sense of duty; much like parting with small change when confronted with a bucket shaking Salvation Army worker. You don't want to give it, but you'll be made to feel a total shit if you don't.

Here is a typical example of a circumstance that requires such a donation. Your partner has been moaning all the livelong day about their appearance. Words like "obese", "disgusting", "hideous" and "gross" have been used so often and so emphatically that, despite yourself, you genuinely begin to agree. Then the obligatory "You're so gorgeous, I can't keep my hands off you" sex that was meant to assure them they're hot has become an act of charity, with you performing deeds that you would rather not share with someone who has half convinced you they're a troll.

Male camel toe. When the seam of the trousers rides up and digs into the scrotum, seperating the testicles so that one is on each side of the offending seam. Thus creating a visual display that is reminiscent of a chipmunk with its cheeks stuffed with food, but not in the slightest bit cute. When it happens suddenly, it is accompanied by an instant look of discomfort and the need to slope off and rearrange ones giblets.