Albino

Human or animal lacking in melanin, causing them to have literally white skin (or fur), pink eyes and poor vision. I don't know much about them, but my sister and I are really afraid of them. I had a supervisor who was half-albino and he scared the crap outta me. One time this albino guy stared at me and it freaked me out. It's still scary to think about.

Once I was walking up the street and saw an albino standing outside of a store. I got super scared and crossed the street. As I passed him from across the street, I snuck a look at him. He was really a manniquin who was moving around from the wind outside,a very human-looking manniquin. I feel like a damn fool, but I still won't go into that store. My apology to any albino who's reading this.

by MadamexXx March 18, 2009

Vortex of Shit

First you lose your job, then become homeless, come to find out your wife had someone else's baby. Kind of like a country song, but you can't help but wonder why you have such bad karma: Vortex of Shit.

I knew I was in a vortex of shit when my mother in law came to live with us.

by MadamexXx March 03, 2009

Private Dick

A man with E.D. who doesn't warn you or a man with a small penis who doesn't warn you. Warning you right before the act doesn't count. A premature ejaculator. A man who is a disappointment in bed. You want to warn everybody, but then he'll spread rumors about you being an easy lay. It's easy to spot these guys beforehand. They like to make fun of other guys and try to make you jealous. Learn from my mistakes and watch for signs beforehand.

I thought Gary was the man of my dreams, but he turned out to be a Private Dick.
After I slept with Henry, he bragged to everyone, so I was sure to let them all know he was a Private Dick.
Tim was small and a premature ejaculator. What a Private Dick!

by MadamexXx February 24, 2009

Is it a man or is it a woman?

A person whose gender is so indeterminate that you can make a game out of it with you and your friends guessing.

Androgenous person walks by...
Me: "Hey, is it a man or is it a woman? I can't tell.."
Friend: "I see boobies!"
Me: "You win."

by MadamexXx February 16, 2009

Birth Control Shirt

This is a shirt my first husband got second hand and I could tell why. As soon as he put that shirt on, it looked so bad that I was forced to shut my eyes because it was emotionally traumatizing to look at it. The combination of print, pattern and color produced such a cataclysm of visual assault that I needed six months of therapy to deal with it. It is the equivalent of seeing your loved one wearing a Jason from Halloween mask, which is almost as scary.

When my husband wore the birth control shirt, I knew that there would be no chance of him cheating on me. I was surprised it didn't render him sterile. It was one ugly-ass unflattering shirt. I threw it away and he divorced me anyway.

by MadamexXx March 13, 2009

Sand Trap

A place inconducive to upgrading your life.
A place you grow up, but can't seem to leave, irregardless that your life is going nowhere.

I had to get out of Manteca, CA because it's a sand trap.

by MadamexXx March 03, 2009

Jive Turkey

Someone who exaggerates to the point where it's over the top and they are way full of shit. This person hasn't learned the meaning of overkill when it comes to building themself up or buttering someone else up. This is often a child who is trying to flatter an adult with sophomoric compliments. This is often used as a sexual ploy as well. A big insult in the African-American community.

Lily is a little girl who will tell you that you have the bluest eyes she's ever seen and the whitest teeth. She's a jive turkey.
This dude was trying to holler at me asking what a nice girl like me was doing in a place like this. What a jive turkey!
Alexandria is a pathological liar, and is Queen of the Jive Turkeys.
Someone was trying to mack to Daddy Pimp Juice's girl and she told the Jive Turkey to step off while listening to The Ohio Players song "Jive Turkey."

by MadamexXx February 25, 2009