MadamexXx's definitions

Calorie Cops

When you are overweight and eat something fattening in public and someone says: "Are you sure you should be eating that?"
When you are quite thin, but some nosy scrotesque underweight old man sees that you have a big bag of M&M's and says: "It'll make ya fat."
When you are thin and someone who likes fat people tells you you're too thin. This is usually sexual harassment.

"I was trying to eat a doughnut one morning, but someone called the Calorie Cops. They were eating them too."
"I was proud of my thin new shape and this pervert who keeps trying to flirt with me said I should eat more. What is he, the Calorie Cops?"
Some people were making fun of fat people in line, and I said: "Shut up, you fvck!ng Calorie Cops!"

by MadamexXx February 25, 2009

Something for your ass

When you are due a real beat down for some jive turkey move.
An unpleasant surprise.
Karma being a bitch.
A ferocious retaliation.
A promise of good sex.

When my boyfriend asked if we could have a threesome I said: "I have SOMETHING for your ass."

by MadamexXx March 3, 2009

Negging

Low-grade insults meant to undermine the self-confidence of a woman so she might be more vulnerable to your advances. This is something no decent guy would do. They say that the assholes get the girls, but I can spot negging a mile away and I reject these fuckers straight off.

Everywhere there is an insecure pretty girl, there is some guy negging.
Negging can be so subtle, it's pratically undetectable.
I was wondering why that guy was complimenting me while putting me down. He was negging of course.

by MadamexXx March 2, 2009

Orientate

The word is supposed to be "orient." I'm not sure why people think orientate is the word, but it sounds like something dumb people make up to sound intelligent. They need to orient themselves with the English language.

I went to orientation to become orientated.
I'm not redneck-orientated. I know how to speak English.
Everytime I hear the word "Orientated" I want to cringe. It's as bad as hearing the word "ain't" or "warsh."

by MadamexXx February 24, 2009

Private Dick

A man with E.D. who doesn't warn you or a man with a small penis who doesn't warn you. Warning you right before the act doesn't count. A premature ejaculator. A man who is a disappointment in bed. You want to warn everybody, but then he'll spread rumors about you being an easy lay. It's easy to spot these guys beforehand. They like to make fun of other guys and try to make you jealous. Learn from my mistakes and watch for signs beforehand.

I thought Gary was the man of my dreams, but he turned out to be a Private Dick.
After I slept with Henry, he bragged to everyone, so I was sure to let them all know he was a Private Dick.
Tim was small and a premature ejaculator. What a Private Dick!

by MadamexXx February 24, 2009

A Hostage Situation

When a couple is on a date and you can tell it's a blind date or guilt induced by how mismatched the pair are. It makes for a really uncomfortable situation.

I went out with Ron because I didn't know he was considering it a date. All night, people kept looking at me funny like it was a hostage situation.
Honesty: "I can't go out with you because it'll look like a hostage situation."

by MadamexXx March 3, 2009

Wildebeast

A spiteful unattractive woman who favors a man in appearance. They say beauty is only skin deep, but it's her personality that makes her ugly. If she were nice, then she wouldn't catch so many insults from people. She is usually an alcoholic with unresolved issues.

Wildebeasts are mean to pretty girls, but you have to consider their resentment and bitterness.
I was taken aback by the appearance of Felicia as she looked like a wildebeast while insulting me saying my clothes didn't match.

by MadamexXx March 13, 2009