MadamexXx's definitions

Killjoy

A strange phenomenon that occurs when a man sees an opportunity to lecture a woman in his life about why it's wrong to enjoy something she enjoys, whether it be silly laughter he doesn't understand among friends or a dessert or admiring her own beauty in the mirror. He has something negative to say because of his own inner turmoil, but he takes it out on the woman. He needs to feel like he's smarter and misery loves company.
This could also be true coming from a woman, or parent to child, child to parent, friend to friend or anyone to anyone. Sadly, I have had a lot of people try to be killjoys in my life, so I never try to be one toward others.

"Everytime I try to get laid, there is a killjoy."
"Calorie Cops are killjoys."
"Killjoys are sadistic."
"Everybody treats killjoys like crap. That's why they are the way they are."

by MadamexXx February 26, 2009

Vortex of Shit

First you lose your job, then become homeless, come to find out your wife had someone else's baby. Kind of like a country song, but you can't help but wonder why you have such bad karma: Vortex of Shit.

I knew I was in a vortex of shit when my mother in law came to live with us.

by MadamexXx March 3, 2009

Gremlins

Children, who for some reason, have parents that can't give them enough attention. If you are kind to them, they'll come to your home, eat all your food, fuck up your property, test your sanity then go home pouting when you finally insist. Their parents are none the wiser. These kids usually tell really bad lies.

"There are some people I'd like to have over, but their kids are gremlins. It's not worth the headache."

by MadamexXx March 14, 2009

Dildork

A guy who strikes up conversations with you at the XXX store, unabashedly and follows you around. This makes you cling to your gay friend and it grosses him out.

I was looking at a Kama Sutra when a dildork asked me if I was finding everything OK and he didn't even work there.
The downfall of being beautiful? Some dildork is wanking right now because of you.

by MadamexXx March 3, 2009

Conversate

The real word is "converse," as "orientate" is really meant to be the word "orient." There is a difference between being creative and verbal rather than sounding stupid because you think you have game.

Guy: "I came over here to conversate and become orientated with you."
Girl: "WTF? I thought you just wanted to talk and get to know me better."
See you stupid that sounds? Please, for the love of God, stop saying that stupid shit. Don't you want to be somebody?

by MadamexXx March 13, 2009

Tetrisosterone

Testrisosterone is the hormone needed to play a mean game of Tetris along with an untreated case of OCD.

Everytime I hear that Russian music, I feel a wave of Tetrisosterone coming on!
My boyfriend is never horny, but has a case of Tetrisosterone. No wonder his hand is always sore!
I get aggressive while doing a jigsaw puzzle because I have Tetrisosterone.

by MadamexXx May 19, 2009

Calorie Cops

When you are overweight and eat something fattening in public and someone says: "Are you sure you should be eating that?"
When you are quite thin, but some nosy scrotesque underweight old man sees that you have a big bag of M&M's and says: "It'll make ya fat."
When you are thin and someone who likes fat people tells you you're too thin. This is usually sexual harassment.

"I was trying to eat a doughnut one morning, but someone called the Calorie Cops. They were eating them too."
"I was proud of my thin new shape and this pervert who keeps trying to flirt with me said I should eat more. What is he, the Calorie Cops?"
Some people were making fun of fat people in line, and I said: "Shut up, you fvck!ng Calorie Cops!"

by MadamexXx February 25, 2009