MadamexXx's definitions

A Hostage Situation

When a couple is on a date and you can tell it's a blind date or guilt induced by how mismatched the pair are. It makes for a really uncomfortable situation.

I went out with Ron because I didn't know he was considering it a date. All night, people kept looking at me funny like it was a hostage situation.
Honesty: "I can't go out with you because it'll look like a hostage situation."

by MadamexXx March 3, 2009

Bootsy Mother-Fucker

Somebody who has no fashion sense or ability to match in an environment where everyone else does and being this way is social suicide. We used to say it in San Francisco.

That bootsy mother-fucker must be colorblind! Doesn't he own a mirror?

by MadamexXx March 10, 2009

Lock, Stock, and Cock Block

1.(males)When someone goes above and beyond the call of duty to do a cock block. This usually involves a second or third party to really make it extra awkward. This is, in particular just some guy trying to be a prick.
2.(females) Having to be an uber bitch just to get some guy to leave you alone.

Line at the movies. Male and female are dressed up and obviously on a date. Some dickhead is going on and on about how the girl is too pretty for the guy. He proposes to his friend that they kick the guy's ass because he's not good-looking enough for her; Lock, Stock, and Cock Block.
Girl: "Hmm."
Guy: "Can I get that number?"
Girl: "Rape!"
Lock, stock and cock block!

by MadamexXx March 2, 2009

Albino

Human or animal lacking in melanin, causing them to have literally white skin (or fur), pink eyes and poor vision. I don't know much about them, but my sister and I are really afraid of them. I had a supervisor who was half-albino and he scared the crap outta me. One time this albino guy stared at me and it freaked me out. It's still scary to think about.

Once I was walking up the street and saw an albino standing outside of a store. I got super scared and crossed the street. As I passed him from across the street, I snuck a look at him. He was really a manniquin who was moving around from the wind outside,a very human-looking manniquin. I feel like a damn fool, but I still won't go into that store. My apology to any albino who's reading this.

by MadamexXx March 18, 2009

Jive Turkey

Someone who exaggerates to the point where it's over the top and they are way full of shit. This person hasn't learned the meaning of overkill when it comes to building themself up or buttering someone else up. This is often a child who is trying to flatter an adult with sophomoric compliments. This is often used as a sexual ploy as well. A big insult in the African-American community.

Lily is a little girl who will tell you that you have the bluest eyes she's ever seen and the whitest teeth. She's a jive turkey.
This dude was trying to holler at me asking what a nice girl like me was doing in a place like this. What a jive turkey!
Alexandria is a pathological liar, and is Queen of the Jive Turkeys.
Someone was trying to mack to Daddy Pimp Juice's girl and she told the Jive Turkey to step off while listening to The Ohio Players song "Jive Turkey."

by MadamexXx February 25, 2009

Big Butt Paranoia

It's when you don't feel fat except when trying to squeeze by somewhere or usually someone. Narrow walkways are conducive to Big Butt Paranoia as well as trying to get out of a car back seat in a two-door. Being in a crowd can cause this as well.

I felt fit and trim, but after squeezing by everyone at the crowded deli, I developped a case of Big Butt Paranoia.
Everytime I get out of that car, I get big butt paranoia.
I always get BBP in that elevator.
It's usually people with small butts who get big butt paranoia.

by MadamexXx February 20, 2009

Before Picture

This is when somebody's body is misshapen by poor eating habits or drugs, tacky outfit or outdated. It's somebody whose look you would change if you could.

I decided to go on a diet because I was starting to look like a Before Picture naked.
With that Billy Ray Cyrus mullet, he looked like a Before Picture.
Her yellow teeth made her look like a Before Picture.

by MadamexXx February 25, 2009