MadamexXx's definitions

Licks Balls

Sucks in comparison.
Made famous from the Movie Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back. They're standing outside a convenience store they don't like.
Jay: "This place licks balls compared to the Quik Stop."

Me: "Their church choir licks balls compared to ours."
My son: "Mom, that's not very Christian-like."
Me: "Um, OK. The Devil licks balls compared to God."
My son: "That's better."

by MadamexXx February 24, 2009

Hermaphrodyke

When a woman is so mannish you have to wonder if there is a penis or testicles somewhere.
When you are truly stumped at guessing someone's gender.

I went into the locker room and saw a hermaphrodyke and I was afraid to look.

by MadamexXx March 3, 2009

Bootsy Mother-Fucker

Somebody who has no fashion sense or ability to match in an environment where everyone else does and being this way is social suicide. We used to say it in San Francisco.

That bootsy mother-fucker must be colorblind! Doesn't he own a mirror?

by MadamexXx March 10, 2009

Lock, Stock, and Cock Block

1.(males)When someone goes above and beyond the call of duty to do a cock block. This usually involves a second or third party to really make it extra awkward. This is, in particular just some guy trying to be a prick.
2.(females) Having to be an uber bitch just to get some guy to leave you alone.

Line at the movies. Male and female are dressed up and obviously on a date. Some dickhead is going on and on about how the girl is too pretty for the guy. He proposes to his friend that they kick the guy's ass because he's not good-looking enough for her; Lock, Stock, and Cock Block.
Girl: "Hmm."
Guy: "Can I get that number?"
Girl: "Rape!"
Lock, stock and cock block!

by MadamexXx March 2, 2009

Domestic Terrorist

Anyone you're living with who won't let you sleep, give you privacy, makes too much noise, tries to throw cock blocks when you have someone you're interested in over, borrows your clothes without asking, takes up too much time in the bathroom, has their obnoxious friends over too much and is basically a pain in the ass to live with. These people are usually not right in the head or have a substance abuse issue or is just plain old inconsiderate. Any intolerable child.

My roomate makes too much noise when I'm trying to sleep. She's a domestic terrorist.
Dennise is a domestic terrorist. She tries to wear my sexy underwear and tries to steal my boyfriends.
I won't babysit that loud-ass kid. He's a domestic terrorist.
My husband always has the TV up too loud. He's a domestic terrorist.
I had to break up with Danny because he'd get drunk at night and do a bunch of noisy and obnoxious shit so I couldn't sleep. He is a domestic terrorist.

by MadamexXx February 9, 2009

Private Dick

A man with E.D. who doesn't warn you or a man with a small penis who doesn't warn you. Warning you right before the act doesn't count. A premature ejaculator. A man who is a disappointment in bed. You want to warn everybody, but then he'll spread rumors about you being an easy lay. It's easy to spot these guys beforehand. They like to make fun of other guys and try to make you jealous. Learn from my mistakes and watch for signs beforehand.

I thought Gary was the man of my dreams, but he turned out to be a Private Dick.
After I slept with Henry, he bragged to everyone, so I was sure to let them all know he was a Private Dick.
Tim was small and a premature ejaculator. What a Private Dick!

by MadamexXx February 24, 2009

A Hostage Situation

When a couple is on a date and you can tell it's a blind date or guilt induced by how mismatched the pair are. It makes for a really uncomfortable situation.

I went out with Ron because I didn't know he was considering it a date. All night, people kept looking at me funny like it was a hostage situation.
Honesty: "I can't go out with you because it'll look like a hostage situation."

by MadamexXx March 3, 2009