This is when somebody's body is misshapen by poor eating habits or drugs, tacky outfit or outdated. It's somebody whose look you would change if you could.
I decided to go on a diet because I was starting to look like a Before Picture naked.
With that Billy Ray Cyrus mullet, he looked like a Before Picture.
Her yellow teeth made her look like a Before Picture.
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Before Picture
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Pointing out an obese person and then arguing with the person you're with if that isn't the fattest person you've ever seen. The other person has always seen someone more fat. You don't always have to be making fun of this person. You can be feeling sorry for them. This is a favorite game with anorexics and people who are fatasses themselves.
Every time we leave the house, my man likes to go fat watching. If I'm not there, he likes to tell me on the phone how fat someone was he saw. Fat Watching is different than confronting someone about their weight or teasing them until they develop an eating disorder. It is strictly a third party game and almost as fun as looking for ghetto booty.
This is a shirt my first husband got second hand and I could tell why. As soon as he put that shirt on, it looked so bad that I was forced to shut my eyes because it was emotionally traumatizing to look at it. The combination of print, pattern and color produced such a cataclysm of visual assault that I needed six months of therapy to deal with it. It is the equivalent of seeing your loved one wearing a Jason from Halloween mask, which is almost as scary.
When my husband wore the birth control shirt, I knew that there would be no chance of him cheating on me. I was surprised it didn't render him sterile. It was one ugly-ass unflattering shirt. I threw it away and he divorced me anyway.
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Somebody who has no fashion sense or ability to match in an environment where everyone else does and being this way is social suicide. We used to say it in San Francisco.
That bootsy mother-fucker must be colorblind! Doesn't he own a mirror?
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1. When you are so addicted, you're jonesing for a sweet, carbonated, caffeinated beverage that bubbles sweetly down your throat and finally getting one is ecstacy.
2. You're in the middle of hot sex and all you can think about is drinking a soda.
That first diet Pepsi in the morning gives me a sodagasm.
I poured soda on his dick and then sucked it off because I was so thirsty and had a sodagasm.
1.(males)When someone goes above and beyond the call of duty to do a cock block. This usually involves a second or third party to really make it extra awkward. This is, in particular just some guy trying to be a prick.
2.(females) Having to be an uber bitch just to get some guy to leave you alone.
Line at the movies. Male and female are dressed up and obviously on a date. Some dickhead is going on and on about how the girl is too pretty for the guy. He proposes to his friend that they kick the guy's ass because he's not good-looking enough for her; Lock, Stock, and Cock Block.
Girl: "Hmm."
Guy: "Can I get that number?"
Girl: "Rape!"
Lock, stock and cock block!
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Lock, Stock, and Cock Block
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When you are overweight and eat something fattening in public and someone says: "Are you sure you should be eating that?"
When you are quite thin, but some nosy scrotesque underweight old man sees that you have a big bag of M&M's and says: "It'll make ya fat."
When you are thin and someone who likes fat people tells you you're too thin. This is usually sexual harassment.
"I was trying to eat a doughnut one morning, but someone called the Calorie Cops. They were eating them too."
"I was proud of my thin new shape and this pervert who keeps trying to flirt with me said I should eat more. What is he, the Calorie Cops?"
Some people were making fun of fat people in line, and I said: "Shut up, you fvck!ng Calorie Cops!"
