Albino

Human or animal lacking in melanin, causing them to have literally white skin (or fur), pink eyes and poor vision. I don't know much about them, but my sister and I are really afraid of them. I had a supervisor who was half-albino and he scared the crap outta me. One time this albino guy stared at me and it freaked me out. It's still scary to think about.

Once I was walking up the street and saw an albino standing outside of a store. I got super scared and crossed the street. As I passed him from across the street, I snuck a look at him. He was really a manniquin who was moving around from the wind outside,a very human-looking manniquin. I feel like a damn fool, but I still won't go into that store. My apology to any albino who's reading this.

by MadamexXx March 18, 2009

Vortex of Shit

First you lose your job, then become homeless, come to find out your wife had someone else's baby. Kind of like a country song, but you can't help but wonder why you have such bad karma: Vortex of Shit.

I knew I was in a vortex of shit when my mother in law came to live with us.

by MadamexXx March 03, 2009

Private Dick

A man with E.D. who doesn't warn you or a man with a small penis who doesn't warn you. Warning you right before the act doesn't count. A premature ejaculator. A man who is a disappointment in bed. You want to warn everybody, but then he'll spread rumors about you being an easy lay. It's easy to spot these guys beforehand. They like to make fun of other guys and try to make you jealous. Learn from my mistakes and watch for signs beforehand.

I thought Gary was the man of my dreams, but he turned out to be a Private Dick.
After I slept with Henry, he bragged to everyone, so I was sure to let them all know he was a Private Dick.
Tim was small and a premature ejaculator. What a Private Dick!

by MadamexXx February 24, 2009

ReFlab

After a meth, crack or heroin addict gets off habitual drug use, they gain a lot of weight in a hurry because the drug and not eating has slowed their metabolism down. Since their muscles have also deteriorated from this habit, they get a lot of untoned fat: ReFlab.

"First I went to Rehab, now I've gone to ReFlab!"
"ReFlab is one of the leading causes that Americans are so fat."
"I used to be an athlete, but my body went to ReFlab after I was bedridden for six months."
"If I moved back in with my parents, I would begin to ReFlab because of my mom's cooking."

by MadamexXx February 26, 2009

Grisly Steamer

A large and extra stinky bowel movement that you break into a sweat taking. It is usually time consuming and you have to bite on a washcloth while taking it. This is fun for guys who have been drinking to joke about using a different sort of accent, usually proper British.

"Ryan was in the bathroom for a half an hour taking a grisly steamer."
"That grisly steamer almost had me calling 911."
"Shawn is still talking about a grisly steamer he took last year."
"If you want to repulse a guy and you're a girl, talk about taking a grisly steamer."
"That grisly steamer made me want to slap my mom."

by MadamexXx February 26, 2009

Daddy Pimp Juice

He's the man. He's got the wardrobe, the women, the dollas, the best car and everyone looks up to him. He's the type of dude that people want to make movies about. He's a straight gangsta.

Daddy Pimp Juice came up and told that busta he was a jive turkey and the dude was speechless.
I asked my friend who that fine ass man was and she said: "Didn't you know? That's Daddy Pimp Juice."
My kids want to take Daddy Pimp Juice for show and tell.
Daddy Pimp Juice has the best swag in the neighborhood.

by MadamexXx February 09, 2009

Before Picture

This is when somebody's body is misshapen by poor eating habits or drugs, tacky outfit or outdated. It's somebody whose look you would change if you could.

I decided to go on a diet because I was starting to look like a Before Picture naked.
With that Billy Ray Cyrus mullet, he looked like a Before Picture.
Her yellow teeth made her look like a Before Picture.

by MadamexXx February 25, 2009