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Loxi's definitions

evasive maneuver

Action taken by a person who spys another person approaching whom he would like to avoid.

Evasive maneuvers include:

1. Ducking down an aisle or into a cubicle to avoid the person.

2. Turning around mid-stride and walking away from the person before he spys you.

3. Making up an elaborate (yet plausible) excuse to get away from the person, i. e. "I really want to chat, but I am late picking up my kids from daycare. It was good seeing you!"

4. Pretending to be engaged in some important act (i.e. a telephone call) so the person is forced to leave your presence.
Upon seeing the office gossip approach, the clerk begins the evasive maneuver of grabbing a stack of folders and heading toward the file room.
by Loxi July 17, 2009
mugGet the evasive maneuvermug.

catholicked

Definition 1: A student who received corporal punishment at parochial school via a monster-sized paddle that was kept in the principals office.

Definition 2: Oral technique that parochial school cheerleaders used on every boy they came in contact with.
I know of many people who were Catholicked during my 12 years in parochial school.
by Loxi July 19, 2009
mugGet the catholickedmug.

money

The biggest reason for stress in most marriages and the number one cause of divorce in the United States.
Without money in which to pay the bills, Susie & Bobby are forced to file for bankruptcy.
by Loxi July 22, 2009
mugGet the moneymug.

Lawtyr

Short for "lawn martyr". The lawtyr insists on doing the yard maintenance himself (mowing, landscaping, etc.) all the while complaining to everyone within earshot about having to do it -- and acting rather put upon.

The lawtyr is the natural foe of the housewife.
Neighbor: What's the hubby up to today?

Wife: Ah, nothing much. He's just lawtyring around the house today.
by Loxi July 16, 2009
mugGet the Lawtyrmug.

marriage

A matrimonial state as defined by:

1) Females: "Marriage is the opportunity for two souls to be legally bound together so that they can share their innermost thoughts and feelings while creating the most perfect life together."

2) Males: "Wow, a chick to take care of me like my mother used to - but with the added bonus of sex!"
See marriage definition above.
by Loxi July 19, 2009
mugGet the marriagemug.

sports jockey

Refers to a male with unfulfilled dreams of sports stardom who then pressures his children into playing sports in the hope they achieve the stardom he failed to achieve.

The sports jockey is the male equivalent of the stage mom.
Wife 1: (Sighing) My husband enrolled (insert child's name here) in softball, gymnastics, tennis, and track this year at school.

Wife 2: You poor thing. You married a sports jockey too?
by Loxi July 17, 2009
mugGet the sports jockeymug.

southern slam

A deliberate insult said to a person's face by a Southerner who is thought to be giving high praise, but is in fact thoroughly insulting the person. The slam is said in a heavy Southern drawl so as to fool the person into thinking you are stupid.
Example 1:

Upon seeing a woman approach wearing a hideous dress:

Southern Slammer: "Where eva did you get that dress? I simply must know. It takes my breath away!

Loosely translated: "That is the fugliest dress I have ever seen. I want to know where you got it so I can avoid that store like the plague!"
by Loxi July 19, 2009
mugGet the southern slammug.

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