Loxi's definitions

teenager

An emotionally under-developed, materialistic, thinks-he-knows-it-all child between the ages of 12-20 who pushes his parents' sanity to the limit.

I used to think that God would not send one more than he could handle - and then I met a teenager.

by Loxi July 20, 2009

promotion

An increase in pay, title, and responsibility for an employee within a company that should be based on his hard work - but occasionally is based on nepotism, office politics, or sycophantic behavior while on the job.

No one seemed surprised by Joey's promotion at work, as he is the boss' son.

by Loxi July 22, 2009

dom mom

Refers to females who wear the pants in the family, i.e. Kate from Jon & Kate Plus 8.

I don't know how he puts up with her crap. She's such a dom mom.

by Loxi July 15, 2009

afrabnormality

Refers to an African American participating in an activity outside of his normal environment (or what "society" feels is his normal environment).

Examples include:

1. Michael Steele, Republican Party Chair

2. Willy T. Ribbs or Bill Lester, NASCAR drivers

3. Willie O'Ree, NHL player

4. Andre Horton or Suki Horton, Alpine skiers

Girl #1: Did you see Michael Steele on the Today show yesterday spouting his Republican drivel?

Sister #2: Nah. I try to keep afrabnormality like that at a distance.

by Loxi July 18, 2009

starving kids in Africa

Phrase used by Catholic priests or nuns to guilt parochial students into eating vegetables that are good for them or donating money to yet another Catholic charity.

Example 1:

Sr. Mary: Eat your brussels sprouts, Susie.

Susie: But, I don't like them, sister. They're yucky!

Sr. Mary: I can't believe you are wasting food. Why, there are starving kids in Africa who would give anything to have those brussel sprouts. So, you eat them, you hear? They're part of God's bountiful harvest.

Susie: (Looking guilty) Yes, sister.

Example 2:

Sr. Mary: (To class) As part of our Lenten service project, I am asking that each of you donate your lunch money today to the Feed the Children organization. In return, you will receive one cracker and a bowl of watered-down chicken broth for lunch - just like the starving kids in Africa eat every day.

Susie: (Looking longingly at her lunch money) Yes, sister.

by Loxi July 18, 2009

Police Scanner Perv

A citizen who listens intently to a police scanner all day and night so that he will know of all of the fires, murders, robberies, assaults, etc. that occur in his town. The PSP then gleefully informs his friends the next day of the gory details.

The PSP differs from the local policeman, fireman, or EMT with a scanner in that he has a pervy interest in listening to the scanner, not a professional interest.

Dispatcher on Scanner: We have a 10-59 on 25th and Maple; a house is burning, a trauma team and a fire control team are en route.

Police Scanner Perv: Ssh, honey. I am trying to hear the scanner. I think your mother's house may be on fire!

by Loxi July 18, 2009

southern slam

A deliberate insult said to a person's face by a Southerner who is thought to be giving high praise, but is in fact thoroughly insulting the person. The slam is said in a heavy Southern drawl so as to fool the person into thinking you are stupid.

Example 1:

Upon seeing a woman approach wearing a hideous dress:

Southern Slammer: "Where eva did you get that dress? I simply must know. It takes my breath away!

Loosely translated: "That is the fugliest dress I have ever seen. I want to know where you got it so I can avoid that store like the plague!"

by Loxi July 19, 2009