Money paid to an employee for regular work performed that is supposed to reflect the true value of the employee to the company, but more often resembles a bad joke.
My salary is laughable.
Phrase used by Catholic priests or nuns to guilt parochial students into eating vegetables that are good for them or donating money to yet another Catholic charity.
Sr. Mary: Eat your brussels sprouts, Susie.
Susie: But, I don't like them, sister. They're yucky!
Sr. Mary: I can't believe you are wasting food. Why, there are starving kids in Africa who would give anything to have those brussel sprouts. So, you eat them, you hear? They're part of God's bountiful harvest.
Susie: (Looking guilty) Yes, sister.
Sr. Mary: (To class) As part of our Lenten service project, I am asking that each of you donate your lunch money today to the Feed the Children organization. In return, you will receive one cracker and a bowl of watered-down chicken broth for lunch - just like the starving kids in Africa eat every day.
Susie: (Looking longingly at her lunch money) Yes, sister.
An increase in pay, title, and responsibility for an employee within a company that should be based on his hard work - but occasionally is based on nepotism, office politics, or sycophantic behavior while on the job.
No one seemed surprised by Joey's promotion at work, as he is the boss' son.
Action taken by a person who spys another person approaching whom he would like to avoid.
Evasive maneuvers include:
1. Ducking down an aisle or into a cubicle to avoid the person.
2. Turning around mid-stride and walking away from the person before he spys you.
3. Making up an elaborate (yet plausible) excuse to get away from the person, i. e. "I really want to chat, but I am late picking up my kids from daycare. It was good seeing you!"
4. Pretending to be engaged in some important act (i.e. a telephone call) so the person is forced to leave your presence.
Upon seeing the office gossip approach, the clerk begins the evasive maneuver of grabbing a stack of folders and heading toward the file room.
Money and personal property that a hard-working person accumulates during his lifetime that pissant children thinks is their due upon his death.
Below are categories of heir behavior in regard to future inheritances:
1. Grave Watchers: Children who know they will inherit and are just waiting around for the person to die to claim the inheritance.
2. Ingratiating little bastards: Children who kiss the person's ass repeatedly in the hope he will leave his worldly belongings to them.
3. Presumptive brats: Children who assume they will inherit and who foolishly spend money they don't have today, only to find out later they didn't inherit and are now up to their eyeballs in debt.
Inheritances are a gift, not a birthright.
Refers to an African American participating in an activity outside of his normal environment (or what "society" feels is his normal environment).
1. Michael Steele, Republican Party Chair
2. Willy T. Ribbs or Bill Lester, NASCAR drivers
3. Willie O'Ree, NHL player
4. Andre Horton or Suki Horton, Alpine skiers
Girl #1: Did you see Michael Steele on the Today show yesterday spouting his Republican drivel?
Sister #2: Nah. I try to keep afrabnormality like that at a distance.
A state of complete physical and emotional abandonment caused by the husband's preference to hunt animals in the wild for days on end instead of spending quality time with his wife at home.
Wife 1: So, your hubby's away on yet another hunting trip, is he?
Wife 2: (Angrily) Don't remind me. I swear, if I wasn't already a hunting widow, I would kill him myself!