27 definitions by Loxi

promotion

An increase in pay, title, and responsibility for an employee within a company that should be based on his hard work - but occasionally is based on nepotism, office politics, or sycophantic behavior while on the job.

No one seemed surprised by Joey's promotion at work, as he is the boss' son.

by Loxi July 22, 2009

marriage

A matrimonial state as defined by:

1) Females: "Marriage is the opportunity for two souls to be legally bound together so that they can share their innermost thoughts and feelings while creating the most perfect life together."

2) Males: "Wow, a chick to take care of me like my mother used to - but with the added bonus of sex!"

See marriage definition above.

by Loxi July 19, 2009

catapulpit

Refers to a member of the Catholic faith who breaks one or more of the ten commandments in record time (either before or after leaving the Catholic Church).

Examples include:

1. Madonna, entertainer

2. Alberto Cutie, aka "Father Oprah", former priest

3. Kenneth Bianchi, aka "The Hillside Strangler", convicted murderer

Guy 1: Man, did you see on television that Father Oprah scored him a babe?

Guy 2: Yeah! You got to admire him for catapulpitting himself toward such a hot piece of ass!

by Loxi July 18, 2009

teenager

An emotionally under-developed, materialistic, thinks-he-knows-it-all child between the ages of 12-20 who pushes his parents' sanity to the limit.

I used to think that God would not send one more than he could handle - and then I met a teenager.

by Loxi July 21, 2009

catholicked

Definition 1: A student who received corporal punishment at parochial school via a monster-sized paddle that was kept in the principals office.

Definition 2: Oral technique that parochial school cheerleaders used on every boy they came in contact with.

I know of many people who were Catholicked during my 12 years in parochial school.

by Loxi July 20, 2009

father-in-law

The sainted man who lives with one's mother-in-law. Generally is known for having great patience.

My father-in-law is a gift from God, but my mother-in-law is a minion of the Devil.

by Loxi July 22, 2009