Loxi's definitions
Short for "lawn martyr". The lawtyr insists on doing the yard maintenance himself (mowing, landscaping, etc.) all the while complaining to everyone within earshot about having to do it -- and acting rather put upon.
The lawtyr is the natural foe of the housewife.
The lawtyr is the natural foe of the housewife.
Neighbor: What's the hubby up to today?
Wife: Ah, nothing much. He's just lawtyring around the house today.
Wife: Ah, nothing much. He's just lawtyring around the house today.
by Loxi July 16, 2009
Get the Lawtyr mug.A matrimonial state as defined by:
1) Females: "Marriage is the opportunity for two souls to be legally bound together so that they can share their innermost thoughts and feelings while creating the most perfect life together."
2) Males: "Wow, a chick to take care of me like my mother used to - but with the added bonus of sex!"
1) Females: "Marriage is the opportunity for two souls to be legally bound together so that they can share their innermost thoughts and feelings while creating the most perfect life together."
2) Males: "Wow, a chick to take care of me like my mother used to - but with the added bonus of sex!"
See marriage definition above.
by Loxi July 19, 2009
Get the marriage mug.A deliberate insult said to a person's face by a Southerner who is thought to be giving high praise, but is in fact thoroughly insulting the person. The slam is said in a heavy Southern drawl so as to fool the person into thinking you are stupid.
Example 1:
Upon seeing a woman approach wearing a hideous dress:
Southern Slammer: "Where eva did you get that dress? I simply must know. It takes my breath away!
Loosely translated: "That is the fugliest dress I have ever seen. I want to know where you got it so I can avoid that store like the plague!"
Upon seeing a woman approach wearing a hideous dress:
Southern Slammer: "Where eva did you get that dress? I simply must know. It takes my breath away!
Loosely translated: "That is the fugliest dress I have ever seen. I want to know where you got it so I can avoid that store like the plague!"
by Loxi July 19, 2009
Get the southern slam mug.A state of complete physical and emotional abandonment caused by the husband's preference to hunt animals in the wild for days on end instead of spending quality time with his wife at home.
Wife 1: So, your hubby's away on yet another hunting trip, is he?
Wife 2: (Angrily) Don't remind me. I swear, if I wasn't already a hunting widow, I would kill him myself!
Wife 2: (Angrily) Don't remind me. I swear, if I wasn't already a hunting widow, I would kill him myself!
by Loxi July 18, 2009
Get the hunting widow mug.A boring-like speech given for an extended period of time by a so-called expert in his field for the sole purpose of teaching the audience a subject or valuable lesson.
Sermons are often delivered to the audience by total hypocrites, so please tread with caution.
Sermons are often delivered to the audience by total hypocrites, so please tread with caution.
Examples include:
1. Church sermons by a priest/pastor/preacher
2. Commencement addresses at graduation ceremonies
3. Parents to their children whenever they do something the parents used to do that they now feel is wrong
1. Church sermons by a priest/pastor/preacher
2. Commencement addresses at graduation ceremonies
3. Parents to their children whenever they do something the parents used to do that they now feel is wrong
by Loxi July 23, 2009
Get the sermon mug.The biggest reason for stress in most marriages and the number one cause of divorce in the United States.
by Loxi July 22, 2009
Get the money mug.Insightful information (or thoughtful little life lessons) that a person attempts to convey to another person about a particular subject.
by Loxi July 21, 2009
Get the pearls of wisdom mug.