70 definitions by Lord Grimcock
by Lord Grimcock August 21, 2007
A man to whom one is related by virtue of having had a slice of the same pie. Bird's Second Law of Custardation states that six degrees of custard kinship would unite virtually the whole mammalian population of Earth. Most of them by way of a certain bitch-whore I used to work with.
Justin Timberlake, Kevin Federline, that Brummagem Paki, the Dave Clark Five, the fourth 'Lassie' and half the population of Detroit are custard cousins.
by Lord Grimcock August 25, 2008
Post Office slang for fragile items that have, possibly deliberately, been smashed. Failed Under Kinetic Testing.
by Lord Grimcock August 28, 2007
With a loving partner, after a long night of fornication, to husband the combined essence of your ejaculate, gleet and the lady's fannybatter and, when available, menstrual runoff; to mix it with the contents of the liquor cabinet, fetch two straws and share a tall glass of the results.
The night we shared our first rainbow cocktail was the night I told her I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. Ah wait, I tell a lie - we done it once before the night you was conceived.
by Lord Grimcock September 4, 2007
The agonisingly painful experience that is fellatio from a person with big teeth - be it Janet Street Porter, Lara Lewington, Esther Rantzen or indeed the eponymous Ken Dodd.
'Fancy another Dodd job, Normski?'
'No thank you Janet. By the way, have you seen the iodine?'
(credit: Profanisaurus)
'No thank you Janet. By the way, have you seen the iodine?'
(credit: Profanisaurus)
by Lord Grimcock May 26, 2008
by Lord Grimcock September 4, 2007
If Chesney looks a bit uncomfortable today, it's because Jerome bust his hoop behind the gazebo last night, poor cunt.
by Lord Grimcock April 26, 2008