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Definitions by Lord Grimcock

ball glaze 

Pressed against that schoolgirl's hip on the axle seat of the 57, I'm ashamed to say I involuntarily released a few drops of ball glaze as we passed over that unmade road, Father.
ball glaze by Lord Grimcock September 13, 2007

rainbow cocktail

With a loving partner, after a long night of fornication, to husband the combined essence of your ejaculate, gleet and the lady's fannybatter and, when available, menstrual runoff; to mix it with the contents of the liquor cabinet, fetch two straws and share a tall glass of the results.
The night we shared our first rainbow cocktail was the night I told her I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. Ah wait, I tell a lie - we done it once before the night you was conceived.
rainbow cocktail by Lord Grimcock September 13, 2007

bookie's biro 

British. The state of the old man after multiple bouts of spirited fellatio - that is, chewed to fuck. Can lead to gangrene.
I came back from my weekend at Julie's with a cock like a bookie's biro.
bookie's biro by Lord Grimcock September 13, 2007

Belgian biscuit 

British. To quote the Profanisaurus, 'a vile and non-specific sex act performed by the staff of a rub-a-tug shop'.

Whatever it is it's rarely heard outside of Viz and, depending on exactly what you take it to mean, rarely seen either, thank Christ.
I offered him a Cleveland steamer and the filthy cunt's only asked if I do Belgian biscuit.
Belgian biscuit by Lord Grimcock September 11, 2007

hannukaust 

A hilarious and disgraceful conflation of the Jewish holiday Hannukah with 'holocaust' for vaguely comic effect. Careless use can result in a six-year prison sentence.

First coined by bittersweet folk rockers Vaginal Jesus on the album 'Affirmative Apartheid'.
Happy Hannukaust, Shlomo - next year in Jerusalem, eh, ye hook-nosed twat?

*sirens*
hannukaust by Lord Grimcock September 11, 2007
Post Office slang for fragile items that have, possibly deliberately, been smashed. Failed Under Kinetic Testing.
This Dambusters clock plate's came from the main sorting office and it looks like it's FUKT.
FUKT by Lord Grimcock September 4, 2007
British slang for a man's tummy banana.
Why do you never see 'Chopper' Biggs riding a bike?
chopper by Lord Grimcock August 28, 2007