6 definitions by Lord Horatio Richards
Magic Vagina
Noun;
The female sexual reproductive organ of a femme fatale that male victims are unable to get out of their system.
Females/they/them's with a magic vagina will experience their suitors and conquests unable to get over them. As such these lost souls will keep returning unable to move on with their lives.
Similarly hypnotic in nature as the call of the Siren to shipwrecked sailors, the magic vagina's hold over its victim is compelling and total.
Noun;
The female sexual reproductive organ of a femme fatale that male victims are unable to get out of their system.
Females/they/them's with a magic vagina will experience their suitors and conquests unable to get over them. As such these lost souls will keep returning unable to move on with their lives.
Similarly hypnotic in nature as the call of the Siren to shipwrecked sailors, the magic vagina's hold over its victim is compelling and total.
"Have you heard any more from Basil since you two broke up, Clare?"
"He keeps messaging, sending flowers, and calling me at work, Dan - it's like he's totally obsessed."
"Really? It was three years ago, I don't know why he can't move on - it's like you have some kind of magic vagina, or something!"
"He keeps messaging, sending flowers, and calling me at work, Dan - it's like he's totally obsessed."
"Really? It was three years ago, I don't know why he can't move on - it's like you have some kind of magic vagina, or something!"
by Lord Horatio Richards April 12, 2023
Noun
A term to describe people who have a fascination with, and artistic appreciation of, 'spunking cock' graffiti in all its forms.
Typically depicted with a bulbous phallus, testicles, and three droplets of ejaculate (pubes optional).
A term to describe people who have a fascination with, and artistic appreciation of, 'spunking cock' graffiti in all its forms.
Typically depicted with a bulbous phallus, testicles, and three droplets of ejaculate (pubes optional).
Clare knew that it was no Banksy, but being the Spuncophile she was, she couldn't wait to show Steve the 'spunking cock' which a group of unruly Nuns had spray painted on the wall of the local orphanage.
by Lord Horatio Richards May 14, 2022
Smutty Jesus
A fictional religious deity used in modern parlance to celebrate and worship extreme smutty innuendo with the sole intent and purpose of providing levity and joy to a third party whom might be anxious, miserable, or in the doldrums.
A fictional religious deity used in modern parlance to celebrate and worship extreme smutty innuendo with the sole intent and purpose of providing levity and joy to a third party whom might be anxious, miserable, or in the doldrums.
"What's the matter Amelia?"
"I'm just not feeling too chipper at present, Tarquin - I think I've got a nasty case of crabs from an able seaman on shore leave."
"Well, I think someone needs a visitation from Smutty Jesus to lick them back into shape in that case."
"I'm just not feeling too chipper at present, Tarquin - I think I've got a nasty case of crabs from an able seaman on shore leave."
"Well, I think someone needs a visitation from Smutty Jesus to lick them back into shape in that case."
by Lord Horatio Richards April 12, 2023
Frelshing
Verb;
The sordid sexual practice when a Welshman fornicates with a sheep on his way home after work, and then upon arriving home also enjoys coital relations with his wife/significant other, without first washing his spunk-trumpet.
The portmanteau taken from the conjoining of Welshmen with a penchant for sheep, with the French and their commonly accepted aversion to personal hygiene.
Verb;
The sordid sexual practice when a Welshman fornicates with a sheep on his way home after work, and then upon arriving home also enjoys coital relations with his wife/significant other, without first washing his spunk-trumpet.
The portmanteau taken from the conjoining of Welshmen with a penchant for sheep, with the French and their commonly accepted aversion to personal hygiene.
"Right, that's it Dai, I'm done for the day down these mines. I'm off home to give my Betty a good frelshing before tea, see?"
by Lord Horatio Richards April 12, 2023
Hepworthing
Verb: To pester an attractive young student of consenting age with tawdry double entendrés and thinly veiled smut with the intent of distracting them from their studies to gain their attention.
Verb: To pester an attractive young student of consenting age with tawdry double entendrés and thinly veiled smut with the intent of distracting them from their studies to gain their attention.
"For heaven's sake Winsford, stop hepworthing the poor girl - she's trying to concentrate on her studies of Fermat's last theorem".
by Lord Horatio Richards June 20, 2022
Twat-Banter.
Noun
The outward display of affection between two intimately friendly parties by extreme piss taking, savage in nature.
Usually characterised, and generally understood by the rule of thumb that the more offensive and deftly aimed that the ribbing is, the greater the respect or underlying fondness that exists.
Noun
The outward display of affection between two intimately friendly parties by extreme piss taking, savage in nature.
Usually characterised, and generally understood by the rule of thumb that the more offensive and deftly aimed that the ribbing is, the greater the respect or underlying fondness that exists.
"Sweet Jesus, Gwyneth! Your vagina is like a wizards sleeve!"
"Haha! Your twat-banter is on top form tonight Rupert."
"Haha! Your twat-banter is on top form tonight Rupert."
by Lord Horatio Richards September 27, 2022