HeyJolene! My pussy is a fucking waterfall this month and I haven’t been fucked since June! Even then, billy only did me in the ass in the electrical closet at the Olive Garden is when I was on break!
Shut up you fat busted cunt! If you think I need to hear about you fucking and sucking off guys, go back to fucking them. I don’t want to listen to stories about your fat bitch period. Hit the treadmill. Fuck
Shut up you fat busted cunt! If you think I need to hear about you fucking and sucking off guys, go back to fucking them. I don’t want to listen to stories about your fat bitch period. Hit the treadmill. Fuck
by Larry and Rex and Benny August 06, 2018
This was a terrifying, potentially catastrophic, event that happened in the summer of 1992. This is when two people break into a hotel room to fuck and destroy everything in the room as a drunk accident including pouring whiskey all over the guys dick and sucking him off. Raunchy shit. During the sex the headboard falls off and panic ensues. The girl almost suffocates and suffers a bloody nose. Both parties panic. Then the actual owners of the room key in and the other party flees while the new couple is forced to clean up blood whiskey and semen. It’s awful.
Bro, shit was a disaster last night. We broke into a hotel room last night and turned that place into a crime scene. It reminded me of The Oxon Hill Headboard Incident from 1992. No shit, the owners opened the door as we cleaned up the blood and we had to run out of there naked. It was ugly.
by Larry and Rex and Benny October 15, 2018
Similar to the hogs used to sniff out truffles in Europe, a Truffle Pig is a stank ass bitch golddigging and sniffing, potentially, licking the ass of a rich person.
Yo Benny, I’m filthy rich, it’s great. This stupid bitch Sarah is such a Truffle Pig. She licked my ass and everything, all she wanted was a fancy purse. What a whore!
by Larry and Rex and Benny July 15, 2018
This is when a woman punches you in the face then jerks you off. A surprise move, but you’ll take it.
Hey dan! Rita gave me a slug and tug in the bathroom yesterday! She kicked open the door while I was laying one down. Then before you know it I have a black eye and I’m cleaning up shit and seamen. It was great!
by Larry and Rex and Benny October 13, 2018
This is when you aren’t worthy of fighting. You’re not even worthy of getting your ass kicked. This is when you are a mouthy little maggot who doesn’t know when to shut up and you say the wrong thing to the wrong guy. Then that guy decides to embarrass you and beat your ass with a stapler. He won’t even hit you with it but he’ll put 4 or 5 staples in your ass in front of the viewing public just to embarrass you for the bitch that you are while you cry like a baby. Everyone watching is laughing because this beatdown was a long time coming. You should be ashamed.
Hey Nate! Remember that time when...
Fuck you Ricky! I told you, stop talking or I’ll beat your ass! But you’re not even good enough for that! Because...when you’re a bitch I’m gonna just staple gun your ass. Bitch.
Only the sentence doesn’t really happen. Nate just tags Ricky with a stapler until he cries.
Fuck you Ricky! I told you, stop talking or I’ll beat your ass! But you’re not even good enough for that! Because...when you’re a bitch I’m gonna just staple gun your ass. Bitch.
Only the sentence doesn’t really happen. Nate just tags Ricky with a stapler until he cries.
by Larry and Rex and Benny August 05, 2018
This is when a terrorist prisoner Is stewing around in his cell with nothing better to do. He’s feeling bored so he goes and chats with his other loser terrorist buddies obviously plotting something.
Then later he goes into his neighbors cell and begins ass fucking him and as he’s about to cum he pulls out and seemlessly shoves a stick of dynamite in his ass blowing him to smithereens.
The other terrorists golf clap.
Then later he goes into his neighbors cell and begins ass fucking him and as he’s about to cum he pulls out and seemlessly shoves a stick of dynamite in his ass blowing him to smithereens.
The other terrorists golf clap.
“Yo Mustafo. This prison shit sucks. I’m gonna give the new guy the Guantanamo unholy sneak attack after lunch. Get some entertainment going around here.”
“That’s gonna be messy, but it sure beats movie night. I can’t watch Shawshank again.”
“That’s gonna be messy, but it sure beats movie night. I can’t watch Shawshank again.”
by Larry and Rex and Benny January 30, 2020
This is when you take a fifth of whiskey and pour it all over your dick and have your sex partner blow you. When she’s done she sucks all the excess whiskey off your balls and then the sheets. We thumped against the window all night then she took it like a champ!
Yo Brennan! I gave this bitch the West coast whiskey dick at my boy Mikes birthday party last week. We fucked all night and then she took the move like a champ.
by Larry and Rex and Benny October 15, 2018