Definitions by Larry Sanders

Shit Hammer 

Let's face it ... Sometimes a plunger simply will not do the job. That's when you call on the Shit Hammer.

Damn, Junior. You need to eat some roughage. I've been plunging this toilet for an hour. Now, I'm gonnna have to go rent a shit hammer!!

Shit Hammer by Larry Sanders August 26, 2006

can of worms 

Intended to be the logical follow-up to the popular can of fish (tuna, salmon, etc.), it has the distinction of being the worst new food invention of the 20th century.

"Tuna ... Salmon ... See there it is! I told you they still had a couple of cans of worms on the shelf!!"
"Damn, why is it so dusty and rusted?"

can of worms by Larry Sanders February 4, 2005

flatulance

A Norman medieval weapon that was popular for a short time. It consisted of a hardened spear forged with an inner core of rancid anal vapor. If a foe managed to defeat a knight and break his spear, the encased, aged vapors were designed to bring him to his knees. The weapon lost favor when armies began invading Mediterranean countries where the stench from the B.O. overpowered the soured vapors.

"How 'bout if I break that flatulance off in your ass, Nigga?!"

flatulance by Larry Sanders December 15, 2004

Fart Blossom 

A rare tropical flower of the genus, anus stinkypinkyus. It is noted for its delicate petals, slender stem, and, of course, for its ability to blow out a vile green cloud that could bring a sewer worker to his knees. Two varieties have been discovered: (1) Red 'n Angry, whose smell has been likened to a three-day-old meatloaf left in the sun, and (2) Yellow Oozing, whose aroma is remarkably similar to a Mexican toilet.

Phil passed out, has been sleeping all night in his own filth, and smells like a fart blossom.

Fart Blossom by Larry Sanders December 14, 2004

Farticle

Any object forcefully expelled from the anal orifice by a noxious expulsion of butt gas. Common examples include corn, bits of partially digested burrito, and, of course, any of a number of brands of anal lubricant applied in too thick a coating.

Amy always wore safety goggles after nearly losing an eye to an exploding farticle the morning after Homer's prison bachelor party.

Farticle by Larry Sanders December 14, 2004

Farthammer 

Germanic, das fartzenheimer. Refers to an ancient Nordic practice in which warriors, on the eve of battle, would engage in a festival of beer, roasted meat, bowel manipulation, and vigorous anal sex to produce an astounding amount of pent up anal gasses (often combined with farticles) that would be hurled at the enemy during close combat. The Nordic warriors were usually so hung over that the noxious fumes had little effect on them. But, the enemy commonly succumbed to the fetid cloud.

After the party, Elwood woke up with a piercing headache in a strange room with his butt bleeding and ripped one so loud it could only be called a farthammer.

Farthammer by Larry Sanders December 14, 2004

Moonshine 

Slang. Term refers to an anus that has been so thoroughly cornholed that the orifice has been polished to a fine sheen.

"Man, I took booty call on that girl so many times last night that her moonshine nearly blinded me!!"

Moonshine by Larry Sanders December 14, 2004