14 definitions by Korgmeister

1
1: Software that serves no useful purpose, but impairs the function of your computer, often due to using up RAM. Unlike spyware or malware this is just due to poor design rather than malicious intent.

2: Software designed to make computers easier for lusers to use, but ends up teaching them bad habits which cause them to wreck their computer or otherwise make using it more difficult than it needs to be.
Much of the "bonus" software that comes pre-installed with home computers sold by major manufacturers tends to fit one or both definitions of "retardware".
by Korgmeister August 02, 2006
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2
Derogatory term for the collective mass of young women who seek to emulate Paris Hilton's sense of "Style".
Damn, the club I went to last night sucked. I was knee deep in Paris Hilton Borg.
by Korgmeister April 01, 2006
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3
Earnest young Christians have WWJD as their acronyn du jour.

Cynics have NMFP - Not My Fucking Problem.

Recite this calming mantra the next time someone tries to make your life unnecessarily difficult.
Lumbergh: Umm, this project is kind of, err, behind schedule. So if you could, umm, come in Saturday...that'd be greeeat.
Me: Do I get overtime loading?
Lumbergh: Err...no. Payroll's been on my ass lately.
Me: Sorry dude. NMFP. Find someone else.
by Korgmeister March 15, 2005
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4
Translation from scientist to normal person speak: We honestly have no fucking idea.

Sometimes, even scientists don't know what's going on. At times like that they tend to act like everyone else, which is that they assume the most popular idea must be correct. Unfortunately, this is sophistry, not science.
Dr John Snow, I am tired of your incessant prattling about Cholera being a water-born disease! There is a scientific consensus that it is spread by a miasma and that is final!
by Korgmeister March 21, 2005
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5
A Playstation 3.

The PS3 is considered by some of its detractors to possess a passing physical resemblance to the George Foreman Grill. As such, those not fond of the console often like to dismissively refer to it as the (much cheaper) cooking appliance.
1: "Tell me again, why did you pay $1,000 for a George Foreman Grill?"

2: "I'm gonna be playing Halo 3 multiplayer all weekend! Oh yeah, you can't, you bought a George Foreman Grill".
by Korgmeister October 05, 2007
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6
In a teamwork situation, an extremely irrational person, who takes charge of a project through sheer force of will rather than competence and leads it in a direction which guarantees failure.

Background: The Don Quixote of literature had a tendency to do extraordinarily stupid things without thinking them through. But people were loathe to try and stop him on account of his being a few cans short of a six pack.
I am officially referring to my project leader as "Don Quixote" from this point on. She's got the idea in her head that she, rather than the boss, defines the project KPIs. I'm going along with it because a good performance appraisal is not worth the next few months of my life being made a living hell by that crazy-ass bitch!
by Korgmeister April 02, 2005
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7
A situation with the potential to explode into serious drama, but which can be prudently avoided by remaining silent/lurking.
1: I didn't give an opinion on this earlier because I didn't want to risk stepping on a drama mine.

2: I'd rather stay out of this blog war, I know better than to go stepping on a drama mine.
by Korgmeister August 02, 2006
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