Maltby Dumpster

The bin in which Nogtard's bog was dumped by the Rogue Maltbyite. When the bog was discovered by Monk and Mick the dumpster stank to high heaven because of Nogtard's disgusting shits.
Monk: Are we going to get Nogtard's Bog out of the Maltby Dumpster?

Mick: Yes we have to. The Rogue Maltbyite must be beaten. We'll put it back on the Maltby Lorry with a new sign attached to it.
by kenny spoffo-grumpbeetle August 04, 2009
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A fucking ugly bitch who goes out with the Porky Scotcher.
Who's the goofy cow taking a shit in the white van?

That's the girlfriend of the Porky Scotcher.

Fucking ugly bitch.
by Kenny Spoffo-Grumpbeetle May 16, 2009
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Asda midget

The token midget at every Asda store. They are employed not only to pacify the Equal Opportunities brigade but also because they're really good at getting tins that have rolled under the shelves.
Dad, why is that little boy working on the checkout?

That's no boy, that's the Asda midget. Every store has one.
by Kenny Spoffo-Grumpbeetle August 17, 2009
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Daniel Lumphead

A supermarket checkout assistant with a huge bony ridge on his forehead like a Klingon.
Monkus: Dad! Klingon alert!

Dad: Don't worry, its only Daniel Lumphead. Its David the Grunting Spacker you need to worry about.

Monkus: Shit, this place is full of retards.
by Kenny Spoffo-Grumpbeetle June 19, 2009
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Scotchy Mother's Wheelchair

The vehicle of the Porky Scotcher's mother which the important security guard takes her out in. This chair has appeared in comedy photographs taken by Monkus and Mickus.
Quick Monk, get in the Scotchy Mother's Wheelchair before Goofy Granny gets back and I'll take a photo.
by Kenny Spoffo-Grumpbeetle July 25, 2009
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Nogstipation

A type of constipation, the medical condition which results when Nogtard gorges himself on Sargent's apple pies and Hill biscuits. The obese Nogster loves all shitty biscuits and pies and has been known to feast on them for 6 hours at a stretch. The nogstipation can last up to a week. When it comes to an end and the fat retard eventually manages a dump the result can be explosive, not even the toughest porcelain being able to contain a mighty nogdump. Nogtard's legendary dumping exploits result in him getting through an average of 12 bogs per year. Roughly once a month the broken bogs are left in his front garden ready for removal to the nearest Maltby lorry.
Quick, phone the fire brigade, Nogtard's house has just blown up.

Don't panic, its probably Nogtard having a dump. He's had Nogstipation for the last week.
by Kenny Spoffo-Grumpbeetle August 05, 2009
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Pork Scotch Jacket

A snot-coloured hi-viz jacket worn by fat ugly security guards who are terrified of rain. The Pork Scotch Jacket will be worn whatever the weather because the slightest bit of rain is a complete catastrophe to the fat bastard who cries himself to sleep wishing he was back in South Africa where his boyfriends live.
What's this fat old twat wearing? Looks like an overcoat made of snot.

Its a Pork Scotch Jacket. Although its a hundred degrees in the shade there's still a chance a drop of rain might come along to ruin the fat ugly bastard's year.
by Kenny Spoffo-Grumpbeetle August 06, 2009
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