219 definitions by Jordan

Here are some reasons to be proud to be Canadian:

1. Smarties
2. Crispy Crunch, Coffee Crisp
3. The size of our footballs fields and one less down
4. Baseball is Canadian
5. Lacrosse is Canadian
6. Hockey is Canadian
7. Basketball is Canadian
8. Apple pie is Canadian
9. Mr. Dress-up kicks Mr. Rogers ass
10. Tim Hortons kicks Dunkin' Donuts ass
11. In the war of 1812, started by America, Canadians pushed
the Americans back...past their 'White House'. Then we burned it...and most of Washington, under the command of William Lyon McKenzie who was insane and hammered all the time. We got bored because they ran away, so we came home and partied...Go figure..
12. Canada has the largest French population that never surrendered to
Germany.
13. We have the largest English population that never ever surrendered or withdrew during any war to anyone, anywhere.
14. Our civil war was a bar fight that lasted a little over an hour.
15. The only person who was arrested in our civil war was an American
mercenary, who slept in and missed the whole thing... but showed up just in time to get caught.
16. We knew plaid was cool far before Seattle caught on.
17. The Hudsons Bay Company once owned over 10% of the earth's surface and is still around as the worlds oldest company.
18. The average dog sled team can kill and devour a full grown human in under 3 minutes.
19. We still know what to do with all the parts of a buffalo.
20. We don't marry our kin-folk.
21. We invented ski-doos, jet-skis, velcro, zippers, insulin, penicillin, zambonis, the telephone and short wave radios that save countless lives each year.
22. We ALL have frozen our tongues to something metal and lived to tell about it.
23. A Canadian invented Superman.

BUT MOST IMPORTANT!
24. The handles on our beer cases are big enough to fit your hands with mitts on. OOOoohhhhh Canada!!

Oh yeah... and our elections only take one day.
Hey, stick that in your pipe and toke it.
by Jordan January 26, 2004
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One who usually expects a favorable outcome.One who looks on the bright side of things, or takes hopeful views
Aaron says Jamie is very OPTIMIST. This makes Aaron a fucking tard and wrong.
by Jordan July 13, 2003
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Something you say after almost being killed by a Ford Ranger.
That fukinrainbow!
by Jordan August 18, 2003
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Short for homo, which is short for homosexual.
My roommate andy is a huge mo.
by Jordan March 11, 2005
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A gay person.

when playing the notes F-A-G on a guitar, it sounds like the notes B-A-G, just a bit lower in pitch.
"dude elliot, quit being such a lowbag and put on some real pants"
by Jordan March 22, 2005
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A pathetic fatass who sits on his computer all day eating burger king and trying to tell himself to ignore all the fat comments her receives. He one day hopes to control the burger king empire, so he doed not have to pay for the 30 burgers he eats a day. One day he is to realize he has no friends and will commit suicide.
by Jordan December 13, 2004
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