9 definitions by Johnny Hates Nova

1
Located in Miami, Florida, the Marlins were a franchise that began it's genesis in the early 1990's during the end of Major Leage Baseball's expansion boom. After settling in the former Don Shula stadium, the team was welcomed by a typical fiery fanbase that prides itself on being a "multi-cultural" society. Soon though the welcoming applause fell out the window, and the fans soon realized that like most expansion teams, this one sure did suck. After many mediocre to ill-failed seasons, the Marlins finally found success in 1996 after beating the Cleveland Indians in the Fall Classic. Fortunately for "Tribe Fans" it was actually a good thing that a worthless, economic failure had beaten their beloved original early twentieth century founded team, because the fanbase simply walked away after the Marlins failed and failed again in the next few seasons to close out the century looking like a true feces stain on Bud Selig's trousers. Of course, the fanbase would repeat their history again, by walking away from their team again, that they had so virulently supported during the 2003 World Series, when they defeated a very deserving Chicago Cubs squad to make it to the worst World Series ever to beat the undeserving "Evil Empire" Yankees. The Marlin fans are an odd sort, taking pride in investing their earned money on a team that wins terrible and forgettable 'Series. Of course, this just amounts to a group of truly uninterested and undevoted "Fairweather fans" that just show up IF their low scoring Marlins actually make it to the playoffs. The Marlins are once again finding the low point of the charts, as their forgettable players, fairweather fans and eyesore place in history books drift off into the Gulf of Worthlessness.
The Marlins only sell out when they are in the playoffs.

Yeah, the Marlins and the White Sox have won 3 of the worst World Series championships ever.
by Johnny Hates Nova April 28, 2006
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2
Having immigrated to the United States, whether it be legally or illegally, many Mexican youths become "Vatos" and "Esse's" to find solidarity and common bond within street gangs. These uneducated, Spanish slurring "drains on society" have no real life value at all, and further hinder the United States' "free lunch" social systems in terms of healthcare and housing. Like gangs of the past times and centuries, Mexican Gang Bangers identify themselves with stereotypical fashion statements and indemnifying traits, such as "murder tattoos". Most murder tattoos for these bottom feeders are tear drops down the corner of the eye, or crucifixes. Their fashion usually consists of Dickies worker pants, shaved heads, goateed facial hair, wife beater undershirts and flannel shirts, buttoned one at the top. Mexican Gang Bangers usually start their day with eating a healthy breakfast of methamphetamines or marijuana, then their day usually consists of sitting around mama's house, drinking 40 oz malt liquor and possibly a trip to the corner outside to try and hassle a white person out of their wallet or purse by means of gunpoint threats. Like gangs before, Mexican Gang Bangers drain a society of it's resources, because in the United States, "Something for Nothing" just doesn't work at all. Instead of attaining a job and putting into society through taxes, insurance, and labor, these greasers use free healthcare provided in low-income neighborhoods ar free clinics, and then spread HIV and other diseases through their use of drugs and sexual practices on children. Rather than get an education and learn to speak English, "Vatos" would rather use the age-old "Hispanic excuse" of "culture" as a means to justify their ignorance and uselessness in society as a whole subdivision of illiterate Mexican immigrants.
Mexican Gang Bangers like to sling crack and methamphetamines to naive people in their own community.

I saw a couple of Mexican Gang Bangers on the corner the other day, trying to intimidate middle class families walking by.

Mexican Gang Bangers don't learn to speak english, their "culture" caters to them and they don't have to.
by Johnny Hates Nova April 10, 2006
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3
A southern suburb of Washington, DC that is located in the rolling hills of northern Virginia. This community of "trust fund babies" and selfish, shallow "richers" will not allow economic growth or an actual working "blue collar" sect of people into it's town. Populated by rich coke heads that have old English style names such as "Chadwick Dunston Elffson Watley III", Middleburg is known for it's anti-gun, anti-religion, pro-abortion liberalism as well as it's talent to look down upon actual working people, because of all the "Old Money" floating around. "Fox Hunting", "Steeple Chase" as well as other wealthy English sports are the main attraction in this shallow place to live. If you don't have money, and your ancestors weren't Protestants from the Mayflower, don't bother going near this town. They'll chase you out with their Land-Rovers, Mercedes, and Cadillac Escalades.
If you're poor, don't bother visiting Middleburg, Virginia.
by Johnny Hates Nova August 04, 2005
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4
Out of the thousands of female soldiers and marines that have served combat tours in Iraq (notice how I DON'T include recognition of the two "taxi services" Air Force/Navy, that's for a reason for Iraq Veterans to know), many have served with remarkable distinction, overcoming tremendous odds in a military that is still primarily shifted towards the stronger and more suitable male sex. Many females have done their tour amidst personal choices and immense pressure not only on the streets of Iraq, but on the homefront as well. Then there are those females that use their limited status and limited population numbers to advantageous victories previously unheard of. Facing reality, there are far fewer females in the deployed combat forces of the Army and Marines, and many young, testosterone fueled males abjectively make regular, "plain jane" women into "Iraqi Cinderellas". Once considered average and not having any male attention at all on the shores of America, these females attract attention not even through their sheer will power or charm but by default of population and male libido. These females are normally called "mopeds" or even "fugly" back here in "the World" but become princesses in Iraq, and valued at a high price, use their pathetic bodies in such a way as to have services, bills, sexual favors, everyday tasks, and even financial support doled out in front of them by pathetic males looking for a cure to the "blue balls syndrome" that a mostly male environment brings. The all true formula of the Cinderella tale works in perfect the fact that at the end of a combat tour, these Iraqi Cinderellas turn back into hideous halflings, wondering why upon return to normal American society why men, even good looking men won't lay down in front of them at their beck and call.
Many times over "Iraqi Cinderellas" will sleep with upper level non-commissioned officers and commissioned officers so as to gain rank and personal favor.

Iraqi Cinderellas are constantly worried by the 11th month of the tour about the clock striking midnight, and that inevitable return to uglydom and normalcy that a redepolyment back to the United States will bring.

If you pay attention, many port o shitters in transient camps such as Camp Virginia contain the phrase "be ready Cinderellas, the pumpkin carriage is about to shrivel" or "Look out Cinderella, the clock is about to strike midnight!"
by Johnny Hates Nova June 04, 2006
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5
This "Steel Belt" area of the northern Midwest is another example of a dying breed in America that has become all too common in the last 20 years. Lake County is known for it's past historical achievements in gaining government contracts throughout 2 World Wars and the "Reaganomics" stockpiling of arms throughout the 1980's. The area prides itself on being one of the centers of steel and Industrial production along the "Steel Belt" from Erie, Pa up to Green Bay, Wi. However, in the last 15 years, the area continues to inflict misery upon it's inhabitants with it's increasing inflation of pricing in everything from rent ceilings to the subsidy of local unions, who hold politicians at a "gunpoint business" stance so as to continue their stranglehold upon the area's economy. Murder rates have continued to skyrocket in Lake County's cities such as Gary, Hammond and Merrillville, and the oversensitive Black community seems all to eager to pull out their freshly minted "race cards" to bait their way into local jobs and housing markets they intend to later destroy with drugs, gangbangers and lack of work ethic. Long past are the ghosts of "the American Dream" in this area, because quite frankly, a person CANNOT attain a decent job that adequately pays the high taxes and will allow that person to ascend their socio-economic ladder individually. In Lake County, labor unions hold basically all decent waged jobs and have established a vicious "glass ceiling" of hegemony over politics and society at large. Unskilled part time workers are victimized in terms of job availibility to biased companies that wish to hire insincere, lazy minorities to meet their "equal opportunity diversity status quo". This broken economy coupled with physically overcrowded, filthy, crime riddled streets makes this quite possibly the worst choice for a young person wishing to make something of themselves while trying to raise a family.
Welcome to Lake County, Indiana, owned by NIPSCO.
by Johnny Hates Nova March 20, 2006
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6
Throughout history, the "Indominable Spirit of Man" has harnessed many epic, great things. Electricity, the Wheel, firearms, and numerous others too easily mentionable. One thing that man has harnessed that negates itself and diminishes the creativity and genius of man is Marijuana. More specifically, one who feels the need to escape from their everyday life or society at large is commonly referred to as a "pothead" or "weedhead". Pathetic in nature, having a lack of real social skills, and influence are common reasons why people feel they need to smoke dope, or weed. A "doper" is a person in society that cannot function on their own, and needs a crutch to escape their anxiety or pressure with something. Many times relying on the good nature of an increasingly tolerant society, dopers escape their pathetic lives for a few hours of being hungry, lazy and non-motivated because in truth they are too afraid to confront their problem head on and solve whatever it may be, or they are simply too weak to actually do anything helpful about their "problem" that they may have to escape from. Dopers are usually found on street corners, trying to sell or pander to other easily influenced dopers or problem cases to gain profit for their next "fix". A day is not a day unless a doper ravages their senses with the pungent stink of marijuana, and often times beyond the slums and ghettoes of America, dopers can be found in redneck bars, rap concerts, welfare lines, low income housing, and Sublime cover band concerts in local dive bars. Because more and more prisons are full, more dopers are allowed out on the streets so that they may take advantage of the generosity of others and infest high schools with their lazy attitudes and non-existent work ethics. Dopers are an unnecessary part of society that prides itself on conversing slowly, sitting still on couches, and in general, not really bothering to do anything besides strum guitars and surf.
Dopers are an unnecessary part of society.

Dopers should be thrown in jail.
by Johnny Hates Nova March 29, 2006
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7
A long running, once popular Sport Utility Vehicle produced by Chevrolet. The Chevy Blazer enjoyed much success alongside the Ford Explorer and also Dodge's early attempts to cater to the outdoor enthusiasts that wished for a comfortable, multi-passenger off road capable vehicle. Throughout it's life span, the Chevrolet Blazer endured many style changes and upgrades. Unfortunately for the willing and naive American public, (myself being one, twice!) Chevrolet just stopped caring about quality parts and dependable automobiles 15 years ago and began outsourcing their plants to Mexico and other countries, so as to avoid the "mafioso" tactics of the UAW (Union of Auto Workers). Chevy notably relied on their "All American" attitude in the past, and tries to continue suckering the American public to this day into buying shit, defunct quality automobiles, such as their Blazer model. The Chevy Blazer roughly lasts 100,000 miles and then it begins to literally fall apart at the seams. Even religious drivers that spend money on fluid flushes and extra maintenance during routine oil changes are victimized by the gas guzzling, money sinking Chevy Blazer, and General Motors obviously couldn't be happier. Of course, GM isn't the only person at fault in all of the Blazer's catastrophies, the UAW with it's selfish business demands and continued hiring of lazy, unmotivated, bottom feeding ex convicts is mostly to blame, for their uncaring attitude clearly shows in their production element. The Chevrolet Blazer may go down as one of the worst built, cheaply manufactured automobiles in history. Great sympathy should be given to the poor, gullible souls stranded out on those American highways in subzero weather trying to locate a tow truck for their worthless, already broke Chevrolet Blazer.
$24 million dollars a day is what GM is losing every single day due in part to shit production and gas guzzling operating from the Chevrolet Blazer.

Please, abandon or destroy a Chevrolet Blazer and buy Toyota if you want to actually be able to afford food.
by Johnny Hates Nova April 12, 2006
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