Definitions by John Wesley

Feral Beaver 

Vaginas that used to be tame, loved and well kept that for one reason or another (divorce, inactivity, marriage!, loss of self respect and/or self esteem) have been allowed to revert back to their natural state and overgrown with pubic hair. aka: Feral Monkey

I hooked up with Cindy the other night and she has the biggest Feral Beaver i've ever seen.

You could see Tinas Feral Beaver from across the pool!

Feral Beaver by John Wesley February 11, 2008

Stray Human

A person who after years of no contact shows up or gets dropped off (usually after a divorce, but may just be sniffing around) on your door step because their miserable attempt at life has failed and they would like to hang around your family for a little while. Instead of making a good pet, they usually just eat all your food and shit on your carpet.

My mother-in-law runs the neighborhood stray human shelter.

Stray Human by John Wesley February 11, 2008

Cat Eyes 

The untanned area directly under a girls ass cheeks that resemble cat eyes when bent over. Resulting from neither the suns nor the tanning beds ability to shine there.

Shelly bent over and it looked like a giant pair of cat eyes staring back at me.

Cat Eyes by John Wesley February 11, 2008

Mansume 

The list of all the accomplishments, accolades, scores and awards of a man concerning who they have had sex with, how many partners they have had sex with and number of times, where, style, how and when. May also, but not necessarily, include information about ones Spank Bank, masturbatory habits, wish lists and references.
Usually a document that a man is typically only able to submit for viewing to another man. If being submitted to a female counterpart, said mansume may be edited to the extent of a CIA document concerning the JFK assassination.

1. Timmy really wants to bone that woman soon.
2. Timmy will never get laid if she finds his mansume.
1. Yeah, thats one fine mansume Timmy has, it's gonna look better when she's on it.

Mansume by John Wesley February 10, 2008

darwin baby 

A person so incredibly stupid that if it were not for the conveniences of modern technology and public safety, they would have been weeded out, starved or eaten way before they reached adulthood. So prominent is the unnatural selection that these people not only survive, they thrive and breed more darwin babies.

Darwin Baby: "I decided to change my own oil just to see if I could but I didnt know it would take so long to refill the new oil down that little tube where the dipstick is."
Casual Observer: "Darwin Baby"

darwin baby by John Wesley February 9, 2008

pootist 

An intellectually superior human who poots a lot. Follower of the teachings of Pootism. A devout pootist is referred to by their inner circle as a Pootist Monk.

Mike was a great Pootist and wise in the ways of Pootism.

pootist by John Wesley February 9, 2008

Fartwa

Pootist Holy War. So extreme, no one shall be left standing at the end of such carnage.

Mike the devout Pootist Monk called for a Fartwa to be carried out by all his followers.

Fartwa by John Wesley February 9, 2008