John Wesley's definitions

Backseat DJ

The bitch in the back seat on a road trip that will not shut the fuck up about what is on the radio but also thinks dance music is required to play no matter what the occasion or where you are going.

backseat DJ: "i wanna shake my booty!!!!"
driver: "shut the fuck up, it's 5a.m. and we are going to the airport."

by John Wesley February 12, 2008

Zeke-onomics

Economic theory that states lost wealth and missed financial opportunities will magically reappear at the end of ones career. Taken from Reaganomics where wealth trickles down from the top, zeke-onomics drizzles toward the rear.

1: "Sorry you didn't get that step raise ole chap, you'll make it up in the end."
2: "Thats some bullshit zeke-onomics"

by John Wesley February 11, 2008

Feral Beaver

Vaginas that used to be tame, loved and well kept that for one reason or another (divorce, inactivity, marriage!, loss of self respect and/or self esteem) have been allowed to revert back to their natural state and overgrown with pubic hair. aka: Feral Monkey

I hooked up with Cindy the other night and she has the biggest Feral Beaver i've ever seen.

You could see Tinas Feral Beaver from across the pool!

by John Wesley February 11, 2008

crap herder

Someone who can't resist a yard sale item no matter how fucking useless in either:
a) the attempt to resale said piece of shit for a quarter profit or...
b) thinks they will have a pretty good use for said item later

Patrick was such a crap herder, he picked up some broken tables from the trash collection pile and brought them to work.

by John Wesley February 9, 2008

Cat Eyes

The untanned area directly under a girls ass cheeks that resemble cat eyes when bent over. Resulting from neither the suns nor the tanning beds ability to shine there.

Shelly bent over and it looked like a giant pair of cat eyes staring back at me.

by John Wesley February 11, 2008

Dildopotamus

A dildo so large, one could find easier ways of inserting a hippo instead. Usually a gag gift, but you know if they make it somebody can sure the hell use it. As a derogatory remark, something (person, animal, thing, etc.) may be called a Dildopotamus in reference to the fact that besides looking like a dick, otherwise, they are useless.

I ordered some sex toys off the internet and they left this giant dildopotamus on my doorstep.

If you dont quit calling things a dildopotamus in front of the baby, shes going to wind up saying it.

by John Wesley February 13, 2008

Vollie

Volunteer Firefighter. Characterized by their custom maltese cross back window sticker and general disregard for driving safety while using their "flashers". Can also be spotted easily "off duty" (wal-mart, sonic, dollar general) wearing parts of their on-duty clothes and overtly apparent pagers. Most have a wallet badge and emergency trauma bag in their back seat containing just enough shit to get them in a slightly worse situation than they already are.

I had a fender bender and 2 Vollies stopped and held c-spine on me. Needless to say, I didn't panic and "felt" like I would be OK, mostly because they told me I would.

by John Wesley February 9, 2008