Not the brightest person: Who did you vote for in the 2008 presidential election?
Me: Sure as hell not McCain
Not the brightest person: So you voted for Obama?
Me: Put the puzzle together dipshit
by Jizzy Jan April 10, 2010
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Assgasm

When taking a huggeee crap, right as it drops into the water of the toilet, it creates a huge splash. The water from the splash then shoots up into your rectum causing a cold tingling sensation, somewhat like an orgasm, but cold. Thus causing an assgasm.
me:Dude i had to take a major shit, but the fucking splash gave me an Assgasm.
by Jizzy Jan February 08, 2010
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Schwimmwagon

A boat car-hybrid
Schwimmwagon,get it? Swim-wagon?
by Jizzy Jan January 08, 2010
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Julumber

A month that you use to get out of things that you don't want to do. Pronounced "Jew-Lumber". It often only makes people think you're a huge a-hole.
Guy 1: Hey when are you gonna get those survey results?

Witty jackass: On the 32 of Julumber

Guy 1: Prick...
by Jizzy Jan January 22, 2010
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Ouch I bit my lip! :(

Something you say when you bite your lip.

Could be changed to "Ouch I bit the inside of my cheek!"
Since they both hurt, and the likelihood of it happening again grows after every time you do it again.

And that shit hurts. A LOT.
Me: Ouch I bit my lip! :(
by Jizzy Jan February 07, 2010
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