Jeffrey Douglas's definitions

window of opportunity

A time where the chance for action (usually, but not always, sexual in nature) arises. When one sees such a chance, one must grab it (or, if you will, jump through the window of opportunity).

1. The Sexual Window of Opportunity. . .
Where one comes across a girl drinking a pint, and casually slips her a tab of rohypnol, thus creating a window of opportunity for easy sex later.

2. The non-Sexual Window of Opportunity. . .
Where one sees and old lady struggling with heavy shopping, the window of opportunity arises to help her. Remove a baguette, whack her over the head, and take her purse and sausages.

by Jeffrey Douglas February 1, 2007

miss of the season

1. term used by commentators to describe a footballers sometimes hilarious miss.

2. term used by friends to mock a male who has failed to shag the town bike

John Motson: "Rooney, Giggs and Ronaldo, now surely, Ye - Oh - no! miss of the season. Piss poor shot from Ronaldo

Kev: "As if you didn't bang Sally, she is soo easy!"
Gav: "Yea but i forgot my rhohypnol"
Kev: "Oh, mate, miss of the season!"

by Jeffrey Douglas November 19, 2006

tablature

Musical letters for weird musical types (esp. guitar). Used by people who depress others with their guitar playing in a large communal area by playing Jack Johnson ballads or Damien Rice derges.

Fred: "Life is bleak man, so i'm gonna play this depressing song i learned from tablature"
Ewan, looking depressed.

by Jeffrey Douglas September 18, 2008

wonky bollocks

pro-noun used as insult to anybody showing poor co-ordination

Henry: "Oh adam you've dropped that frisbee again you f*****g wonky bollock bastard"
Adam: "i really am a wonky bollocks minge"

by Jeffrey Douglas September 13, 2006

hard work

1) description of a task that requeires (too) much effort to complete.

2) description of a customer who breaks your balls making you do whatever they want and still leaving unsatisfied.

1)

" I was shagging that bird over from Hull last night, and it was only when i looked at her face i realised it was too much hard work. "

2)

" Jesus, he was hard work. Comes in here, asks for a pizza, with a pasta bake for a topping and a tiramusu for a side. And this is a Fish & Chip shop! Twat.

by Jeffrey Douglas December 12, 2008

Gay as a Dutch Window

To be very very gay, homosexual or shirtlifting. to define somebody as gay as a dutch window, the recipient of such horrific abuse, must have done something very poorly, acted in a queer fashion or displayed his effeminate side to a large degree.

Tipex is Gay as a Dutch Window as it smells and comes....in small bottles

by Jeffrey Douglas September 10, 2006

burden

Noun. Something that weighs you down. Usually a worry or a sore point you don't share with close friends or orangutangs.

You can also be a burden on someone else when you try and talk about your problems and worries to someone else.

Physical Hang ups, girlfriends, wife (wives) or debt. all of these are burdens.

Hayley: "I'm worried!"
Steve: "Shut up you have so many burdens! Don't become a burden yourself!"

by Jeffrey Douglas November 15, 2006