Jeffrey Douglas's definitions

burden

Noun. Something that weighs you down. Usually a worry or a sore point you don't share with close friends or orangutangs.

You can also be a burden on someone else when you try and talk about your problems and worries to someone else.

Physical Hang ups, girlfriends, wife (wives) or debt. all of these are burdens.

Hayley: "I'm worried!"
Steve: "Shut up you have so many burdens! Don't become a burden yourself!"

by Jeffrey Douglas November 15, 2006

Anti-clockwise

The way of left handed people. The opposite direction to how the little ticky things go on your spiderman themed wristwatch.

Many things go anti-clockwise, however to list them would make the world implode.

Craig: "That girl was seriously hot! It's a shame that she walks around that lamp post in an anti-clockwise fashion."

David: "To be fair.. she is left handed."

Craig: "Urgh..."

by Jeffrey Douglas February 10, 2007

Mole

A) a scientific term used to describe the amount of substance in grams, which has the same number of particles as there are in 12g of carbon 12. One mole of a substance contains 6.023x10`23 particles. This is obviously rad as it shows how tiny atoms and particles really are. They are smaller than bridget the midget and also smaller than the public's estimation of Jeremy Clarkson.

B) a small furry creature who is proficient at destroying peoples gardens and being short sighted.

Jenkins: "I love the whole idea of a mole. How incredible!"
Peter: "How so?"
Jenkins: "Just think, it makes a boy of 4ft9" look HUGE"

Mole #1: "I'm a mole"
Farmer: "Should have gone to specsavers"

by Jeffrey Douglas September 8, 2006

window of opportunity

A time where the chance for action (usually, but not always, sexual in nature) arises. When one sees such a chance, one must grab it (or, if you will, jump through the window of opportunity).

1. The Sexual Window of Opportunity. . .
Where one comes across a girl drinking a pint, and casually slips her a tab of rohypnol, thus creating a window of opportunity for easy sex later.

2. The non-Sexual Window of Opportunity. . .
Where one sees and old lady struggling with heavy shopping, the window of opportunity arises to help her. Remove a baguette, whack her over the head, and take her purse and sausages.

by Jeffrey Douglas February 1, 2007

Do a dad

Doing a dad is an act that is hilarious to those all around you but their laughter only drives you into the downward spiral known as doing a dad. Doing a dad shoots your emotive side into overdrive warp speed. It can start off small, but the tears keep coming until all that is left of someone doing a dad is a blithering mound of tears sniffles and soiled handkerchiefs. All it takes is a few jokes at the person's expense like prodding their man-breasts and saying "Gor blimey, they're like titties them, tubbs", then the water works come on much to the amusement of the audience.

The phrase comes from a real person, with real emotional displays, who regulary did a dad. Do a dad is now a common phrase all over the world, usually preceeded by don't.

Chris: "Waddle waddle! Ha! Bill, you walk like a penguin!"
Bill: "MMnnn. Boo hoo! <cry cry cry>"
Tom: "Oh god, don't cry about it!"
Chris: "Oh! C'mon don't do a dad."

by Jeffrey Douglas September 3, 2006

tip-off

A tip off is a handy piece of information given by one to another. Tip-offs have been used in history (see the examples).

Regular tip-off;
"Look out Bill, he's a Queer."

Historical tip-off;
"Look, here, Hitler has said Peace in our time!"
"Nah, bollocks nev, he's a Queer."

by Jeffrey Douglas November 23, 2006

miss of the season

1. term used by commentators to describe a footballers sometimes hilarious miss.

2. term used by friends to mock a male who has failed to shag the town bike

John Motson: "Rooney, Giggs and Ronaldo, now surely, Ye - Oh - no! miss of the season. Piss poor shot from Ronaldo

Kev: "As if you didn't bang Sally, she is soo easy!"
Gav: "Yea but i forgot my rhohypnol"
Kev: "Oh, mate, miss of the season!"

by Jeffrey Douglas November 19, 2006