40 definitions by Jeffrey Douglas
Without any doubt what so ever, 12 is the greatest number of all time. it's not likely that anyone does'nt know this but for those of you who want to be reminded of just how good 12 is here... Months in a Year? Hours in a.m? some of the finest rugby players have worn 12, the number of the inside centre jersey in union. The board of friends officialy recognized this, and one of it's main aims is to spread the knowledge of this fact. In the history of the universe,only 12 things have happened, numer 3 being dinosaurs and number 11 being star wars. this isn't a crackpot theory, throughout any given day you will see at least three 12 references. Snoop Dogg's favourite number is also 12.
by Jeffrey Douglas August 6, 2006
An event strictly involving only males. Activities on a lads night out include; drinking (alcohol), gambling, the muffin game and many many more.
The lads night had its origins (like fireworks) in the middle east, where Ghengis Khan would ride with his clan to a neighbouring tribe and destroy them. This version of a lads night did not catch on in europe.
The breakthrough in europe for the lads night came with Schiller (Goethe's best friend) in the 18th Century. He called it the gentleman's petit renaissance. These nights generally involved silhouette making and shirades.
At around the same time in the emerging states of america, the english were enjoying lads nights. The americans did not appreciate these evenings of drunken revelry, and declared war. This ended (temporarily) the lads night in the Americas.
Centuries later, the weight of being without a lads night society took its toll. America's economy crashed and the country went into a depression sending shockwaves throughout the world. President Hoover saw the mistake and called upon a lads night revival, giving tax breaks to those who threw the best poker nights and owned the best laser challenge sets.
In the present day, the lads night out has lost it's way slightly. It is no longer the driving political power it once was. Taken over by the proles and the masses it has fallen into disrepute. More and more lads nights end in injury and arrests.
The future of the lads night is then unclear. Perhaps it will undergo a resurgance in popularity, but it faces stiff competition from chick flicks and aids.
The lads night had its origins (like fireworks) in the middle east, where Ghengis Khan would ride with his clan to a neighbouring tribe and destroy them. This version of a lads night did not catch on in europe.
The breakthrough in europe for the lads night came with Schiller (Goethe's best friend) in the 18th Century. He called it the gentleman's petit renaissance. These nights generally involved silhouette making and shirades.
At around the same time in the emerging states of america, the english were enjoying lads nights. The americans did not appreciate these evenings of drunken revelry, and declared war. This ended (temporarily) the lads night in the Americas.
Centuries later, the weight of being without a lads night society took its toll. America's economy crashed and the country went into a depression sending shockwaves throughout the world. President Hoover saw the mistake and called upon a lads night revival, giving tax breaks to those who threw the best poker nights and owned the best laser challenge sets.
In the present day, the lads night out has lost it's way slightly. It is no longer the driving political power it once was. Taken over by the proles and the masses it has fallen into disrepute. More and more lads nights end in injury and arrests.
The future of the lads night is then unclear. Perhaps it will undergo a resurgance in popularity, but it faces stiff competition from chick flicks and aids.
Typical 'lads night' venues
The house. (for poor folk)
The dog track. (for rich folk)
The country retreat. (for cottagers)
Stock phrases for a lads night (and some to avoid!)
DO SAY : - -
"MORE BEER!"
"Women are pure evil."
"That Mel Gibson really gets on my titties"
DO NOT SAY!: - -
"Oh no, i'm driving"
"Can't we just see our girlfriend/wife/sibling?& quot;
"Look guys, i brought legally blonde! "
A Lads night is just what i need
The house. (for poor folk)
The dog track. (for rich folk)
The country retreat. (for cottagers)
Stock phrases for a lads night (and some to avoid!)
DO SAY : - -
"MORE BEER!"
"Women are pure evil."
"That Mel Gibson really gets on my titties"
DO NOT SAY!: - -
"Oh no, i'm driving"
"Can't we just see our girlfriend/wife/sibling?& quot;
"Look guys, i brought legally blonde! "
A Lads night is just what i need
by Jeffrey Douglas January 31, 2007
mad for it is a condition suffered exclusively in the greater manchester region. Becoming mad for it often stems from over-excitement from listening to the happy mondays or stone roses. Being mad for it means something similar to a state of excited anticipation. The after effects of being mad for it are hangovers, a sausage sellotaped to one's neck and a really ugly bird who is the cousin of John Squire. apparantly.
by Jeffrey Douglas November 15, 2006
Musical letters for weird musical types (esp. guitar). Used by people who depress others with their guitar playing in a large communal area by playing Jack Johnson ballads or Damien Rice derges.
Fred: "Life is bleak man, so i'm gonna play this depressing song i learned from tablature"
Ewan, looking depressed.
Ewan, looking depressed.
by Jeffrey Douglas September 15, 2006
A time where the chance for action (usually, but not always, sexual in nature) arises. When one sees such a chance, one must grab it (or, if you will, jump through the window of opportunity).
1. The Sexual Window of Opportunity. . .
Where one comes across a girl drinking a pint, and casually slips her a tab of rohypnol, thus creating a window of opportunity for easy sex later.
2. The non-Sexual Window of Opportunity. . .
Where one sees and old lady struggling with heavy shopping, the window of opportunity arises to help her. Remove a baguette, whack her over the head, and take her purse and sausages.
Where one comes across a girl drinking a pint, and casually slips her a tab of rohypnol, thus creating a window of opportunity for easy sex later.
2. The non-Sexual Window of Opportunity. . .
Where one sees and old lady struggling with heavy shopping, the window of opportunity arises to help her. Remove a baguette, whack her over the head, and take her purse and sausages.
by Jeffrey Douglas January 27, 2007
Lesbians.
Coming from the theory that women who live together will eventually come into a menstrual harmony and go through their cycle at the same time.
Coming from the theory that women who live together will eventually come into a menstrual harmony and go through their cycle at the same time.
Sam: "Them two behind the bar! They've been together years now. Bloody period pals, i'm tellin' ya!"
by Jeffrey Douglas February 5, 2007
The best thing to do when you are dumped by your girlfriend. go out and pull an old bird. the game consists of a pack of young males who attempt to shag the brains out of an attractive OLDER woman. Fuelled by booze these young males are letting themselves in for months of ribbing. Another problem is; when on boxing day, this one night stand turns up and is your mum's best friend, or dad's ex.
Alternatively, grab-a-granny could mean mugging a female pensioner.
Alternatively, grab-a-granny could mean mugging a female pensioner.
Mark: "Oh no, i'm crushed. My janine has dumped me. Oh, woe is me."
Keith: "No worries bud. We're out tonight and we'll partake in grab-a-granny"
OR
Baz: "I need some cash for some crack and a whore."
Bez: "Ok, let's grab-a-granny, and claim it was noel edmonds."
Keith: "No worries bud. We're out tonight and we'll partake in grab-a-granny"
OR
Baz: "I need some cash for some crack and a whore."
Bez: "Ok, let's grab-a-granny, and claim it was noel edmonds."
by Jeffrey Douglas November 24, 2006