Definitions by Jbt003

Dad parade 

When a group of families gets together and one of the kids convinces their dad to carry them, especially on the shoulder, it triggers the other kids to force their fathers to match the first dad's antics...

Kid 1: I'm tired. Carry me?
Dad 1: okay
Kids 2 through N: daddy - I'm tired...carry me!!! I said carry me like kid 1's dad! His dad obviously loves him more than you love me!

Mom 1: don't look now mom 2...it's the dad parade...
Mom 2: oh no - dad 2 hurt his back last week and was just starting to get better...
Mom 1: blame my husband - he should know better than to trigger a dad parade...

Dad parade by Jbt003 June 30, 2014

Prayer brake

The sudden merge to the far right lane and slowing from 90 down to 50mph after realizing you've just flown by a policeman. Normally done in the hope that the policeman didn't clock you as you went by and that you won't get a ticket.

Hey - take a prayer brake - you just flew by a cop with his radar out.

Prayer brake by Jbt003 July 4, 2009

Wearin' your alzheimers 

When a person is called out for wearing the same outfit within a short space of time

M1: You are wearin' your alzheimers today you forgetful motherfu**er.
Weren't you in that same stupid lookin shirt yesterday?
M2: yeah - Im just too broke to do laundry right now.

Wearin' your alzheimers by Jbt003 January 29, 2009

excrukea 

concatenation of excruciating and ikea. It is the extreme pain and agony felt by a straight male around the start of the second hour after being dragged to an Ikea store. This pain is normally due to both a realization of how much time has been lost wandering around the store as well as the amount of money he is about to spend on veneer.

my wife took me to the ikea to get an end table - when she started looking at chairs as well I felt severe pangs of excrukea.

excrukea by Jbt003 August 24, 2008

zohan 

(-ed) (-s):
The action of swinging one's leg vertically high in the air, almost parallel with the body. Much akin to the action a stripper makes during a floor show, however with the intent of showing off one's shoes or foot/ankle jewelry.

OMG - My boss just zohaned me to show me her new Gucci shoes. That was totally inappropriate. Someone needs to talk to her before she zohans the VP.

zohan by Jbt003 May 28, 2008

junior man pad 

The apartment of a heterosexual bachelor that is extra-ordinarily well decorated, enough so that his sexuality is questioned.

Nice junior man pad - i ain't seen a guys place deco'd out like this before -you sure you're not gay?

junior man pad by Jbt003 November 6, 2007

cyberscort 

What you call your on-line significant other, i.e. the person you are in an a relationship with if that relationship is only digital(via chatting on-line). A person you have never met, but have feelings for.

Scott is my cyberscort. We chat all the time, but haven't had disenchantment yet.

cyberscort by Jbt003 March 28, 2007