The dynamo is the process that controls the Earths magnetic field. It is a boss thing to learn about. The Earths liquid outer core composed of iron convects under the influence of the inner core boundary and the core mantle boundary, and this movement of the conduting fluid over the Earths magnetic field lines produce electrical currents which in turn sustain the magnetic field. All really rather clever stuff.
Boy: "Teacher, why does the Earth have magnetic Poles?"
Teacher: "Because Pixies put it there."
Head Teacher: "No, it's because of the Dynamo action!"
Teacher: "Because Pixies put it there."
Head Teacher: "No, it's because of the Dynamo action!"
by Jamie Douglas August 26, 2006
A nightclub frequented by women of low standard who are out to show off there wares in the hope of a sly grope or of making out. These women are normally over 40 or under 18, and most would be mistaken for hookers if they were seen in natural light.
A cattle market is the sort of place that male first year undergraduate students at university go all the time in an effort to get their end away, but this invariably results in the guilty boys leaving the venue with an itch.
The term derives because the women in these clubs are essentially showing themselves off in the hope of being taken home, just as cattle are shown off at cattle markets in the hope of being sold.
A cattle market is the sort of place that male first year undergraduate students at university go all the time in an effort to get their end away, but this invariably results in the guilty boys leaving the venue with an itch.
The term derives because the women in these clubs are essentially showing themselves off in the hope of being taken home, just as cattle are shown off at cattle markets in the hope of being sold.
Bill: "Let's go down Icon and Diva!"
Pete: "We can't go there, it's a right cattle market!"
"Ooh, I was in Creation last night and pulled this slapper - now I have an itch! Serves me right for visiting such a cattle market!"
"Let's go down to Gatecrasher - I hear it's a real cattle market down there!"
Pete: "We can't go there, it's a right cattle market!"
"Ooh, I was in Creation last night and pulled this slapper - now I have an itch! Serves me right for visiting such a cattle market!"
"Let's go down to Gatecrasher - I hear it's a real cattle market down there!"
by Jamie Douglas January 05, 2007
A really, really, really, really pasty white skin tone. When someone gets an xbox they invariably spend too much time indoors playing it, and the lack of sunlight they recieve results in a lack of melanin in the skin, turning them albino white.
Hilariously, this insult should be applied to people who through no fault of their own cannot develop a dark tan, such as the elderly, ginger-haired folk and computer nerds who should know better.
Hilariously, this insult should be applied to people who through no fault of their own cannot develop a dark tan, such as the elderly, ginger-haired folk and computer nerds who should know better.
by Jamie Douglas September 06, 2006
Someones who's really vain and makes an unecessary effort with their appearance e.g. a well oiled, beautifully bronzed sunbather at a tourist resort, or a cool kid with too much gel in their hair. The phrase was first used in german (lackierter Affe), and is a lovely description of that loathsome type of person.
by Jamie Douglas September 06, 2006
A time of week, originating from mathematicians in the northern town of Sheffield, when all pens must be dropped, all PC's powered down and the weekend must kick in.
friday @ 5 must be accompanied by beer drinking, music playing, bar snack munching and general chat about anything but work.
Acceptable topics of conversation include movies, art, sport, music, politics, travel, family, science, literature, food & drink, etc..
friday @ 5 must be accompanied by beer drinking, music playing, bar snack munching and general chat about anything but work.
Acceptable topics of conversation include movies, art, sport, music, politics, travel, family, science, literature, food & drink, etc..
by Jamie Douglas February 23, 2007
Scott: "Hey Phil, have you seen the new girl Tracy?"
Phil: "Yeah Scott, but I hear she's got real margarine legs!"
Phil: "Yeah Scott, but I hear she's got real margarine legs!"
by Jamie Douglas September 24, 2006
A hybrid plant bred using the seeds from a banana and a pumpkin. It is grown exclusively in Peasingwold, North Yorkshire (see below).
The banapkin has a soft leathery outer skin, which is a sort of dirty yellow/orange colour and is usually not eaten. It has an extended spherical shape, not dissimilar to a rugby football except the banapkin is slightly bent (like a boomerang). The inside is soft and delicious. It may be eaten raw, or better cooked (see below). The banapkin is a so called superfood, as many exceptional health benefits are associated with it.
-Peasingwold-
The village of Peasingwold, North Yorkshire, was belatedly added to the world map when in 1999 a student at Peasingwold technical horticultural college developed a now patented technique to fuse together the seeds of a pumpkin and a banana. The student, Mark Foe, sold his technique to the local working mens club for a pint of John Smiths and a bag of prawn cocktail flavour crisps. The patent is now worth an estimated £350million. In 2005 the AA added Peasingwold to it's list of 3 places to see before you die, where it replaced London.
-Physical Properties-
Weight (approx): 1 (kg)
Volume (approx): 5 (dm-3)
Electrical conductivity: 10 (Sm-1)
pH: 5
Magnetic permeability: 500 (Hm-1)
Refractive index: 4.2
Speed of sound in banapkin: 300,000 (ms-1)
Viscosity: 999,999,999 (Pa-s)
-Cooking-
Although the banapkin may be eaten raw it is best cooked. A small amount of salt brings out it's tasty flavour which may best be described as a cross between a potato and chicken. Many famous chefs including Gordon Ramsey, Jamie Oliver, Delia Smith and Shaque O'Neil recommend roasting the flesh of the banapkin before serving on a bed of fresh salad. Gas Mark 9, 300C or 480F for around 3 hours a pound plus 20 minutes is the suggested roasting guideline. I personally enjoy banapkin in my man breakfast and often fry it up with the bacon.
-Cost-
The banapkin is an inexpensive treat, and may be bought at any branch of HSBC bank for the same price as seven loaves of bread or five fishes. The price of the banapkin did fall shortly after the tradgedy of 9/11, when malicious apple farmers claimed that trained banapkins and not members of Al-Quaeda had masterminded the attacks.
-Health Benefits-
The banapkin is chock full of antioxidants, the chemicals scientists believe slow and in some cases even reverse the ageing process. In addition the banapkin has vitamins A, B12, C, D, E, W, riboflavin and tin, and is a good source of protein and other long-lasting slow-burning fuels. Historically banapkin was a herbal remedy used to cure aesthetic disfigurement, although the success of this treatment has yet to be scientifically proven.
-Media Coverage-
Given the many exciting things connected with the banapkin, media converage has been surprisingly limited. The BBC news anchor Huw Edwards was recently seen noshing on a raw banapkin at the start of the 6'o'clock news, although he denied this and claimed he had in fact been noshing on fellow presenter Fiona Bruce. The Times newspaper ran a four page spread on the banapkin in 2003 and this prompted mass consumption of the peculiar delight. It is believed that the poor media coverage of the banapkin is connected with the strangle hold that right-wing corner shop owners, who are banned from selling the produce, have over the world media.
-The Future-
The future of the banapkin is shrouded in mystery. In 2006 the Peasingwold working mens club sold the patent to an unnamed Australian company for an 8 figure sum. The only thing known about the company are their initials, ACB, which has led many leading sports experts to conclude that the success of the Aussies in the 05/06 ashes series was due to the banapkin in addition to other performance enhancing substances.
The banapkin has a soft leathery outer skin, which is a sort of dirty yellow/orange colour and is usually not eaten. It has an extended spherical shape, not dissimilar to a rugby football except the banapkin is slightly bent (like a boomerang). The inside is soft and delicious. It may be eaten raw, or better cooked (see below). The banapkin is a so called superfood, as many exceptional health benefits are associated with it.
-Peasingwold-
The village of Peasingwold, North Yorkshire, was belatedly added to the world map when in 1999 a student at Peasingwold technical horticultural college developed a now patented technique to fuse together the seeds of a pumpkin and a banana. The student, Mark Foe, sold his technique to the local working mens club for a pint of John Smiths and a bag of prawn cocktail flavour crisps. The patent is now worth an estimated £350million. In 2005 the AA added Peasingwold to it's list of 3 places to see before you die, where it replaced London.
-Physical Properties-
Weight (approx): 1 (kg)
Volume (approx): 5 (dm-3)
Electrical conductivity: 10 (Sm-1)
pH: 5
Magnetic permeability: 500 (Hm-1)
Refractive index: 4.2
Speed of sound in banapkin: 300,000 (ms-1)
Viscosity: 999,999,999 (Pa-s)
-Cooking-
Although the banapkin may be eaten raw it is best cooked. A small amount of salt brings out it's tasty flavour which may best be described as a cross between a potato and chicken. Many famous chefs including Gordon Ramsey, Jamie Oliver, Delia Smith and Shaque O'Neil recommend roasting the flesh of the banapkin before serving on a bed of fresh salad. Gas Mark 9, 300C or 480F for around 3 hours a pound plus 20 minutes is the suggested roasting guideline. I personally enjoy banapkin in my man breakfast and often fry it up with the bacon.
-Cost-
The banapkin is an inexpensive treat, and may be bought at any branch of HSBC bank for the same price as seven loaves of bread or five fishes. The price of the banapkin did fall shortly after the tradgedy of 9/11, when malicious apple farmers claimed that trained banapkins and not members of Al-Quaeda had masterminded the attacks.
-Health Benefits-
The banapkin is chock full of antioxidants, the chemicals scientists believe slow and in some cases even reverse the ageing process. In addition the banapkin has vitamins A, B12, C, D, E, W, riboflavin and tin, and is a good source of protein and other long-lasting slow-burning fuels. Historically banapkin was a herbal remedy used to cure aesthetic disfigurement, although the success of this treatment has yet to be scientifically proven.
-Media Coverage-
Given the many exciting things connected with the banapkin, media converage has been surprisingly limited. The BBC news anchor Huw Edwards was recently seen noshing on a raw banapkin at the start of the 6'o'clock news, although he denied this and claimed he had in fact been noshing on fellow presenter Fiona Bruce. The Times newspaper ran a four page spread on the banapkin in 2003 and this prompted mass consumption of the peculiar delight. It is believed that the poor media coverage of the banapkin is connected with the strangle hold that right-wing corner shop owners, who are banned from selling the produce, have over the world media.
-The Future-
The future of the banapkin is shrouded in mystery. In 2006 the Peasingwold working mens club sold the patent to an unnamed Australian company for an 8 figure sum. The only thing known about the company are their initials, ACB, which has led many leading sports experts to conclude that the success of the Aussies in the 05/06 ashes series was due to the banapkin in addition to other performance enhancing substances.
-Recipie for Banapkin Pie-
You will need:
4 banapkins
1 tbl spoon of salt
1 family sized, ready made, chicken pie
Directions:
Peel the banapkins and mash up the flesh using a fork. As you mash the flesh, add all the salt gradually.
Take the pie, and cut it in half. Scoop out the filling so you are just left with a 'pie shell'. Feed the removed pie filling to your neighbours or pet grizzly.
Stuff the mashed banapkin into both halves of the 'pie shell'. Now bring the two halves of the pie together so it looks like a complete pie. Sprinkle a little more salt on top of the pie, and roast in the oven for around 3 hours on gas mark 9, 300C, 480F. Serve with red wine.
You will need:
4 banapkins
1 tbl spoon of salt
1 family sized, ready made, chicken pie
Directions:
Peel the banapkins and mash up the flesh using a fork. As you mash the flesh, add all the salt gradually.
Take the pie, and cut it in half. Scoop out the filling so you are just left with a 'pie shell'. Feed the removed pie filling to your neighbours or pet grizzly.
Stuff the mashed banapkin into both halves of the 'pie shell'. Now bring the two halves of the pie together so it looks like a complete pie. Sprinkle a little more salt on top of the pie, and roast in the oven for around 3 hours on gas mark 9, 300C, 480F. Serve with red wine.
by Jamie Douglas January 15, 2007