52 definitions by Jamie Douglas

The cricketing bible.

Wisden is something useful to keep by your shitter for those long visits.
Quick, let's all run down the shop and get this years Wisden!

I'm off to the can for a nice long dump, let me grab my Wisden!
by Jamie Douglas December 7, 2006
Get the Wisden mug.
Scouse term for a bread roll.
Eh! Eh! Eh! Eh! You kidda, gimme that barm!
by Jamie Douglas December 18, 2006
Get the barm mug.
Weather is the thing that makes blighty so unbearable. In blighty weather is terrible all the time, so much so that many people choose to move abroad or simply jump into the ocean and try to swim to another country. The general weather pattern acorss the United Kingdom is rain, rain, rain. Then a cold front. Then rain, rain, rain. Then freezing winds and snow. Then rain, rain, rain. The Roman Emperor Caeser once abandoned his quest to rule Britain because of the weather, and during the second world war the Luftwaffe were defeated in the Battle of Britain because the steel that made their aeroplanes rusted within minutes of coming into contact with British weather.
Tim: "How's the weather?"
Jerry: "You know, sunny!"
by Jamie Douglas September 1, 2006
Get the weather mug.
The sixth, seventh or first night of the week, depending on your religion.

Saturday night is the most important invention in human history. Saturday night is the reason most conflicts have been resolved and is responsible for some of mankinds most excellent discoveries.

Acceptable ways to spend Saturday night include going out to the cinema, drinking beer, watching the footy highlights with your mates, clubbing, eating kebab, beating the wife and/or kids, and spending a dirty night out. Unacceptable ways to spend a Saturday night include going to bed early and being ill.

Without Saturday night it is conceivable that the couple of protein strands that joined in the primodial goo to form Earths first ever life form would never have done so, and all life as we know it would not exist.

Several other good facts about Saturday night include that it's impossible to fail to pull a slapper, it's the only night apart from Wednesday that it's legal to dine in an Indian restaurant, it's my favourite night of the week and it follows Friday night.
"It's Saturday Night! Let's get ready to rumble!"

Jim: "What shall we do?"
Pete: "Well it is Saturday night. Lets drink beer, get a kebab and go home to beat the wife and kids."

"I'm so happy it's saturday night, it's my favourite night of the week."

George: "Hey Saddam, it's Saturday night. What do you say we forget all this silly sentenced to death nonsense and go to the cinema?"
Saddam: "Infidel."
by Jamie Douglas November 20, 2006
Get the saturday night mug.
Really really really sweaty. Imagine a chubby fellow dining out at his local pastry shop - he stands, salivating, over the counter wondering which fatty treat to shove down his gullet, and then indecision strikes and he sweats over what to order. That's how sweaty you are if you're sweating like a fat man in a cake shop.

Incidently, if you are a fat person and want a way to avoid such problems as choosing which cake, my advice is to simply buy everything. Problem solved
Kirsty: 'How was your squash game?'
Jim: 'Great, but now I'm sweating like a fat man in a cake shop.'
by Jamie Douglas August 26, 2006
Get the sweating like a fat man in a cake shop mug.
An individual talented in all spheres of human endeavour, including but not limited to sports, art, science, war, philosophy and music.

Some renaissance men of great repute include Leonardo Da Vinci and Goethe.

If you try and think of examples of Renaissance men, remember that it is not enough that they have brilliant minds (hence Einstein is out), nor is it enough that they are fine sportsmen (hence no Carl Lewis) or are well hung and virile (so no Shergar) and nor is it sufficient that they are musically gifted (so we omit Beethoven). It is a requirement that they are talented in ALL these areas.

I myself am a renaissance man, as I am a fine athelete, an excellent scholar, have an ear for music a talent for art and a way with the ladies.
#1: "What talent that young Douglas lad has!"
#2: "True, he is gifted at sports, academia and the arts."
#1: "Yes, he's a true renaissance man!"

Man: "Hey baby, wanna get a drink - I'm a real renaissance man!"
Woman: "Ooooh, OK!"
by Jamie Douglas December 1, 2006
Get the renaissance man mug.