Golfing game. When a man fails to drive the ladies tee-box it is customary to force him to turn his trouser/shorts pockets inside out, unzip his fly, and walk the length of the hole with his johnson out, thus making an elephants image around his crotch.
Cruel variations of this game include consuming a quiagh (a small silver tureen used to formally serve whiskey at gatherings) of whiskey before every new hole when playing in a fourball. The first 3 players (determined by the lowest score at the previous hole) can sip as much or as little as they like, but the fourth player must finish what is left. This normally results in at least one player getting totally mashed and spaffing their drives only a handful of yards.
Cruel variations of this game include consuming a quiagh (a small silver tureen used to formally serve whiskey at gatherings) of whiskey before every new hole when playing in a fourball. The first 3 players (determined by the lowest score at the previous hole) can sip as much or as little as they like, but the fourth player must finish what is left. This normally results in at least one player getting totally mashed and spaffing their drives only a handful of yards.
"Ooops, failed to make the ladies tee again, you know what that means - elephant golf!"
"Let's hit the golf course with a bottle of dram for some elephant golf"
"OK, rules for todays golf competition. No ladies on the course, and elephant golf to be played at all times."
"Let's hit the golf course with a bottle of dram for some elephant golf"
"OK, rules for todays golf competition. No ladies on the course, and elephant golf to be played at all times."
by Jamie Douglas September 08, 2006
Quick, let's all run down the shop and get this years Wisden!
I'm off to the can for a nice long dump, let me grab my Wisden!
I'm off to the can for a nice long dump, let me grab my Wisden!
by Jamie Douglas December 07, 2006
by Jamie Douglas December 18, 2006
The sixth, seventh or first night of the week, depending on your religion.
Saturday night is the most important invention in human history. Saturday night is the reason most conflicts have been resolved and is responsible for some of mankinds most excellent discoveries.
Acceptable ways to spend Saturday night include going out to the cinema, drinking beer, watching the footy highlights with your mates, clubbing, eating kebab, beating the wife and/or kids, and spending a dirty night out. Unacceptable ways to spend a Saturday night include going to bed early and being ill.
Without Saturday night it is conceivable that the couple of protein strands that joined in the primodial goo to form Earths first ever life form would never have done so, and all life as we know it would not exist.
Several other good facts about Saturday night include that it's impossible to fail to pull a slapper, it's the only night apart from Wednesday that it's legal to dine in an Indian restaurant, it's my favourite night of the week and it follows Friday night.
Saturday night is the most important invention in human history. Saturday night is the reason most conflicts have been resolved and is responsible for some of mankinds most excellent discoveries.
Acceptable ways to spend Saturday night include going out to the cinema, drinking beer, watching the footy highlights with your mates, clubbing, eating kebab, beating the wife and/or kids, and spending a dirty night out. Unacceptable ways to spend a Saturday night include going to bed early and being ill.
Without Saturday night it is conceivable that the couple of protein strands that joined in the primodial goo to form Earths first ever life form would never have done so, and all life as we know it would not exist.
Several other good facts about Saturday night include that it's impossible to fail to pull a slapper, it's the only night apart from Wednesday that it's legal to dine in an Indian restaurant, it's my favourite night of the week and it follows Friday night.
"It's Saturday Night! Let's get ready to rumble!"
Jim: "What shall we do?"
Pete: "Well it is Saturday night. Lets drink beer, get a kebab and go home to beat the wife and kids."
"I'm so happy it's saturday night, it's my favourite night of the week."
George: "Hey Saddam, it's Saturday night. What do you say we forget all this silly sentenced to death nonsense and go to the cinema?"
Saddam: "Infidel."
Jim: "What shall we do?"
Pete: "Well it is Saturday night. Lets drink beer, get a kebab and go home to beat the wife and kids."
"I'm so happy it's saturday night, it's my favourite night of the week."
George: "Hey Saddam, it's Saturday night. What do you say we forget all this silly sentenced to death nonsense and go to the cinema?"
Saddam: "Infidel."
by Jamie Douglas November 20, 2006
Really really really sweaty. Imagine a chubby fellow dining out at his local pastry shop - he stands, salivating, over the counter wondering which fatty treat to shove down his gullet, and then indecision strikes and he sweats over what to order. That's how sweaty you are if you're sweating like a fat man in a cake shop.
Incidently, if you are a fat person and want a way to avoid such problems as choosing which cake, my advice is to simply buy everything. Problem solved
Incidently, if you are a fat person and want a way to avoid such problems as choosing which cake, my advice is to simply buy everything. Problem solved
Kirsty: 'How was your squash game?'
Jim: 'Great, but now I'm sweating like a fat man in a cake shop.'
Jim: 'Great, but now I'm sweating like a fat man in a cake shop.'
by Jamie Douglas August 26, 2006
1) To be exhausted from a hard days work.
2) Unable to get wood due to excessive knobbing.
3) A gay phrase used by douchebags to try and make them believe they're having more sex than you.
2) Unable to get wood due to excessive knobbing.
3) A gay phrase used by douchebags to try and make them believe they're having more sex than you.
by Jamie Douglas September 24, 2006
An individual talented in all spheres of human endeavour, including but not limited to sports, art, science, war, philosophy and music.
Some renaissance men of great repute include Leonardo Da Vinci and Goethe.
If you try and think of examples of Renaissance men, remember that it is not enough that they have brilliant minds (hence Einstein is out), nor is it enough that they are fine sportsmen (hence no Carl Lewis) or are well hung and virile (so no Shergar) and nor is it sufficient that they are musically gifted (so we omit Beethoven). It is a requirement that they are talented in ALL these areas.
I myself am a renaissance man, as I am a fine athelete, an excellent scholar, have an ear for music a talent for art and a way with the ladies.
Some renaissance men of great repute include Leonardo Da Vinci and Goethe.
If you try and think of examples of Renaissance men, remember that it is not enough that they have brilliant minds (hence Einstein is out), nor is it enough that they are fine sportsmen (hence no Carl Lewis) or are well hung and virile (so no Shergar) and nor is it sufficient that they are musically gifted (so we omit Beethoven). It is a requirement that they are talented in ALL these areas.
I myself am a renaissance man, as I am a fine athelete, an excellent scholar, have an ear for music a talent for art and a way with the ladies.
#1: "What talent that young Douglas lad has!"
#2: "True, he is gifted at sports, academia and the arts."
#1: "Yes, he's a true renaissance man!"
Man: "Hey baby, wanna get a drink - I'm a real renaissance man!"
Woman: "Ooooh, OK!"
#2: "True, he is gifted at sports, academia and the arts."
#1: "Yes, he's a true renaissance man!"
Man: "Hey baby, wanna get a drink - I'm a real renaissance man!"
Woman: "Ooooh, OK!"
by Jamie Douglas December 01, 2006