Definitions by James Headfield

Resting Bitch Face Credit Union

RBFCU is a credit union based in San Antonio. Back around 2013, I noticed that RBF could stand for resting bitch face, and started spreading it the term. Today, most of the employees themselves have heard it. You're welcome, everybody!

I'm sure I'll get a better car loan out of Resting Bitch Face Credit Union
.

Resting Bitch Face Credit Union by James Headfield December 31, 2023

theochemy 

The attempt to turn basic, established religious ideas or personalities into new and better ones.

Through theochemy, one noted practicioner tried to combine Cupid and L. Ron Hubbard.

theochemy by James Headfield March 14, 2020

Coronavirus the Movie

2021 Romantic Disease Drama with the famous ending where the two main characters go in for the big kiss at the subway station. And then, all the people around them boo and hiss them, and cover their mouths and vomit at the sight of them. But then, there's an orchestral swell because we're happy for them. And the credits roll.

Once it comes out on Blu-Ray, I look forward to getting nice and intimate with Coronavirus the Movie.

Coronavirus the Movie by James Headfield March 14, 2020

unflippinbelievable

Unflippinbelilevable is a safe and acceptable way to say the f-bomb to whomever, or whatever, you wish as your recipient. Members of the clergy, children, elders, dogs, well-done steaks, and televisions are common recipients of the un-f-bomb.

This avocado is already half-rotten? Unflippinbelievable!

unflippinbelievable by James Headfield March 10, 2020

Homer 

Homer is the unfortunate mascot of the Home Depot, Atlanta's projection of how their own workers are expected to come across: Dumpy, overweight, short, cartoonish, caricaturized, and unwilling to make eye contact with you.

"What in the world am I looking at? Dopey showed up?"
"Nah. That's actually Homer."

Homer by James Headfield March 10, 2020

Cardamom 

Just like it sounds. A cardamom is a woman who is remarkably attractive and youthful in appearance, and also has children. She still gets carded when purchasing vodka.

"Yeah I see the brat with you, but I'll still need to see your I.D."
"Are you saying I'm a cardamom?"
"Yes."
"But I didn't hear you say it."
"You're a cardamom."
"Thank you."

Cardamom by James Headfield March 10, 2020

australian jesus 

Australian Jesus is a white guy with long hair who heads his own cult in the Australian outback. He appeals to monied persons, and ignores the poor. He convinces them to leave their families, show up in Australia (if they're foreigners), and place their monies in the palm. Then, he puts them into a heightened emotional state that makes them cry. If you wish to abandon all that is good and true in life, and then cry, then you are encouraged to seek out the cult of Australian Jesus.

Example for Australian Jesus:

"You don't believe in Jesus!?"
"No, of course I believe in Him. He's that one fella in Australia."

australian jesus by James Headfield March 10, 2020