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Jake 's definitions

Homer Simpson

none needed
by jake November 13, 2003
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pooch

"Hey pooch, wanna go for a WALK?!?!"
by Jake March 27, 2005
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baseball analogy

the everlasting sexual bases metaphor. The best way to remember them is the four "F"s: French, Feel, Finger, Fuck.

first: the first step in a sexual relationship kissing with an open mouth or using tongue (french kissing)

first and a half base: under the shirt, bra still on

second: one step up from first base, heavy petting and feeling up while making out,direct oral or manual stimulation of a partner's breast/nipple, up the shirt or shirtless for both partners.

shortstop: in baseball, the shortstop is the field position between second and third base. So, in fooling around, shortstop is being masturbated by or masturbating your partner, as that's between feeling up and oral sex.

third base: the last base before penetration sex, entailing contact with the main sexual regions, a handjob or a blowjob (fellatio) for guys and fingering or giving head (cunnilingus) to the girl

home base: reaching home base or fourth base is consumating the relationship by having vaginal sex, making love or fucking
NOTE:first or second base can be achieved concurrently with dry humping, considered third base when oral or manual stimulation occurs to genitals.

"Margo finally let her boyfriend get to shortstop, but she used way too much lotion and he came on her shirt."

"We finally reached home base last night! Thankfully he had a condom on him because we were so horny we couldn't wait any longer"
by Jake March 5, 2004
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Dirty Bonher

Popular act in which a sexually aroused male ' accidentally ' bumps into the backside of a female.
Man dude,look at that ASS! Im so gonna Bonher.
by Jake July 1, 2006
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Parade of Fertility

Tradition in Japan in which they celebrate schlongs and have a giant pink blimp of one,a shrine,statues,japanese limbo,and every item of food is shaped like a penis.
I knew they were fucked up,I just didnt know they were THAT fucked up.
by Jake October 13, 2004
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hottie

n. A female who is deliciously sexy; Erotically and arousingly attractive. One who is able to make men burn with desire.
by Jake February 25, 2004
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erectile dysfunction

polite medical term for the condition where you can't maintain an erection sufficient for penetration intercourse to orgasm
I explained that I had erectile dysfunction so she gave me the best blow-job I ever had.
by Jake February 1, 2004
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