Jack Atrophy's definitions

tism jism

That which is sprayed over a keyboard when certain people read fan fiction of Sonic the Hedgehog being fucked by a choo choo train.

Guy 1: Why is this library computer keyboard so sticky!?

Guy 2: Check the search history...

Guy 1: The last thing searched was "Sonic and the Steam Engine IX."

Guy 2: Quick! Wash your hands-- that's tism jism!

by Jack Atrophy August 10, 2022

problemaddict

An individual who hunts eagerly for things to be offended by. Such individuals are often very 'woke' and insufferable. They consider most behavior to be 'problematic' and worthy of harsh censure.

These people are ill and require treatment.

We must help these people.

"Have you heard? Zephyr is in rehab..."

"What for?"

"They were a closet problemaddict who couldn't stop moralizing about petty things on Twitter."

"Good for them."

by Jack Atrophy August 9, 2022

subturdfuge

When you try to hide the fact that you are taking a shit by turning on the shower water.

We heard your toilet farts echoing in there. Turning on the shower water didn't hide a thing. Don't believe for one moment that your little act of subturdfuge was successful.

by Jack Atrophy August 9, 2022

FUPA fromage

The name of what you are consuming when you suck out clotted dick cheese that has been deposited into the bellybutton of an obese woman who has been baking in the sun for four hours.

After eating that FUPA fromage last night my farts smell like jizzy feta.

by Jack Atrophy August 5, 2022

frottage cheese

When you are fucking a woman, but both of you are kinda fat so your jelly roll is rubbing up against her muffin top, and the rhythmic undulation of humping is whipping up a frothy mixture of semen, sweat, and lube that resembles cottage cheese. You know what I'm talking about. All the juices and shit from the crotch area somehow creep up to the abdomen. I'm not a physicist-- I don't know how. All I know is that it tastes good if you use it as nacho dip.

How about me and you go out to McDonald's, grab a bite to eat, go to the movies, stop at a Wendy's on the way home, watch some Netflix, order a pizza, and end the night by whipping up some major frottage cheese.

by Jack Atrophy August 6, 2022

brown beluga

A turd that is all big and knobby at one end but gradually tapers off at the other, resembling the body of a beluga whale.

There once was a man from Chattanooga,
Who dropped a fat brown beluga,
And when he was done,
He screamed just for fun,
"I once blew a guy in Kaluga!"

by Jack Atrophy August 4, 2022

spraymate

A lovely woman who agrees to go pee on your face.

Helga is the best spraymate ever. She drinks a lot of mountain dew before coming to one of our sessions.

by Jack Atrophy August 9, 2022