Jack Atrophy's definitions

spraymate

A lovely woman who agrees to go pee on your face.

Helga is the best spraymate ever. She drinks a lot of mountain dew before coming to one of our sessions.

by Jack Atrophy August 9, 2022

tism jism

That which is sprayed over a keyboard when certain people read fan fiction of Sonic the Hedgehog being fucked by a choo choo train.

Guy 1: Why is this library computer keyboard so sticky!?

Guy 2: Check the search history...

Guy 1: The last thing searched was "Sonic and the Steam Engine IX."

Guy 2: Quick! Wash your hands-- that's tism jism!

by Jack Atrophy August 10, 2022

Everything but the bitch's stink!

A phrase shouted in frustration when a partner is willing to do just about anything but anal.

Girlfriend: Let's try something special tonight... *bats eyelashes*

Boyfriend: How about I pork you in the dumper?

Girlfriend: I was thinking something more like vaginal fisting followed by risky breath play.

Boyfriend: Fuck! Everything but the bitch's stink!

by Jack Atrophy August 9, 2022

praymate

A friend who goes to church with you.

This is Andrew. He's my praymate. He goes to church with me every Sunday.

by Jack Atrophy August 9, 2022

goy toy

An older Jewish woman's younger gentile boyfriend.

"Have you seen J'Quan, Mrs. Goshberg's' new boyfriend?"

"Yes, I see she's found another goy toy to play with."

by Jack Atrophy August 6, 2022

plight of hand

The visual artist's perennial struggle to accurately represent the human hand.

Often times, plight of hand forces artists to obscure a figure's hands behind objects placed strategically in the foreground of the composition.

by Jack Atrophy August 6, 2022

es-pee-onage

The creepy and immoral practice of glancing quickly at another dude's dick while pissing at a urinal.

How did James know that I was uncircumcised? He must be a master of es-pee-onage.

by Jack Atrophy August 7, 2022