Jack Atrophy's definitions

father fap

What's happening in the other room when you hear very loud moaning coming from your dad's laptop speakers before he frantically turns down the volume.

Brother: Where's dad? He just disappeared...

Sister: I don't know. He's probably having a father fap or something.

by Jack Atrophy August 9, 2022

pedagogical paralysis

A disorder that prevents teachers from performing their job competently.

See teach impediment.

My teacher suffers from pedagogical paralysis. That is why I aren't can speak goodly.

by Jack Atrophy August 9, 2022

FUPA fromage

The name of what you are consuming when you suck out clotted dick cheese that has been deposited into the bellybutton of an obese woman who has been baking in the sun for four hours.

After eating that FUPA fromage last night my farts smell like jizzy feta.

by Jack Atrophy August 5, 2022

frottage cheese

When you are fucking a woman, but both of you are kinda fat so your jelly roll is rubbing up against her muffin top, and the rhythmic undulation of humping is whipping up a frothy mixture of semen, sweat, and lube that resembles cottage cheese. You know what I'm talking about. All the juices and shit from the crotch area somehow creep up to the abdomen. I'm not a physicist-- I don't know how. All I know is that it tastes good if you use it as nacho dip.

How about me and you go out to McDonald's, grab a bite to eat, go to the movies, stop at a Wendy's on the way home, watch some Netflix, order a pizza, and end the night by whipping up some major frottage cheese.

by Jack Atrophy August 6, 2022

tism jism

That which is sprayed over a keyboard when certain people read fan fiction of Sonic the Hedgehog being fucked by a choo choo train.

Guy 1: Why is this library computer keyboard so sticky!?

Guy 2: Check the search history...

Guy 1: The last thing searched was "Sonic and the Steam Engine IX."

Guy 2: Quick! Wash your hands-- that's tism jism!

by Jack Atrophy August 10, 2022

Everything but the bitch's stink!

A phrase shouted in frustration when a partner is willing to do just about anything but anal.

Girlfriend: Let's try something special tonight... *bats eyelashes*

Boyfriend: How about I pork you in the dumper?

Girlfriend: I was thinking something more like vaginal fisting followed by risky breath play.

Boyfriend: Fuck! Everything but the bitch's stink!

by Jack Atrophy August 9, 2022

goy toy

An older Jewish woman's younger gentile boyfriend.

"Have you seen J'Quan, Mrs. Goshberg's' new boyfriend?"

"Yes, I see she's found another goy toy to play with."

by Jack Atrophy August 6, 2022