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Jack Atrophy's definitions

es-pee-onage

The creepy and immoral practice of glancing quickly at another dude's dick while pissing at a urinal.
How did James know that I was uncircumcised? He must be a master of es-pee-onage.
by Jack Atrophy August 7, 2022
mugGet the es-pee-onagemug.

Miss-gender

When a Southern gentleman presumptuously addresses a young woman as 'Miss'.
"Pardon me, Miss. Do you know where the restroom is?"

"Pardon YOU, did you just fucking Miss-gender me!?"
by Jack Atrophy August 6, 2022
mugGet the Miss-gendermug.

twink stinker

The beautiful and life affirming anus of a gorgeous twink.
Therapist: "How have you been feeling lately?"

Client: "I was feeling depressed, but then I plowed a twink stinker and now feel that life is worth living again."
by Jack Atrophy August 6, 2022
mugGet the twink stinkermug.

contact bi

A heterosexual who becomes spontaneously attracted to members of the same sex after shaking hands with a sexy gay guy.

Also, the phenomenon in which this occurs.
"Hey, want to go camping next week?"

"Can't dude, still coming down from that contact bi I got at the gym last month."
by Jack Atrophy August 5, 2022
mugGet the contact bimug.

pleasure lumps

The little balls of poo that massage the shaft of your penis during anal.
Yeah bitch! Clench harder! I wanna feel those pleasure lumps...
by Jack Atrophy August 7, 2022
mugGet the pleasure lumpsmug.

problemaddict

An individual who hunts eagerly for things to be offended by. Such individuals are often very 'woke' and insufferable. They consider most behavior to be 'problematic' and worthy of harsh censure.

These people are ill and require treatment.

We must help these people.
"Have you heard? Zephyr is in rehab..."

"What for?"

"They were a closet problemaddict who couldn't stop moralizing about petty things on Twitter."

"Good for them."
by Jack Atrophy August 9, 2022
mugGet the problemaddictmug.

subturdfuge

When you try to hide the fact that you are taking a shit by turning on the shower water.
We heard your toilet farts echoing in there. Turning on the shower water didn't hide a thing. Don't believe for one moment that your little act of subturdfuge was successful.
by Jack Atrophy August 9, 2022
mugGet the subturdfugemug.

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