Jack Atrophy's definitions
Girlfriend: Let's try something special tonight... *bats eyelashes*
Boyfriend: How about I pork you in the dumper?
Girlfriend: I was thinking something more like vaginal fisting followed by risky breath play.
Boyfriend: Fuck! Everything but the bitch's stink!
Boyfriend: How about I pork you in the dumper?
Girlfriend: I was thinking something more like vaginal fisting followed by risky breath play.
Boyfriend: Fuck! Everything but the bitch's stink!
by Jack Atrophy August 9, 2022
Get the Everything but the bitch's stink! mug.When your penis suddenly twitches in anticipation of arousal from a stimulus that your eyes prematurely judge as sexy. A perfect example of this is when you’re in the grocery store and you spot a deliciously fat ass waddling down the yogurt aisle. Your prick twitches– but then you realize it’s a grotesque old man!
The other day I was driving past the horse pasture when I got a prick twitch! I looked down and said, “False alarm, buddy.”
by Jack Atrophy August 6, 2022
Get the prick twitch mug.A non-Jewish femboy.
by Jack Atrophy August 4, 2022
Get the femgoy mug.An expression used to characterize those of us who hold a certain set of beliefs and possess a certain set of values. It will be self-evident to posterity that we who now hold these beliefs and attitudes were correct, and thus on 'the right side of history'.
We who are on the 'right side of history' believe in objective reality and the capacity for science and rationality to uncover truths about the world.
We believe in free speech, open discourse, and continuous debate.
We believe that verbal and artistic offensiveness is not a crime.
We believe that it is cowardly to deplatform those who you disagree with.
We believe it is cowardly not to engage with those who you disagree with.
We believe in individualism over group identity.
We believe that you should judge an individual based on the content of their character and not the color of their skin or any other inessential attribute.
We hold color-blindness as an ideal to strive for.
We believe that men and women have differences, but this is okay and men and women should not be inhibited from doing what they wish on the grounds of sex-based prejudice.
We believe that is just fine to be gay, straight, or bi.
We believe that there is nothing wrong with being transgender. It is legitimate, despite there being a lot of junk philosophy that has attached itself to theory of gender presently. We will work out these problems together with the help of reason, science, open discourse, and debate.
We reject that there is any virtue in proclaiming a victim identity.
We believe in liberal democracy and reasonably regulated market economies.
We value liberty, fortitude, strength, and personal responsibility.
We believe in free speech, open discourse, and continuous debate.
We believe that verbal and artistic offensiveness is not a crime.
We believe that it is cowardly to deplatform those who you disagree with.
We believe it is cowardly not to engage with those who you disagree with.
We believe in individualism over group identity.
We believe that you should judge an individual based on the content of their character and not the color of their skin or any other inessential attribute.
We hold color-blindness as an ideal to strive for.
We believe that men and women have differences, but this is okay and men and women should not be inhibited from doing what they wish on the grounds of sex-based prejudice.
We believe that is just fine to be gay, straight, or bi.
We believe that there is nothing wrong with being transgender. It is legitimate, despite there being a lot of junk philosophy that has attached itself to theory of gender presently. We will work out these problems together with the help of reason, science, open discourse, and debate.
We reject that there is any virtue in proclaiming a victim identity.
We believe in liberal democracy and reasonably regulated market economies.
We value liberty, fortitude, strength, and personal responsibility.
by Jack Atrophy August 7, 2022
Get the right side of history mug.The other night I was getting a boob job from Abagail when we ran out of lube. I told her to keep going, and that's how I got this booby blister.
by Jack Atrophy August 6, 2022
Get the booby blister mug.All of the factors in a social system that that perpetuate, enable, and incentivize the adoption of identities based in victimhood.
"Why are people listing their ailments in their Twitter bios?"
"Oh, it's a great way to rack up intersectional points and climb up a few tiers in the victim hierarchy."
"Why would they want to do that?"
"Because with victimhood comes a whole bunch of perks. If you are a victim, you always have an excuse to fail. You always have a hypothetical oppressor to blame. You are given license to censure anyone who disagrees with you. You receive an abundance of pity. And best of all, you get to envision yourself as the noble underdog struggling in the next big civil rights movement!"
"That sounds pathological."
"That's because it is... and it is all a product of systemic victimhood."
"Oh, it's a great way to rack up intersectional points and climb up a few tiers in the victim hierarchy."
"Why would they want to do that?"
"Because with victimhood comes a whole bunch of perks. If you are a victim, you always have an excuse to fail. You always have a hypothetical oppressor to blame. You are given license to censure anyone who disagrees with you. You receive an abundance of pity. And best of all, you get to envision yourself as the noble underdog struggling in the next big civil rights movement!"
"That sounds pathological."
"That's because it is... and it is all a product of systemic victimhood."
by Jack Atrophy August 6, 2022
Get the systemic victimhood mug.Patient: Hello, I'm Jack. I'm here for my teeth cleaning appointment.
Dental Receptionist: Your appointment was at 8:00 AM. It is now 4:56 PM. You have committed a late crime. I'm calling the police.
Dental Receptionist: Your appointment was at 8:00 AM. It is now 4:56 PM. You have committed a late crime. I'm calling the police.
by Jack Atrophy August 9, 2022
Get the late crime mug.