33 definitions by Jack Atrophy

father fap

What's happening in the other room when you hear very loud moaning coming from your dad's laptop speakers before he frantically turns down the volume.

Brother: Where's dad? He just disappeared...

Sister: I don't know. He's probably having a father fap or something.

by Jack Atrophy August 9, 2022

social Carlinism

The practice of not emotionally investing oneself in the grand outcome of humanity while approaching society as an amusing spectacle. This attitude was famously espoused by comedian George Carlin.

The preface to Brain Droppings is the best summation of the philosophy of social Carlinism.

by Jack Atrophy August 5, 2022

steamfunk

A genre of stench in which the aroma of a freshly baked poo combines with the steam from a hot shower.

Mmm... yummy yummy for my tummy. Do you smell the steamfunk from that delectable shit I just took?

by Jack Atrophy August 9, 2022

booby blister

A blister that forms on the penis after titty fucking with insufficient lubricant.

The other night I was getting a boob job from Abagail when we ran out of lube. I told her to keep going, and that's how I got this booby blister.

by Jack Atrophy August 6, 2022

Miss-gender

When a Southern gentleman presumptuously addresses a young woman as 'Miss'.

"Pardon me, Miss. Do you know where the restroom is?"

"Pardon YOU, did you just fucking Miss-gender me!?"

by Jack Atrophy August 6, 2022

spraymate

A lovely woman who agrees to go pee on your face.

Helga is the best spraymate ever. She drinks a lot of mountain dew before coming to one of our sessions.

by Jack Atrophy August 9, 2022

tism jism

That which is sprayed over a keyboard when certain people read fan fiction of Sonic the Hedgehog being fucked by a choo choo train.

Guy 1: Why is this library computer keyboard so sticky!?

Guy 2: Check the search history...

Guy 1: The last thing searched was "Sonic and the Steam Engine IX."

Guy 2: Quick! Wash your hands-- that's tism jism!

by Jack Atrophy August 11, 2022